I have had several friends say they are not happy and that they do not know how to find happiness. I do not in any way shape or form profess to be the happiness coach, nor do I have all the cures for finding your own happiness; however, I would like to share to a few things I have learned over my own years of searching for happiness.
For years I went back to a relationship thinking I could not be “happy” without him or the relationship. I could not be alone. I went back trying to love and be loved, however I was only putting myself through a personal hell.
I let the relationship define me and my reason for being.
After my divorce I found that I didn’t even know who “I” was. I had been too busy trying to find happiness in someone else, that I had lost myself. I had to rediscover and find who I was.
A year later I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t because of the lack of having someone in my life. I had to find happiness within, because if I was not happy now how was I ever going to he be happy in a relationship?
Letting someone else be your source of happiness is self-destructive. You have to learn to like, love and respect yourself before anyone else.
How long do you find yourself happy when you allow your happiness to be driven by another person? A couple of weeks or months, and then what?
Then you believe this person must not be the “one” because they no longer make “you” happy….. when in reality you set this relationship up to fail because you were searching for someone/anyone to fulfill your void.
We have all been taught that to love someone is to sacrifice yourself for their happiness and in return we expect them to do the same for us. However, by sacrificing our happiness we are only becoming miserable. We alone are responsible for our happiness.
Start by making yourself the priority and no-one else. Find yourself, and enjoy being you.
Now this doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone out of your life, but that you should allow yourself to be the priority.
The only person you cannot live without and have unconditional love for is YOU! Everyone else is a bonus. Once you start to love yourself and instead of leaving your happiness dependent upon others, the right people will fall into place.
Written By: Aliceson Troute Carver