Headlines can tell a lot about a person. Typically by reading about 10 of them on a page we can tell if that person is a positive or negative person. I have listed the headlines as I read them when browsing profiles of strangers last night. Next to what they had as their headline I have listed what the person really meant to say.
(WARNING:This exercise is intended to be humorous and is not intended for paranoid people. May cause the participants to self-check and have flashbacks of this blog prior to every headline they post from the time of reading and forward. Those without personality should not read this. )
“Sick of crazy ex’s!” What they meant to put is “I’m the crazy ex!”
“Tired of people not telling the truth!” What they meant is ” I could not tell the truth if my life depended on it.”
“My life is a mess” they meant to say “I am a mess”
“My toe, throat, neck, tooth, or back hurts” they meant to say “can someone please feel sorry for me so I can justify this bad day?”
“My kids are out of control” should read ” I have slacked in my parenting and now things are out of control. It is my own fault. “
“I hate my parents!” should read ” Darn it, they got me again. And they are right! “
” Drama, why can’t people leave me alone” really says “maybe I should quit running my mouth and stirring up trouble.”
“Some people suck!” should read “I hate it when people call me out!”
“I don’t care about what anyone thinks of me!” means “I get hung up when people don’t like me!”
“My relationship status is complicated” truly means “I really want to test the waters. Perhaps cheat. Is there something better out there for me?”
“I want to slap someone” should read “I need slapped. I am ignorant.”
“Some people never change” says “I’m so busy watching other people I don’t look at myself. I fear change”
“Hates cheaters” says “Hey everyone, I have cheated before!”
“Anybody have someone they can fix me up with?” really says, “Hey all! I’m lonely, insecure, and desperate. Please send an innocent loved one for me to inflict my misery on. Thank you!”
“I’m amazed with what people do to make a quick buck” says “man I wish I had some drive and ambition. I should do something with my life. “
Now that you know what headlines say to me, what do headlines say to you? There is some humor in them. Who projects negative and who projects positive? What are they really trying to say? Do you have any to add to this list?
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I played a few different sports as a youngster but basketball was by far my favorite, and I am passionate about teaching the skills that someone was once patient enough to teach me. If you have ever had a coach, you owe at least one season of your life to coaching something. A.) You get to give a little back, and B) At times it is just hilarious!
I coach a junior basketball girls team along with a boy’s team. I find it very fulfilling and look forward to every practice and game. So while at practice the other night with the boy’s team I’m doing various exercises. We are doing passing drills, layups, setting picks, learning plays, followed by this intense dribbling exercise that I taught them. When we finished the dribbling exercise I said, “OK BOYS, HOLD YOUR BALLS” as I proceeded to tell them the next drill.
I notice some parents giggling on the sidelines through my peripheral view, then I made eye contact with them. One mom then pointed to a 3rd grader on my team who was doing exactly that, holding his balls.
I guess I will have to be a little more specific next time! Crazy kids!