We are fools for love or thinking we have found it only to find out in time…..
“That was not it!”
But one thing is for certain….
we either always love them or we never truly did.
Love
Why Can’t They Love You?
It will not matter how much we love, forgive, or accept someone. If they are incapable of loving us the way we need to be loved, the relationship is doomed.
For some love is a lifelong commitment. It is a sacred covenant where they place all of their trust. For others, love lasts until the next best thing comes along. They want the rush and thrills of love without doing any of the work. They need the quick fix.
Thoughts of goodbye may bring anxiety. There may even be moments of panic depending on how it ended. We can suppress the feelings or face them. By facing them we stand a better chance of succeeding the next time.
When we have given all that we had and loved with all of our heart to have lost; odds are the next time will be the real deal. It very well may be a relationship where all things are reciprocated. In the meantime, keep the faith. Had we not experienced the loss we wouldn’t be ready for that one we are about to meet.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Love Is Like A Tattoo
I designed this greeting card after having reflected upon my own life as well as the lives of others. Once true love is found; it will always exist. It may change forms but it is still there somehow. While on some days the flame will be brighter than others; it will never go away.
We may cover it, and we may hide it but still we know it is there. And sometimes others can catch a glimpse of it without us even knowing that they noticed. Like a tattoo, love is hard to hide.
Just as ink covers the body we all long to be covered in love. And just as the ink creates a design that becomes a beautiful piece of art, love paints a picture for us all that we will always hold close to our heart.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
Speed
We have measured the speed of light
We have measured the speed of sound
The measurement of darkness is so quick
It leaves us breathless on the ground.
We measure the speed of love
All speeds of which are real
This new love in my life
Has really made me feel
At any speed, love is still love
And my love to you I give
So glad we didn’t let measurements interfere
Baby, it’s time to live!
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
We Have Always Loved Them, Or We Never Did
“You never stop loving someone.
Either you always will or you never truly did.”
© Kait Staples 2010
There is nothing closer to the truth, than these words. When we have truly loved someone, that love never goes away. Although we may ignore that love, suppress it, or fight to avoid it; it is there. We may deny it, we may extinguish it, but eventually our true feelings surface. When we find ourselves, we find love.
Love has many levels in relationships. Despite the level change, it still exists. It may be stronger or weaker than it once was, but it is there if it was ever truly there to begin with. Often when passion has left a relationship, we think that love followed it out the door. We feel less connected to someone, so we feel out love is gone. Sometimes “we run into the arms of curiosity to find out what was there all along” as India Arie sings in her powerful song, Wings Of Forgiveness.
No matter what we do to avoid loving someone: if it was ever truly love it will always be there. And that, should give us all hope. So many search for answers when it comes to love, loss, relationships, marriage, divorce, affairs, who do you love, etc. In fact, heartache drives the most traffic to this website, among many others. It is heartbreaking having learned my lessons the hard way, to watch others as they receive the same lesson. I want to help them, and tell them “NO, don’t do it! It’s right beside you! That love you are searching for has been there the whole time!” But, as humans the more people warn us not to do something the more we want to check it out. We want to see for ourselves what all of the fuss is about. And more often than not, we let denial keep us from experiencing the true beauty of love. We let doubt keep us from experiencing unconditional love. We let low self-esteem allow us to run to someone else and doubt what we had. When we are broken people, love is complicated.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Who Do You Love?
Love is the willing sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return. With that being said, how many of us truly love? We say things like “Well I did this for them, they can at least ____.” We keep score in our head of who has done what in the relationship such as who visits who, who calls who, etc. We don’t always admit that we do this, but we do.
So, I guess the question here is “Who Do You Love?” How many people have you loved to this degree? When is the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return? Have you done a favor for someone you love, and when the time came for you to have a favor done for you nobody came through? Were you irritated? Did you expect them to do for you what you once did for them?
If everyone memorized and lived by this definition, we would all be a lot easier to love. Love isn’t easy, but certainly was never intended to be a battlefield. It was intended to be the “willing and sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return.” Yes, that is love. True love.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Do You Stay With The One Who Love’s You, Or Go Back To The One You Love?
I have been asked this question by one of my reader’s and have found other people in my life pondering the same question;
Do you stay with the one who loves you, or go back to the one you love?
I can only offer advice on the topic as I am in no position to make a decision for someone. It is a decision only the person asking the question can answer in their own time.
From my experience, many feel a need to go back. The question is, does the person you love, love you? Or is this a fantasy? Are you just remembering a time in life when things were pleasant, or did you really miss something good? More often than not, the answer is not the latter of the two.
Typically, as the saying goes; there is a reason this person didn’t make it to your future. From what I have observed in my life and others is; people who want to return to a past love, are usually those that are still carrying some sort of guilt from that relationship.
For example: There are times one may want their ex. But it’s not necessarily them that they want. It is the fact that they are fantasizing and wanting what could’ve been. It is not because it was a fabulous relationship or it would not have ended. Something somewhere was lacking.
There is something to be said for having someone who truly loves you. Beyond the surface, and unconditionally. They accept your weaknesses, they do not judge you and they accept you for who you are. That is huge! Can you talk to them? Is there a good friendship? Because in the end, with years of marriage, the same friendship that started it will be the same friendship that allowed you to grow old gracefully, and together.
If we love ourselves then we are capable of loving anyone who loves us. Especially if they are someone we once loved.
We often over analyze our relationships and that causes problems. We are looking for that feeling that went away, those butterflies, the passion, and so on.
Mostly everyone has that “One who got away”. But they must hear these words; they got away for a reason. And the one who loves you, that one that you feel you just cant love you loved them at some point.
What is it that made you once love them? Are there positive memories? What brought you together? Do you have any common goals now? Sometimes it is something as minor as no longer having a goal or task you focus on together. Aside from raising children.
Often people get the house, the career, the kids, etc. and just get comfortable. They forget to plan for the next list of goals they want to achieve together. It can be something as minor as taking a dance class together, up to patenting that billion dollar idea. A couple has to have something to focus on in the relationship,besides raising children or they will lose sight of the friendship and love that the relationship offers.
As much as we as humans crave stability, the monotony of life can darn near drive us crazy. Re-invent yourself, find yourself, and most importantly love yourself. After that, you will have your answer to this question: do I stay with the one who loves me, or go back to the one I love?
While deciding your answer, remember, the grass always looks greener on the other side. You are remembering a person who is probably not the same person you remember. They have grown, years have passed, etc. Odds are, if you don’t find yourself first you will ask the same question again, only this time it will be referring to the one you just left.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
There Is A Reason God Didn’t Let Them Notice Us Back Then
I see it often, and due to social networking sites along with technology it has become all to easy. Oh yes, the “friend” from the past.
It seems as though many are resorting to that these days. They are turning over every last stone from the past. But what are they searching for? Love? Acceptance? Themselves? A boost in self-esteem? Hope? Confidence? Security?
They are definitely searching for love and acceptance. They are searching for happiness. In most cases, they are validating themselves and looking for confirmation that they are not the screwed up.
They do not do it on purpose. It is not something they set out to do, seek and destroy. Sometimes, things just sort of… happen. By going back into their past they find joy, peace, love, happiness, acceptance etc. They find it temporarily anyway.
To them, there is history. This person reminds them of a person who once existed at a time when life was sweeter. They believed in one another. They listened. They had happy memories. They were always good if not the best of friends. And then time and distance happened.
They thought it was fate that their paths crossed again. They were about to be living what they thought would be, the dream life. It was their fairy tale coming true. Or so they thought!
Instead of it being fate, and a dream come true, it more often than not turns out to be another one of life’s lessons. There is a reason God didn’t allow that person to notice people that way when they were younger. There was a reason they were always just best friends. There is a reason it is called the past and it usually means it should not be a part of the present or future.
Often we cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed, misinterpreting our own emotions. If we are in a state of depression, turmoil, shock, etc., it is easy to get sucked into that fantasy life. That life with no troubles, nothing but passion, love, and happiness. Any new relationship should have those things so don’t let the fact that the person is from your past, fool you.
You are remembering a person as they were then, and it will take years before you know what kind of person they truly turned out to be.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
10 Places For Men To Meet A Normal Woman
I guess when deciding where to meet a “normal” woman it might help to know that “normal, is slightly overrated. However, if you mean normal as in she has morals, character, is secure with herself, and independent, then you might luck out in one of the 10 places listed below.
1. At the gym! Most women that visit a gym regularly have a sense of self-worth and value their appearance.
2. At church! Most people who attend regular church service often have a higher moral. Far different from the average bar fly!
3. Awareness Rallies! For example; Autism Awareness, Breast Cancer, Swim for Diabetes etc. These are great places to meet people with a lot of drive, that are passionate, and devoted!
4. P.T.O. meetings! School activities for your children are a great way to network and meet people. If a parent is attending a P.T.O. meeting they are not only dedicated to their children, but to the community.
5. At a craft store! Most women that visit craft stores, are creative! They love projects! They probably enjoy space when in a relationship.
6. Join a coed volleyball team! This is a wonderful way to meet a good woman! Women who play sports are typically more adjusted than those that don’t. Active is a good thing!
7. The library! Knowledge is sexy, and a woman who frequents the library is likely a woman who knows where she is going in life.
8. A local nursery! Women typically plant their own flowers, and well, they have to buy them somewhere!
9. Campgrounds! Women that aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty are usually the type that get involved in a relationship, for the long haul.
10. Family reunion! Okay, okay, I had to crack a funny somewhere! Please, no family reunions! Not yours anyway! So the tenth place to meet a woman would be at a local water park, science center, aquarium, or zoo.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Are they hopeless romantics, or just insecure?
I use to be a hopeless romantic. I wrote love letters, packed his lunch for work with little love notes inside, and I wrote poetry. Just for him. I’d buy him little gifts, plan trips for us together, and I hung by his every word. He was my heart’s desire.
I washed and folded his clothes, cooked for him, and I often greeted him with a hot plate of food after a long days work. When he came home the house would be immaculate, with candles burning, and me anxiously awaiting his arrival. I’d rub his hands that were overworked, I’d rub his back and shoulders, along with his feet. I did it all, for quite some time.
All of these things I have mentioned are characteristics of a “hopeless romantic”. Hopeless romantics are the “doers” in the relationship, for the most part. They are on a mission! They are fixated on love, and the joy it brings. When they feel they have found love, for them, it’s total bliss. Their mission in life, is to find their soul mate!
In hindsight, I can’t help but wonder if it was really because I was insecure that I did these things. Did I subconsciously become a hopeless romantic because I feared more loss in my life? After many defeats, I wanted a victory! I just wanted to be loved, I wanted to hear and see those things returned to me, by him.
As I continued with the behaviors that define a hopeless romantic, so began a path of self-destruction. By constantly fighting to be loved, I lost myself. And eventually, him too. In finding myself again, post divorce, I have now realized how very insecure I was all of those years.
Ironically now that I am independent and secure with myself;those traits of a hopeless romantic that I once carried seem to be gone. I still have a romantic side of course, but it is nothing like it once was. Hopeless romantics, I now avoid, when before that was all I wanted in a partner.
hope·less 1. Having no hope; despairing. See Synonyms at despondent. 2. Offering no hope; bleak. 3. Incurable. 4. Having no possibility of solution; impossible.
ro·man·tic
1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of romance. 2. Given to thoughts or feelings of romance. See Synonyms at sentimental. 3. Displaying, expressive of, or conducive to love: a romantic atmosphere. 4. Imaginative but impractical; visionary: romantic notions. 5. Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious: His memoirs were criticized as a romantic view of the past. 6. often Romantic Of or characteristic of romanticism in the arts. Is this just a coincidence? Or is there some truth to this? Are they hopeless romantics, or just insecure? What do you think?
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
The Empoweror 