I am a spiritual person, yes. Being religious, however, comes in spurts for me. (Like once every so many years) See, I like many many others felt for a long time that I couldn’t go to church because I would be a hypocrite. That is, however, until a recent situation in the parking lot of a church occurred while I sat and waited on my children while they were at a bible study.
I saw a couple fighting in the parking lot. As he cursed at her, and punched his car I thought “That’s exactly why I don’t go regularly” “That’s why millions excuse themselves for going” the list of thoughts could go for pages, you get my point.
In the next few moments of observing the situation God revealed this to me: “They are here, they are trying. If people came perfect, there would be no need to come. They are striving to do better, who are you to judge as you sit in the parking lot watching while smoking your cigarette?” I continued to think about what I felt had just been revealed to me and everything clicked. I thought “They could be dealing with anything and on the brink of a divorce, this could be their last hope and they are at least trying”, “They could have just buried a son or daughter, anything!”,”Who am I to judge?”
So many people are afraid to believe in God or how real he is because it’s easier to cast judgment and make excuses as to why they can’t. It breaks my heart, because he is real. I’ve experienced it! I don’t go to church regularly, I am not the ideal christian, I still do things I know I shouldn’t, but it doesn’t keep me from talking to Him about it. It doesn’t make me an awful person. It only makes me one more person that tries.
I’m sure God understands that many churches are filled with cliques, backbiters, perversion, and other forms of corruption and that I haven’t really found one that feels like home to me. I feel that He knows my heart, He knows my intentions, and that He speaks to me. He knows my struggles, He knows my strengths, He is my rock!
What I learned about religion, I learned on my own. I wasn’t raised in a christian home. It was something I sought. I tried every denomination you can think of, and Baptist is the one that seems to fit me the best. I’m not a bible thumper, in your face, your going to hell christian. Just your average gal, trying to live her life while maintaining spiritual peace.