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What Do You See When Looking At A Confederate (Battle) Flag

confederate flagA Nashville news station asked viewers their opinions on the removal of the Confederate flag from state buildings in South Carolina etc. Walmart also announced the removal of all products with the Confederate emblem from their stores. I stated my opinion, not realizing the amount of support I would have. It was the day of constant Facebook notifications.

My opinion:

I see history with that flag. Leave it. Hate is from within. It has nothing to do with flags, or anything/anyone else. Unless people lived in that era, they should see it as history. We were taught it in school. That’s history. If you hate it otherwise and seeing it stirs bad feelings, that was taught at home. And that hatred is from within.

Do you think of mistreated Christians when you see a Christian flag? Or mistreated gays if you see a gay flag? Do you think of the white Irish slaves when you see their flag? I don’t. To me they are flags. A person who sees negative was taught to see it that way.

Example:

If you took a group of first graders to look at mass amounts of flags they would see flags. They wouldn’t point out a specific one and say “THAT one has to go. It is evil!”

Fast forward years of being taught mixed with ones own feelings, life experiences etc. And take that same group in their 50’s. They would have stories for most both good and bad, and possibly resentment and hatred for some at the very sight of them. Why? They learned to.

The responses from the news post encouraged me to dig deeper and ask around. So I took it a step further in effort to prove my point. I took a poll. Here are the results.

Question: What do you think of when you see this flag?

Age 4   It has staz like the staz on my “shut” (stars, shirt)

Age 6   It has the same colors like the America flag

Age 8   I see you have a flag in your hand (uncontrollably giggling)

Age 10  I think of BIG monster trucks. 

Age 14  I think of the civil war and how the south lost

Age 16  I think of racism

So there you have it. Racism and hatred is a taught/learned behavior.

It is not the flags killing people. It is not a statue that represents history and things our society has overcome that is killing people. It is not the guns killing people. It’s people killing people.

People who were taught to never see the good in something, yes, those people are the ones killing people. You know, those people who were never taught how to love. We should remove those people, not the items in this world they blame for their heartless actions. Those items represent history, and are a reminder of how far we have come. And people like the Charleston shooter, are a reminder of how far we have yet to go.

ABCs of Life; Day 1, Letter A – Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It has been requested by a reader that I expand on my ABC’s of life poem. They felt a need to read more on each topic and I felt the idea was borderline genius. For the next several days (26 to be exact) I will begin to develop each line into thoughts for each day. Hopefully by the time we get to Z, we will all have more insight on life.

Day 1 Letter A

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Both words and actions have two faces. Whether they are in a positive or negative fashion, our words and actions will leave a mark somewhere.  They will have an impact and bring about change. They will build and they will destroy.   

I put the phrase “actions speak louder than words” in the poem ABC’s of Life and thought particularly of my ex-husband at the time that I wrote this line.  It is a series of words I have heard him say countless times over the years and something that I didn’t fully comprehend; until I was in my thirties. But now I can admit it, he was right. Actions speak louder than words.

I believe we put so much stock into words because religions teach us all that we are judgmental when we base our opinions on one’s actions. Society has taught us to deceive ourselves, and let people use their words to manipulate us.

If we paid more attention to the actions of others and less attention to words they speak; we wouldn’t find ourselves in some of the most hurtful situations. Instead we would be further along. We would not only feel stronger and wiser but we would probably find ourselves much happier too.

I have carried what was once an annoying statement in an argument with my ex husband with me. Upon reflection I can see where a bit of his philosophies rubbed off on me. Particularly this one, because in my mid thirties I do not need words of affirmation so much. When I hear things, they go in one ear and out another. It is more about what I see that speaks to me. Words are just words.

As I went from a girl to a woman I adapted to the philosophy that actions speak louder than words. Instead of needing lip service from others, these days I am more about: Don’t tell me that you love me, show me. Don’t tell me you will be there, just be there. Don’t tell me that I can trust you, instead display that you are worthy of my trust.  Don’t tell me you are there if I want to talk, call me for once. Don’t tell me to come over and see you, you can come see me too.

It is amazing how much more clearly you can see with this motto. It eliminates a lot of garbage. People weed themselves out because its obvious who cares and who doesn’t. There is nothing left to question.

 “While some words are merely whispers, people’s actions will always manage to shout out the truth.”

For today: Observe the actions of others and compare it to their words. If one’s actions do not coincide with their words, take a deeper look. Sometimes the answers to life’s problems will appear by just sitting back and watching, quietly. Make mental notes as needed and then begin applying the necessary changes.

Day 2 – Letter B

Be Careful Who You Trust 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Spiritual vs. Religious

I am a spiritual person, yes. Being religious, however, comes in spurts for me. (Like once every so many years) See, I like many many others felt for a long time that I couldn’t go to church because I would be a hypocrite. That is, however, until a recent situation in the parking lot of a church occurred while I sat and waited on my children while they were at a bible study.

I saw a couple fighting in the parking lot. As he cursed at her, and punched his car I thought “That’s exactly why I don’t go regularly” “That’s why millions excuse themselves for going” the list of thoughts could go for pages, you get my point.

In the next few moments of observing the situation God revealed this to me: “They are here, they are trying. If people came perfect, there would be no need to come. They are striving to do better, who are you to judge as you sit in the parking lot watching while smoking your cigarette?” I continued to think about what I felt had just been revealed to me and everything clicked. I thought “They could be dealing with anything and on the brink of a divorce, this could be their last hope and they are at least trying”, “They could have just buried a son or daughter, anything!”,”Who am I to judge?”

So many people are afraid to believe in God or how real he is because it’s easier to cast judgment and make excuses as to why they can’t. It breaks my heart, because he is real. I’ve experienced it! I don’t go to church regularly, I am not the ideal christian, I still do things I know I shouldn’t, but it doesn’t keep me from talking to Him about it. It doesn’t make me an awful person. It only makes me one more person that tries.

I’m sure God understands that many churches are filled with cliques, backbiters, perversion, and other forms of corruption and that I haven’t really found one that feels like home to me. I feel that He knows my heart, He knows my intentions, and that He speaks to me. He knows my struggles, He knows my strengths, He is my rock!

What I learned about religion, I learned on my own. I wasn’t raised in a christian home. It was something I sought. I tried every denomination you can think of, and Baptist is the one that seems to fit me the best. I’m not a bible thumper, in your face, your going to hell christian. Just your average gal, trying to live her life while maintaining spiritual peace.