“Best Interest Of The Child/Children” is a common phrase thrown around in custody disputes and court proceedings. However, unfortunately once everything is settled, it turns out to be a phrase that seems unimportant to most. Once the microscope is gone and nobody is paying attention, people slip back into the person they truly are.
The upsetting part is that the children have suffered enough. If the court systems truly cared about the child’s best interest they would care at all times. If they had some sort of “automatic review” where they actually went back to see how things are truly working for everyone, people wouldn’t get away with the things they do post divorce.
Children are being manipulated, poisoned, and hurt. Pains that will be with them through adulthood and possibly in their own marriages someday. It is really sad! There is case after case where children are not in the place that is in their best interest, yet there is nothing to stop it from happening.
Because there is no review, one must file a contempt charge. Then another, and another, and another. If they comply it gets thrown out, if you file again and they don’t comply they are guilty. But what does this solve? It would start a bigger war to file papers, hire lawyers, and have everyone walking on pins and needles again than to have a court system set up to automatically review custody agreements/cases.
If our court system could develop something to monitor such agreements, it would be about the best interest of the child, ALL the time. Not just when it is convenient for certain parties.
We have reviews for our criminals, our welfare system, government insurance/medicaid, and all of the other programs. BUT, not in our future, not when it comes to these kids that have suffered enough. What is wrong with this picture?
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The Empoweror 
This is something that needs attention you are right.I went through a divorce and thats all I ever heard.Where are all of those people now?I warned them that he would go back to his old ways.Nobody cares and nobody will listen to me still.
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It is infuriating to be the one that cares and nobody else does. My ex put on qute a show for the court system and lawyers. Now he is the same person I warned them all about. Trying to get orders changed is next to impossible. Its who you know and how much money you have in american court systems.
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Unfortunately you are right! We have every other week parenting. It kills the kids at times. Especially the girls. My son has enjoyed going over more recently, as he now has gokarts, latest games systems, etc. If they want to go hang out with him, I let them. I dont let the every other week interfere with their relationship. He on the other hand, uses it as power and control. Dangling my children from a fishing line so to speak. NO you cant call your mom! NO you cant go see your mom! I cant imagine how I would feel about someone as an adult, that kept me from either parent. Talk about deep issues!
Everything I said to their guardian ad lietem during our agreement, is today true. Back to old behaviors. Doesnt call them back for days. Doesnt show up when he tells them he will. No communication. My son went from being tested as gifted, to no gifted classes. Assignments not turned in for all the kids, the list goes on and on.
In heated divorces, cooperative parenting shouldnt be an option. If they could cooperate, would they be divorced? LOL!
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Your approach is the proper approach.By letting them see things for themselves you are allowing them to properly develop and not forcing them to carry adult emotions.
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Thanks Tonya. Kids should be allowed to be kids. I never want them to look back and feel I have taken their childhood from them. They have their opinions on things, and I don’t force mine.
It’s truly the only healthy approach for everyone involved.
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