If we give our children everything that they want, what else is there for them to work for? By giving them everything they want or think they need, we begin building a strong foundation for co-dependency. And this co-dependency may follow them for their entire life.
When I look around at different parent child relationships throughout the course of my life I see many things. In families where the child has been given everything, adulthood is difficult for them. With every snag in the line these adult children are calling their parents for help. These once spoiled young children, are now co-dependent adults that have a very hard time standing on their own feet.
When I look at people who had what would be considered a less pampered childhood, there is more success. These people who have fought their way to the top, have done it because up was the only way left to go. They had nothing. They had no one. They realized they could only count on themselves. By not having much, they were given more drive.
There is a remarkable difference when comparing the lives of children who were given it all, and children who had to fight for what they wanted. As adults it is the difference of what most consider to be success or failure, or better yet “sinking, or swimming.”
As we continue to raise our children, let us remember that they do not need everything everyone else has. Nor do children need everything they want. Why have a life full of costly activities when they would be just as content coloring a picture, playing a board game, or making a craft and spending quality time together? They also don’t need the latest sneakers or clothing, because in 6 months it will not fit them anyway.
When we spoil our children we are stealing their drive. We are teaching them that they do not have to work so hard, and that we will “get it” for them. Do we really want them still coming at 40 asking for help with car payments, mortgages, etc.? Or do we want to raise them to be independent and successful?
Children learn what they live. Question is, what exactly are we teaching this next generation? Children are as simple or as high maintenance as we teach them to be.
3 thoughts on “Spoiled Children & The Parents Who Steal Their Drive”
Wow, that is right on the money I have seen it a thousand times over. If parents only realized the long term effects they had on their children they may think twice sometimes. excellent post.
Wow!! Really love this. I myself a mother of three. Do Not spoil my kids, but my fiancees ex-wife spoils their kids. It irritates him but yet he still plays into it. You name it they have it ( ipads, ipods, laptops, the latest trends in shoes and clothes, the little girl at 11 gets her nails done on a regular basis, gets her hair dyed at the salon. They both have 3D televisions in their rooms. You name the location they have been there, Beaches, Resorts, the whole nine yards. Its ridiculous. The mom is never home. She compensates her love with material things. They disrespect her on a regular basis. They have sibling rivalries because they don’t like to share with each other. It’s sad. It’s affecting me because when they have their rivalries they call their dad ( moms never home ) and gets stressed out about almost to the brink of tears so in turn it stresses me out. Those are my step-kids I love them. But their noses are so high in the air its ridiculous. But like I read Children are as high maintenance as they are taught to be. Me and my fiancee went shopping one day to award all of the kids for good grades. And while my kids wanted the regular toy or candy. His kids ( 11 and 12 ) wanted pre-paid debit cards. Any advice?