Angels Are Near

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© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

14 Keys To A Better Life

Keys to life© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sick Of Feeling Crappy? Here Are Five Rules To Finding Happy!

I have had several friends say they are not happy and that they do not know how to find happiness. I do not in any way shape or form profess to be the happiness coach, nor do I have all the cures for finding your own happiness; however, I would like to share to a few things I have learned over my own years of searching for happiness.

RULE# 1
Happiness comes from within
For years I went back to a relationship thinking I could not be “happy” without him or the relationship. I could not be alone. I went back trying to love and be loved, however I was only putting myself through a personal hell.

I let the relationship define me and my reason for being.

After my divorce I found that I didn’t even know who “I” was. I had been too busy trying to find happiness in someone else, that I had lost myself. I had to rediscover and find who I was.

RULE# 2

Happiness quotes
A year later I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t because of the lack of having someone in my life. I had to find happiness within, because if I was not happy now how was I ever going to he be happy in a relationship?

RULE# 3

Happiness quotes

Letting someone else be your source of happiness is self-destructive. You have to learn to like, love and respect yourself before anyone else.

Question:
How long do you find yourself happy when you allow your happiness to be driven by another person? A couple of weeks or months, and then what?

Then you believe this person must not be the “one” because they no longer make “you” happy….. when in reality you set this relationship up to fail because you were searching for someone/anyone to fulfill your void.

We have all been taught that to love someone is to sacrifice yourself for their happiness and in return we expect them to do the same for us. However, by sacrificing our happiness we are only becoming miserable. We alone are responsible for our happiness.

RULE# 4

Self acceptance key to happiness

Start by making yourself the priority and no-one else. Find yourself, and enjoy being you.

Now this doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone out of your life, but that you should allow yourself to be the priority.

RULE# 5

The only person you cannot live without and have unconditional love for is YOU! Everyone else is a bonus. Once you start to love yourself and instead of leaving your happiness dependent upon others, the right people will fall into place.

Written By: Aliceson Troute Carver

Are You Having Trouble Understanding Someone?

Struggling to understand peopleWhen we watch the news or read the paper we may find ourselves asking: “What in the heck were they thinking?”  Or we read or hear countless stories of people inflicting pain upon themselves and others and wonder “Why on earth would they do that?”  And of course after even the slightest exposure to world news we hear or state: “What in the hell is wrong with people?!!!!”

We spend a lot of time worrying, wondering, questioning, and trying to understand people. We wonder how, why, and what pulled the trigger that took them to the dark side. Perhaps it is time to stop trying to understand everyone that we meet. Sometimes we are not suppose to figure them out. There are some things we are not suppose to understand.

Just because we encounter something does not mean that it is our battle to fight.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Life With Alcoholics- Lesson #3843

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I’ve spent twenty years of my life trying to understand alcoholism. I have gone to Alanon for families who deal with alcoholics. I’ve tried a more spiritual route such as prayer and church. I have read articles, books, and case studies.

I retired in my role as the provoker years ago. And I have exhausted myself as the martyr in recent years. Oh yes the martyrs. They are the ones who hope there is a day of awakening for the alcoholics in their life. Those that they either love or have loved.

The martyr has moments of hoping there will be a day the alcoholic feels bad for the deeds they have done. They just want to see apologies and recovery. Most of all, they want healing.

I have gone head to head with the ones who maintain the roles of being “the rescuer”. Years ago I was considered the rescuer too, so perhaps that is why their rescuing affects me like it does. I’d clean up the messes, apologize for many horrific social scenes of drunken stupor and I’d make excuses for the drunkenness all the time.

Over the course of time I got sick of being the provoker. I was tired of demanding respect, maturity, love and so forth. I got tired of telling stories of the things I would wake up to. I was tired of feeling embarrassed, mistreated, and unloved. So, I went on strike after that.

To me, the rescuers seem just as bad as the alcoholics themselves. They appear to have every excuse under the sun for the behavior of the alcoholic. Nothing is the alcoholics fault. And I mean nothing. Everything is blamed on people in the past or present days of the alcoholics life.

The rescuers claim they love their alcoholic but tough love has gone astray. They can’t find it no matter how hard they look. And they just can’t stand up to the alcoholic in effort to get them the treatment that they need.

Sometimes the alcoholic wants help but they do not have one person whom they respect to look them in the eyes and say: “Man you have a problem and you need serious help. Are you ready to get better yet? Because I can’t keep watching this. It is hurting everyone around you but mostly you!”

Questions of the day for the rescuers:

If your loved one had any other disease like Multiple Sclerosis, Cancer, Heart Disease, Kidney Disease, Liver Disease etc. and everyone around them could tell just by looking at them…..wouldn’t you try to help them?

Or would you make a bunch of excuses and blame others for the loved one not being in their best health? Would you claim other people gave them their disease? Would you say they had no disease regardless of their diagnosis?

Or would you continue to say: “Screw those people, they are all crazy. You’re just fine dear. Now I would help you but I just love you too much. And if I help you then that means I’d have to admit that I was wrong about you to all those people! So we will just keep this between us and go on about our business. Okay?”

Who Is Your God Given Mirror?

I wrote a poem years ago in regards to people and mirrors. The flow of it was there and it just slipped from my brain to my finger tips in seconds. The words have never left me since the day it was written. It is a simple reminder to myself and others struggling to understand people in general.

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God Given Mirror

I asked God for a mirror,

and He decided to give me you.

He said If I don’t like what I see,

then perhaps I have done it too.

He told me to cast no judgement,

on others when they are weak.

And that if I had nothing nice to say,

there shall be no need to speak.

He told me that you were my mirror,

what I dislike in you needs changed within me.

Because we are all one another’s mirrors

and our own worst enemy.

There is a lot of truth to what is said in this poem for the simple fact that “what we do not like in others is usually something that we do not like about ourselves”.

It may seem hard to believe it at first, but not if you really think in depth about it.

When we do not like someone…. it is because they either do something we use to do ourselves and we have attached negative feelings towards that action, or they do something we have suppressed and kept ourselves from doing.

 © Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Parenthood

Parenthood family

It has no map or guideline

for the success of which we endeavor.

Oh parenthood….  with no timeline.

Once established, it should be forever.

Parenthood 

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Parenthood

Through the good times, the bad times,

and all the ups and downs.

Through the risks, the falls,

the giggles, smiles, and frowns.

Parenthood

A lifetime job that never ends.

Accepting one of the hardest facts, 

that you may not always be friends.

mountainParenthood

It is a sacrifice.

A willingness to go without. 

It is carrying someone else’s pain.

And seeking to destroy their doubts.

Parenthood cruise pictures 116

It is a bit of a race.

But not all parents keep track.

Please pay close attention though,

these days aren’t coming back.

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Parenthood

Is doing your best with what you’re given.

And although many take it for granted

It’s the greatest blessing among the living.

© Angela Bininger 2015