This gals shirt reads “Myspace ruined my relationship”
Many people know the dangers facing marriages these days due to social networking sites. The internet in a large percentage of families, could be better described as “The Splinternet.”
Many couples see no danger when they first create a profile on sites such as Myspace, Facebook, twitter etc. The problem however is that it is all to easy to lose sight of what is really important, your marriage. Especially if there is an issue of loneliness and companionship.
I think in order to eliminate the odds of cheating that both people should have active accounts. I feel that passwords should be shared. I know it may sound absolutely ridiculous, but it is not. Many can attest to the fact that they too, were damaged by the splinternet.
It is all to easy to start searching through your past, wondering why you and Billy Bob or Suzy-Q never ended up together. They are single or in a miserable marriage now, and well, your spouse doesn’t pay much attention to you. Heck, you can’t even remember the last time you had an orgasm you didn’t have to fake with your spouse. It’s been years since you heard “Hey beautiful!”, “You are amazing”, the list goes on and on.
When a marriage is already struggling (or not struggling in some cases) it can take something as simple as “You are beautiful” or “You are handsome, you haven’t changed a bit” and then likely the affair will begin. It will be innocent, at first. Just old friends catching up, no biggie. It’s just an innocent email, text, phone call or lunch! Aw, it’s just a reunion with some old school friends, why should you take your spouse when someone has to stay back to watch the kids?
I would like to think that at least 95% of cheaters, thought they would never cheat. Those that say they never will or would, probably haven’t lived long enough or have experienced it’s effects at some point in their life to have come to such a decision. Regardless of your opinion on the matter, you don’t know what you would do until you were in the situation. We are all capable of the same things, and not a soul on this earth is incapable of cheating.
So be careful! Families tearing apart causes excruciating pain as you know. If your spouse doesn’t have an account, you probably shouldn’t either. Spend the time with him/her, your children, and the things that truly matter. You had those years with those people, and these years with your children …. you will never get back. Do the right thing! If not, guilt will eat at you for years to come. The past is a past for a reason. Let it be just that, the past.
3 thoughts on “The Splinternet, Marriage, & Social Networking Sites”
WOW I so agree with what you wrote! My first marriage was destroyed by the internet! And now, I have been married to my husband for 9 years, and we know everything about each others online stuff. Nothing is a secret! We both have facebook accounts, we listed each other as our spouses, we know each others passwords, in fact I know his work passwords, and have access to his phone when I want..as he does mine! He knows the trust issues I have and he knows that I will question anything that seems odd to me, even if it doesn’t seem odd to him (or probably wouldn’t to anyone else either!) Some women, and men I suppose, would see that as controlling or invasive. But, in this day in age the only way to protect your marriage is to be pro active..not sit around and wait till something awful happens. He has friends, but if they are of the opposite sex either they want to be friends of his wife or they aren’t really JUST wanting to be friends with him. Same goes for my male friends. He can go out with the guys to the sports bar to watch a game or go play poker or whatever, but no strip clubs! However, I have to say that we have so little time together because we own our own business, and that takes up the majority of our life, that when he does have time off we spend it with each other, that’s where our hearts are! It is way too easy for people to cheat now days! Being watchful, aware and really in tune with your spouse, making your marriage the priority is the only way to avoid it!
I couldnt agree with you more. I tried to get my former spouse in the mix when I made my accounts years ago. He just didnt care. And as a result, I began to not care. He got drunk and I had my computer…. and the rest, sadly, is history. Now I must help others, that is my goal. Thank you for taking time to share your story. It just inspired another blog…. “Are social media sites a symptom or result of a broken marriage?” That should be a good one! Stay tuned!
this is so true. thank you.