affair

Are They Truly Sorry?

We are all human and we all make mistakes. In some cases it hinders relationships and apologies are necessary. But how do we know if someone is truly sorry for their actions?

Admittance – Without admitting what we have done wrong we remain in a state of denial. While in denial, it is impossible to break the cycle. If your partner has admitted their wrong doings, you are heading in the right direction.

Apologetic – Anyone can apologize and say what people want to hear. When wondering how sorry a person is, ask yourself how sincere the apology was. Or was there even an apology? No apology is denial of the behavior and a guarantee that those emotions that prompted you to read this, will resurface again until the cycle is broken.

Actions – After admitting a wrongdoing and apologizing it is important to put words into action. At this stage the apologetic person should be taking large strides to correct his/her issues. This should be something seen regularly vs. something seen for the few days following a disagreement. Although we may slip up when making changes and revert to old behaviors from time to time, when someone is truly sorry you will see more days of effort than you will days of the old behavior.

Change – When a person is truly apologetic, change is noticeable. There are no gray areas. This person has not only admitted it and apologized, but he/she is actively trying to help himself/herself. Whether it be by reading materials pertaining to the issues, or receiving counseling for his/her problems the changes should be noticeable.

Accept – Someone that is truly sorry can take the heat, and will acknowledge what they have done along with accepting the repercussions. They will suggest ways to mend fences, and admit that they guided the relationship to this position. They will accept any emotions they have caused those they have hurt as though they were their own. They will be understanding, compassionate, and patient.

“Until people decide with the right intentions to change for themselves,

….. change is impossible.”

How The Pain Of Infidelity Surpasses The Pains Of Death

Just referencing the word infidelity can bring great pain to one that has been in a relationship where it has occurred. The grieving process when a partner has cheated with one, or even multiple partners is often compared to death. To a degree that process is the same. The pain is deep, and it is real. Life as you knew it has ended.

Initially it begins with the shock and denial phase. You just can’t believe it. Even when you have seen the signs and your partner lied, this phase is a tough one. The emptiness in the stomach and the pressure you feel on your chest is unbearable. It is as though you stood under a crane and a piece of a concrete wall just fell on you. It squashes you.

Once you realized this is your new reality you begin to bargain, and reason. Then comes anger! You want every memory and trace gone. None of it was real. There is no need for memories to inflict more pain. You become consumed with thoughts and visuals of who your partner really is. What they were doing all those times you trusted them. Often times, you are ready to hurt someone and there better be not a soul that rubs you the wrong way. Anger, is dangerous.

Depression comes next, and then eventually you reach a point of acceptance. Anyone who bears the pains of an unfaithful partner will have experienced all five of these stages. They occur in any order. They can come one at a time, two at a time, and sometimes all at the same time. The betrayed partner could simply be driving down the road, then suddenly FLASHBACK! Ahhh, the pain is back! And it is all so real! It is hard to control! Mourning that loss of someone you loved. Someone you believed it. Your lover, and your friend. Now that is a painful bump in the road. A bump that can be crippling. It paralyzes the victim, they become frozen. They feel as though they were watching this movie, and out of nowhere the movie ends. IT’S OVER, THE END!

What makes the grief process with infidelity different from that of a death is the fact that as humans we expect death. Even when it’s premature death, it is reality that we will all eventually die. What we do not expect to have is that a partner is unfaithful. We do not expect them to be out with others laughing, and sexing it up. They are living a double life, all while the faithful stay faithful. They stay true to themselves. They stay true to who they are. And that is what makes it so devastating. The faithful, now bear a pain that they never deserved.

The faithful now visit doctors in hopes that they haven’t contracted a life long illness for that sake of their partners addiction to sex. The faithful now wonder if anything was ever real. The faithful ask why? Why wasn’t I worth the truth? How could you do this to me? Why did you string me along? How could you lie to me all those times I asked and you made me think I was crazy making up scenarios? How could you throw away everything we ever had for someone who meant nothing?

The absolute worst part of having suffered from the actions of an unfaithful partner, is that the victim is not only hurt by their cheating partner. The victim is not just going through the stages of grief and mourning the loss of a person, or a dream. The victim often feels sexually assaulted. The victim has no idea where there partner has been, or where those other people have been. The victim wasn’t worth their partner using protection to prevent infecting innocent people. The victim, has now slept with people that he/she has never met or known. The feelings of this, are devastating. The victim feels dirty.

So to the victims that read this, I am sorry. You aren’t dirty. It is not your fault. Your partner is sick. They need help. You can’t help them and that is not your fault. Their connection to you was deep. They avoided their feelings by using other people in place of what they really loved. They didn’t know who they were. They were weak and insecure. And they will get what they deserve.

To the whores, and cheaters – Thanks for continuing to populate the world with your infectious bodies. Now go get a hobby. Gain some respect for yourself. Show some character. And grow the hell up. It is not all about you and fulfilling your selfish desires at the expense of other people.

Your friends that support your lifestyle you lived while cheating on your partner(s), are worthless. A true friend would have told you it wasn’t right. A true friend would want you to do well in life. A true friend would want you to become the best person you can be. So as the partner you once had leaves, remember that your pathetic people who supported your ignorance, are the same classless bastards you deserve. And keep an eye out, this will all come back around. Karma, is karma. And you will get yours!

Craigslist Prostitution, Out Of Control

I recently had people respond to an ad I had posted on Craigslist. After a few months of searching for work I was tired of emailing resumes, and thought I would post an ad to see if work would by chance find me. And it did! Unfortunately, with some of that work came some real weirdo’s.

Now, I don’t understand how a site like Craigslist can get away with things such as prostitution! Who moderates this site? People post ads regularly wanting to hire someone for sex, or offering to service someone. Some even write that they are disease free. Now that’s funny that someone posting such an ad would expect someone on the opposite side to believe that. It’s sick!

As business’s responded to my advertisement I got excited. It seemed too good to be true. I was going to get to use my business skills and help them solve problems from within their business. I was getting them online, building their website, or whatever they needed.

During the screening process, one man who owned two medical imaging firms in Dublin and Pickerington offered this : “$2500 a month, no need to come in. I add you to the payroll, but you service me twice a week. My wife will never know, she has nothing to do with our business.” I was floored, and no longer stayed in contact with him. I felt awful for his wife, Lord knows what he’s passed to her. How could she have married such a slime bucket?

I managed to find a few good leads, but was literally shocked with the amount of creeps lurking out there. It’s times like the guy mentioned above, that I wish I were a cop. People like that, need help. And Craigslist needs moderators or it should be banned.

The Splinternet, Marriage, & Social Networking Sites

This gals shirt reads “Myspace ruined my relationship”


Many people know the dangers facing marriages these days due to social networking sites. The internet in a large percentage of families, could be better described as “The Splinternet.”

Many couples see no danger when they first create a profile on sites such as Myspace, Facebook, twitter etc. The problem however is that it is all to easy to lose sight of what is really important, your marriage. Especially if there is an issue of loneliness and companionship.

I think in order to eliminate the odds of cheating that both people should have active accounts. I feel that passwords should be shared. I know it may sound absolutely ridiculous, but it is not. Many can attest to the fact that they too, were damaged by the splinternet.

It is all to easy to start searching through your past, wondering why you and Billy Bob or Suzy-Q never ended up together. They are single or in a miserable marriage now, and well, your spouse doesn’t pay much attention to you. Heck, you can’t even remember the last time you had an orgasm you didn’t have to fake with your spouse. It’s been years since you heard “Hey beautiful!”, “You are amazing”, the list goes on and on.

When a marriage is already struggling (or not struggling in some cases) it can take something as simple as “You are beautiful” or “You are handsome, you haven’t changed a bit” and then likely the affair will begin. It will be innocent, at first. Just old friends catching up, no biggie. It’s just an innocent email, text, phone call or lunch! Aw, it’s just a reunion with some old school friends, why should you take your spouse when someone has to stay back to watch the kids?

I would like to think that at least 95% of cheaters, thought they would never cheat. Those that say they never will or would, probably haven’t lived long enough or have experienced it’s effects at some point in their life to have come to such a decision. Regardless of your opinion on the matter, you don’t know what you would do until you were in the situation. We are all capable of the same things, and not a soul on this earth is incapable of cheating.

So be careful! Families tearing apart causes excruciating pain as you know. If your spouse doesn’t have an account, you probably shouldn’t either. Spend the time with him/her, your children, and the things that truly matter. You had those years with those people, and these years with your children …. you will never get back. Do the right thing! If not, guilt will eat at you for years to come. The past is a past for a reason. Let it be just that, the past.

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected