One a cheat always a cheat, right? I don’t agree. I believe that if there is an intervention that anyone can change. However, from personal experience, I have found that people most often change when they are uncomfortable. And I mean realllllly uncomfortable!
If you have just found out someone you love has cheated and you are only dating with no attachments such as children, run for the hills. The heartache you leave them with by turning your back will be the only hope for them to change. At least immediately anyway. By sticking around you are lowering your standards, and selling yourself short. You deserve better, and it’s out there somewhere.
If you do have children and it has happened, seek immediate counsel. This is crucial! If you believe in God I recommend a christian counselor because your relationship needs a prayer warrior. If you do not believe in God, look for a counselor with good credentials. Someone that has been doing it for 20+ years would be ideal. Once you set the appointment, GO! Following through is important or you will end up right back where you are right now.
If you do not figure out the cause, and they do not take responsibility, odds are it will happen again. And again. And again. They may try and convince you that they have learned this one time by seeing the pain that they caused you. This is seldom true! Don’t buy it!
They will make it up to you, just wait, you will see. Well, if that is promised, all you can do is let time tell you the answer. Once they have cheated, as you know, their words don’t mean much. Nothing seems to really.
You will earn your P.H.D. in forgiveness if you decide to stay. BUT, they will never learn all they need to know about it, unless you walk away. Even if it is only temporary.
Yes, it is possible to prove the saying “once a cheat always a cheat” to be incorrect, however, without intervention the saying would prove to be true.
The Empoweror 
You are 100% correct!
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Only when you walk away will they change. Its the only way.
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I cheat, alot. When I met her she said it was normal and ok. After marriage ofcourse all that changed in her mind, not mine. If I tell you something, it’s probably the truth. To me, you’re not worth lying too. If I’m the man you pick, it’s not your life long job to change me. If we breakup, it’s your fault! You check my phone, wallet and anything else I let you get your hands on. Why? Leave bitch, you lied! Just like I picked you up, I can get a million more. You hang arround and make my life miserable, our kids get all screwed up and you get more and more bitter. Resorting to abuse, violence and damaging our stuff. Go away! I ain’t trying to keep you anyway. I lie when I cheat cause that’s the only way I can get you off my back. I won’t divorce you cause then you make all those awful decisions for our kids, my mistake having them with you
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So true, So true
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Sounds like she shouldnt have married you. Perhaps there are self esteem issues on both sides. Not being faithful will surely screw the kids up though. The best thing a father can do for his children is “Love their mother”, its biblical, and its true.
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Yes, it allows time to see things from the others perspective. Not to say you have to walk forever, but long enough for change at least.
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Im not by any means proud to know these things, just helping others take preventative measures so they don’t end up somewhere they do not want to be.
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indeed!
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Wow, that guy doesn’t sound like he has much self esteem….it’s kinda sad actually. If he cared about his wife making all the decisons for the kids maybe he should not behave so irresponsibly!!!
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Yeah, THATS what I was thinking! Just selfish, that is all. At the beginning he talks about how honest he is and by the end he’s saying he lies to her about cheating. Multiple personalities I guess….. who knows.
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