Single Moms vs. Wannabe’s

I hear the term single mom often; it is  my life. There is a sense of pride with the title, along with a sense if shame. Most of us intended to raise our children with a partner.  However, for various reasons it didn’t work out. So here we are, truly single and raising children.

When I was married I often said “I’m a single mom with a marriage license.”  I felt very alone and single when it came to rearing the children. He would often come home from work late and the kids were already bathed and in bed. The norm was for the kids to see their dad on Sundays.

When it came to their schooling, doctor’s visit’s, sports activities etc.; it was all me. I did everything but pay the bills and felt I had a right to call myself a single mom. Now I realize, I did not have that right. Nor do other married people who say such a thing. We each played a valuable role, but by falling into traditional gender roles we in time lost respect for one another.

The truth is; A single mom lives alone. She works as many jobs as she needs. She refuses to fail. She refuses to live under someone’s thumb.  She has respect for herself. She will not allow to fear to dictate her life. She is the nurturer, the protector, and the provider. She is an inspiration to those that are miserable and to those who are waiting to take the leap.

She is often judged by catty pampered women, and not respected as much as she should be. She is discriminated against often, but each day she rises again. And each day she succeeds one more time because he is determined. She finds herself doing things she has never done before. She has a strength that can not be explained, and a strength she didn’t know she had.

At least this single mom does anyway….

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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16 thoughts on “Single Moms vs. Wannabe’s

  1. thats a cool post. I was a single mom, after my first marriage failed. And, in some ways, even though I am remarried, I still see myself as a single mom when it comes to my own kids. They are not my husbands kids, although he does help me financially with them, and he cares about them…but still he is not their dad and I do not expect him to take on that role unless he chooses to. They have a dad…a dad who is absent a lot of the time, except when they all want to go out to dinner, or have a good time. he is the good time dad. But, I was responsible and still am to run them everywhere, pay for their expenses ( he does pay child support but not nearly enough to offset what it truly costs to raise a child) He is supposed to pay 60% of medical bills..he has paid none over the years including braces, illnesses, and the list goes on. I nurture them, I listen to their problems, how their day goes at school, I go to their conferences ( I have two kids with dyslexia so that has been challanging), stayed up with them when they were ill…yes I do have a partner, a man who loves me and I love him. And yes he does help me when he can…but again…they are NOT his children and he doesn’t have to share that burden with me, but he chooses to. We have no kids together, he and I, but I do consider us all a family as hard as that is with blended families…sometimes more difficult then being alone! I also have lupus, was diagnosed one year after we got married…so another stress to add to the pot! So, I do have a high appreciation for single moms, as well as step parents!


  2. I cringe a little inside when I read a post from a married mom that says “I’m a single mom for a week.” Yeah, that’s not single motherhood. But I don’t berate them for it. People that don’t get it just don’t get it.
    Here via @singlemommyhood’s tweet.


  3. Very good point, I could see still feeling the term fitting to a degree, when remarried. I guess what I meant was more of the terms of not having live in help. Even if it is something as minor as taking out the trash, to something more important such as paying a mortgage. It is just a different kind of loneliness.


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