I hear the term single mom often; it is my life. There is a sense of pride with the title, along with a sense if shame. Most of us intended to raise our children with a partner. However, for various reasons it didn’t work out. So here we are, truly single and raising children.
When I was married I often said “I’m a single mom with a marriage license.” I felt very alone and single when it came to rearing the children. He would often come home from work late and the kids were already bathed and in bed. The norm was for the kids to see their dad on Sundays.
When it came to their schooling, doctor’s visit’s, sports activities etc.; it was all me. I did everything but pay the bills and felt I had a right to call myself a single mom. Now I realize, I did not have that right. Nor do other married people who say such a thing. We each played a valuable role, but by falling into traditional gender roles we in time lost respect for one another.
The truth is; A single mom lives alone. She works as many jobs as she needs. She refuses to fail. She refuses to live under someone’s thumb. She has respect for herself. She will not allow to fear to dictate her life. She is the nurturer, the protector, and the provider. She is an inspiration to those that are miserable and to those who are waiting to take the leap.
She is often judged by catty pampered women, and not respected as much as she should be. She is discriminated against often, but each day she rises again. And each day she succeeds one more time because he is determined. She finds herself doing things she has never done before. She has a strength that can not be explained, and a strength she didn’t know she had.
At least this single mom does anyway….
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