Leaving An Abusive Relationship: Where To Go

There are many resources available to both men and women who are trying to leave an abusive partner or relationship. Many are unaware of these resources. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Life is too short to live in negativity. There is a way to free yourself.

Every state in the United states has abuse shelters in counties throughout the state. If you are in fear of your life and hiding from an abuser there are even underground shelters. These are shelters that aren’t talked about openly. But by choosing an underground shelter your safety is pretty much guaranteed. Nobody will find you at an underground shelter.

Some shelters look like homes, and are disguised by their appearance alone. These are safe havens for victims of abuse, and these shelters will help you get on your feet. Many people hear the word shelter and they picture multiple bunks or cots as we have seen in the movies and on television. This is hardly the case. These shelters are often nice places. Although some may be lacking in amenities, not all of them do.

Each shelter has different rules, and accommodations. Do some homework to find out which shelter will meet your families needs the best. Most have a community living area and each person has their own private room and bathroom. In most shelters these rooms are locked and only the one rooming in there has a key. A shelter that offers privacy such as this, is ideal.

Once you are in the shelter your basic needs are met. The staff will provide you with numerous resources such as child care, employment, food, toiletries, etc. They will also provide you with clothing, vouchers for things in the community such as Y.M.C.A, movies, etc. These resources vary from shelter to shelter. The length of stay also varies from shelter to shelter, however I have seen many shelters that will allow the victim(s) to stay for up to 3 months.

Shelters will keep you and  your children safe, and are a definite way to stop/end abuse. They are secure, and will provide you will attorneys if necessary. Most of the workers are volunteers and understanding. They too were once a victim.

By retreating to a domestic violence shelter, you take the first step in reclaiming your life.

There is hope!  Life begins when the abuse ends.

Can A Cheater Change Their Ways?

One a cheat always a cheat, right? I don’t agree. I believe that if there is an intervention that anyone can change. However, from personal experience, I have found that people most often change when they are uncomfortable. And I mean realllllly uncomfortable!

If you have just found out someone you love has cheated and you are only dating with no attachments such as children, run for the hills. The heartache you leave them with by turning your back will be the only hope for them to change. At least immediately anyway. By sticking around you are lowering your standards, and selling yourself short. You deserve better, and it’s out there somewhere.

If you do have children and it has happened, seek immediate counsel. This is crucial! If you believe in God I recommend a christian counselor because your relationship needs a prayer warrior. If you do not believe in God, look for a counselor with good credentials. Someone that has been doing it for 20+ years would be ideal. Once you set the appointment, GO! Following through is important or you will end up right back where you are right now.

If you do not figure out the cause, and they do not take responsibility, odds are it will happen again. And again. And again. They may try and convince you that they have learned this one time by seeing the pain that they caused you. This is seldom true! Don’t buy it!

They will make it up to you, just wait, you will see. Well, if that is promised, all you can do is let time tell you the answer. Once they have cheated, as you know, their words don’t mean much. Nothing seems to really.

You will earn your P.H.D. in forgiveness if you decide to stay. BUT, they will never learn all they need to know about it, unless you walk away. Even if it is only temporary.

Yes, it is possible to prove the saying “once a cheat always a cheat” to be incorrect, however, without intervention the saying would prove to be true.

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