Controlling people are the liars of the world, and the liars of the world are controlling

I found an interesting link this week between controlling behavior, and liars. I have observed this by thinking of people I have encountered in my life that fit either title.

The people I have come across that appear to have control issues, are liars. The only thing they can’t control other than themselves, are the lies that they tell.

The people who I think of that have issues lying, exhibit some form of controlling behavior in their daily life.

When I refer to controlling people, I am referring to those who :

Force their thoughts or feelings on you: Someone has wronged them, and they interfere with your relationship with that person, as if you were wronged by that person too.

Tell you how you feel, or should feel : You don’t Care, You have no emotions, You don’t like me, You don’t even want to go, You haven’t ever ___, You have to ____, You can’t ___, You are just going to ___, etc.

There’s OCD somewhere: In some area of their life, or in majority of areas there will be some version of obsessive compulsive disorder. Wether it is paranoia of germs, having to have everything immaculate, unable to wear un-ironed clothes, always at the doctor, somethings always  wrong, hoarding, etc.

When I look back at situations in my life where I have told a lie, telling the lie was about control. Better yet, it was about being in control. At that same junction;I showed signs of control in other areas. Whether it was being obsessive compulsive about dishes in my sink, or actually trying to force my viewpoints or opinions on someone else. Either way, at the same time that I was lying, there were signs of control. By lying, instead of being in control I had given it to someone else.

When I think of “Sally”, I think about how she went her entire life controlling people. Those she couldn’t control, she shoved away. Or they would be smart enough to walk away before she could. Her entire adult life has been a lie, and in her entire adult life she would fit all of the characteristics of a controlling person.

Or let’s take “George” as another example. George is a compulsive liar. He lies about things that are unimportant to most people. He lies himself to a point  where he believes it. He can’t seem to let a day of his life go by without lying. George, is a neat freak. George forces his emotions on others in attempt to leave them feeling guilty. And George, he gets what he wants. If he doesn’t…. things get ugly.

These are just a few examples, but there is a definite link. I can think of many more people who I have encountered in my 30+ years that fit this description.

“Controlling people are the liars of the world and the liars of the world are controlling. Now…. if only they could control themselves.

Can you think of people you have encountered in life where this description matches up? It’s not to say they are all compulsive liars. However, in a life situation where they have told a lie; Did they display what would be considered controlling behavior, in another area of their life? Have you ever wondered exactly what it is controlling people want?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

6 thoughts on “Controlling people are the liars of the world, and the liars of the world are controlling

  1. Curly says:

    Yes!! You hit the nail on the spot, in my opinion. I’m married to a man with control issues – and lying is one of his primary forms of manipulation. I should have seen the read flags.

    Early in the relationship, he told me that during our evening together with a friend at a restaurant, I spent the meal checking out a couple of other guys at another table – he went so far as to say my friend felt uncomfortable by my behavior. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about – I was enjoying conversation with my man and a friend. My friend didn’t know what he was talking about either when I later asked him about it.

    He came home early one day and I innocently commented that he didn’t go to the gym as he said he was planning to early. I didn’t think anything of it. I’ve skipped the gym after work on many occasions. He later that evening accused me of contempuously nagging him about not going to the gym.

    I once asked him a question about his opinion on a topic of conversation we had had some time ago. He actually went so far as to deny his opinion and told me he said what I had actually said about the topic (he adopted my opinion as his own and denied ever having another opinion).

    I could go on and on. I spent time wondering if I was going a little crazy only to realize (very quickly) that he’s full of shit. And worse of all, when I’ve asked him about this behavior he’ll denies it even happened!!!

    So yes, you have a good point. In my opinion, lieing is tool for most people with some kind of personaility disorder or another.

    Good thoughts!

    Like

  2. Thank you very much, Im so glad you visited!

    Lying is a tool used by those that fear to face themselves. For those that choose a life of denial over a life of peace. We have all lied, but most learn the lesson. For some it becomes habit.

    For those of us that learn from our negative experiences, we realize it isn’t necessary. And for me personally, I have learned to never for a single second, doubt my instincts. They prompt us to question things for a reason. The liar calls us crazy, I call us intuitive!

    Like

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