fear of truth

Controlling people are the liars of the world, and the liars of the world are controlling

I found an interesting link this week between controlling behavior, and liars. I have observed this by thinking of people I have encountered in my life that fit either title.

The people I have come across that appear to have control issues, are liars. The only thing they can’t control other than themselves, are the lies that they tell.

The people who I think of that have issues lying, exhibit some form of controlling behavior in their daily life.

When I refer to controlling people, I am referring to those who :

Force their thoughts or feelings on you: Someone has wronged them, and they interfere with your relationship with that person, as if you were wronged by that person too.

Tell you how you feel, or should feel : You don’t Care, You have no emotions, You don’t like me, You don’t even want to go, You haven’t ever ___, You have to ____, You can’t ___, You are just going to ___, etc.

There’s OCD somewhere: In some area of their life, or in majority of areas there will be some version of obsessive compulsive disorder. Wether it is paranoia of germs, having to have everything immaculate, unable to wear un-ironed clothes, always at the doctor, somethings always  wrong, hoarding, etc.

When I look back at situations in my life where I have told a lie, telling the lie was about control. Better yet, it was about being in control. At that same junction;I showed signs of control in other areas. Whether it was being obsessive compulsive about dishes in my sink, or actually trying to force my viewpoints or opinions on someone else. Either way, at the same time that I was lying, there were signs of control. By lying, instead of being in control I had given it to someone else.

When I think of “Sally”, I think about how she went her entire life controlling people. Those she couldn’t control, she shoved away. Or they would be smart enough to walk away before she could. Her entire adult life has been a lie, and in her entire adult life she would fit all of the characteristics of a controlling person.

Or let’s take “George” as another example. George is a compulsive liar. He lies about things that are unimportant to most people. He lies himself to a point  where he believes it. He can’t seem to let a day of his life go by without lying. George, is a neat freak. George forces his emotions on others in attempt to leave them feeling guilty. And George, he gets what he wants. If he doesn’t…. things get ugly.

These are just a few examples, but there is a definite link. I can think of many more people who I have encountered in my 30+ years that fit this description.

“Controlling people are the liars of the world and the liars of the world are controlling. Now…. if only they could control themselves.

Can you think of people you have encountered in life where this description matches up? It’s not to say they are all compulsive liars. However, in a life situation where they have told a lie; Did they display what would be considered controlling behavior, in another area of their life? Have you ever wondered exactly what it is controlling people want?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Projecting The Truth, Why Is It Feared?

I had a phone conversation this morning, and was asked to keep silent. To not project the truth. To not speak of events in my life that have occurred. When the reality is, it is my life. I lived it. I have every right to talk about it, sing about it, dance about it, or even write about it. That’s what people do, and for me, it’s survival. It is my outlet. I was taught as a child to express emotions creatively while in counseling, and that was probably one of the best things from childhood, that is still with me today. A creative outlet. For me, healing comes from talking it out, painting it out, singing it out, playing it out(piano), or writing it out. That is who I am.

What I can’t understand, is why people fear the truth so much. Why do people feel better sweeping things under rugs, verses facing them head on? I learned long ago, not to have secrets. And unfortunately despite having learned that lesson in my late teenage years, I still battled with it at the tail end of my marriage, but kept nothing completely inside. At times, I would be accused of having secrets, but they weren’t secrets, I told people about them. It was only a secret because I didn’t tell the one that deserved to be told.

In my life, there have been strained relationships because my honesty, and my blunt nature. It is more than some can handle. Some prefer to deny the truth. They refuse to accept that things are different than they appear. They would rather lie and manipulate people. They portray that their life is filled with sunshine, butterflies, flowers, and all the happy things instead of facing the truth, and accepting life for what it is. Yet they wonder, why their life is so miserable.

Those that fear the truth, and choose to live a life filled with secrets, despise me for this personality trait of mine. Meanwhile, I embrace it. It is what gives me peace. It gives me strength. Truth, consumes me. And I will dig, until it is revealed. A few will hate me for it, but many will respect it. Believe it or not, it is an honorable trait to have.

Perhaps this is what my purpose in life is. For I was once, a secret. The bastard child. The mistake. The outcast. The one on the outside, looking in. And just maybe, the fact that I entered this life a secret, is the exact reason I will leave it, with not a one. Perhaps, this is God’s plan for my life.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.