I found an interesting link this week between controlling behavior, and liars. I have observed this by thinking of people I have encountered in my life that fit either title.
The people I have come across that appear to have control issues, are liars. The only thing they can’t control other than themselves, are the lies that they tell.
The people who I think of that have issues lying, exhibit some form of controlling behavior in their daily life.
When I refer to controlling people, I am referring to those who :
Force their thoughts or feelings on you: Someone has wronged them, and they interfere with your relationship with that person, as if you were wronged by that person too.
Tell you how you feel, or should feel : You don’t Care, You have no emotions, You don’t like me, You don’t even want to go, You haven’t ever ___, You have to ____, You can’t ___, You are just going to ___, etc.
There’s OCD somewhere: In some area of their life, or in majority of areas there will be some version of obsessive compulsive disorder. Wether it is paranoia of germs, having to have everything immaculate, unable to wear un-ironed clothes, always at the doctor, somethings always wrong, hoarding, etc.
When I look back at situations in my life where I have told a lie, telling the lie was about control. Better yet, it was about being in control. At that same junction;I showed signs of control in other areas. Whether it was being obsessive compulsive about dishes in my sink, or actually trying to force my viewpoints or opinions on someone else. Either way, at the same time that I was lying, there were signs of control. By lying, instead of being in control I had given it to someone else.
When I think of “Sally”, I think about how she went her entire life controlling people. Those she couldn’t control, she shoved away. Or they would be smart enough to walk away before she could. Her entire adult life has been a lie, and in her entire adult life she would fit all of the characteristics of a controlling person.
Or let’s take “George” as another example. George is a compulsive liar. He lies about things that are unimportant to most people. He lies himself to a point where he believes it. He can’t seem to let a day of his life go by without lying. George, is a neat freak. George forces his emotions on others in attempt to leave them feeling guilty. And George, he gets what he wants. If he doesn’t…. things get ugly.
These are just a few examples, but there is a definite link. I can think of many more people who I have encountered in my 30+ years that fit this description.
“Controlling people are the liars of the world and the liars of the world are controlling. Now…. if only they could control themselves.
Can you think of people you have encountered in life where this description matches up? It’s not to say they are all compulsive liars. However, in a life situation where they have told a lie; Did they display what would be considered controlling behavior, in another area of their life? Have you ever wondered exactly what it is controlling people want?
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