© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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Sick Of Feeling Crappy? Here Are Five Rules To Finding Happy!
I have had several friends say they are not happy and that they do not know how to find happiness. I do not in any way shape or form profess to be the happiness coach, nor do I have all the cures for finding your own happiness; however, I would like to share to a few things I have learned over my own years of searching for happiness.
RULE# 1
For years I went back to a relationship thinking I could not be “happy” without him or the relationship. I could not be alone. I went back trying to love and be loved, however I was only putting myself through a personal hell.
I let the relationship define me and my reason for being.
After my divorce I found that I didn’t even know who “I” was. I had been too busy trying to find happiness in someone else, that I had lost myself. I had to rediscover and find who I was.
RULE# 2
A year later I realized that my unhappiness wasn’t because of the lack of having someone in my life. I had to find happiness within, because if I was not happy now how was I ever going to he be happy in a relationship?
RULE# 3
Letting someone else be your source of happiness is self-destructive. You have to learn to like, love and respect yourself before anyone else.
Question:
How long do you find yourself happy when you allow your happiness to be driven by another person? A couple of weeks or months, and then what?
Then you believe this person must not be the “one” because they no longer make “you” happy….. when in reality you set this relationship up to fail because you were searching for someone/anyone to fulfill your void.
We have all been taught that to love someone is to sacrifice yourself for their happiness and in return we expect them to do the same for us. However, by sacrificing our happiness we are only becoming miserable. We alone are responsible for our happiness.
RULE# 4
Start by making yourself the priority and no-one else. Find yourself, and enjoy being you.
Now this doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone out of your life, but that you should allow yourself to be the priority.
RULE# 5
The only person you cannot live without and have unconditional love for is YOU! Everyone else is a bonus. Once you start to love yourself and instead of leaving your happiness dependent upon others, the right people will fall into place.
Written By: Aliceson Troute Carver
Impossible and Possible
We can’t ever change who a person is. That has to come from within them. We can however change our circle of people, so that we have a better fit when it comes to the company we keep.
If personalities clash and you are finding yourself frustrated around a person more than you find yourself full of joy and happiness – it is an easy fix. Instead of trying to mold and change the individual, change where you are spending your time instead. After that, everything will start falling into place.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Spring Cleaning
Every spring we feel an urge to clean our physical world, particularly the interior and exterior of our homes. From spot free windows to clean closets and drawers, the annual spring cleaning inspires many. The end result of the cleaning, suddenly our homes feel light and airy again. Overall, life feels better when we are done.
Perhaps every year as we remove boxes of clutter from our lives, we should remove it from our spiritual self as well. As we wash the windows in our homes, we should wash the windows of our soul. Maybe they are no longer spot free, and that is why we are having a hard time seeing what is outside.
Whatever your case may be, it is important to tidy up our insides just as much as we tidy up what is outside. With all areas clean and organized we find a nice balance. Everything becomes manageable, and anything seems possible.
“As the birds sing each morning, you will find yourself singing too.
Now let’s move along my friend, we have some cleaning to do!”
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
10 Reasons Why A Dog Is Better Than A Mate
Claiming Our Past
“If we don’t claim our past it will claim our future. It is not possible to know where we are going, if we can’t admit the places we have been.”
I have seen countless situations where people deny their past. They deny what they have done, or what has been done to them. They deny their experiences. Their fear of admitting mistakes or failures enables them to continue in their negative cycle. Simply put, it cripples them and they can not grow as a person. Instead they keep making the same mistakes, again and again.
By denying our past experiences we set ourselves up to fail. If we can’t admit where we have been or screwed up in life, how could we even begin to correct it? By hiding it or denying the experiences we are merely doing a patch job. As we know, patches only hold so long.
By laying it all out there and owning every experience: nobody has anything over us. We can walk in peace, with no secrets. We live in light instead of darkness.
There is nobody worth keeping secrets. We are worth more than that. By owning our past and our experiences we begin to walk in truth. We can then break the negative cycles and patterns; and begin to experience peace and happiness.
We have to own our experiences, and learn from them. It is the only way to level up in the game of life. If we can’t admit them, how can we ever truly recognize what needs changed?
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
ABC’s of Life Series — Day 9 Letter I : Instincts Are There To Guide Us
Day 9 Letter I
Our Instincts Are There To Guide Us
Instincts are the bodies’ natural way of helping us avoid harmful situations. These harmful situations could be anything that hurt or destroy our mind, body, or spirit.
Our instincts or intuition can be used to help us lead more fulfilling lives, and help keep us aware of what is going on around us. Instincts are the bodies natural compass to navigate through life and keep ourselves protected.
Some people refer to instincts as that little voice inside of them. Other people may refer to it as “getting vibes”. Some people may call it God’s voice, and some just simply call it listening to their gut.
Whatever one decides to call it, intuition is something that we are all capable of tapping into. It is something we can likely recall from a young age, and a gift that we are all born with.
I believe that our instincts become stronger the more in tune we become with ourselves. I have also noticed that once we decide to live a calm life in pursuit of happiness; intuition appears to become stronger. It becomes louder, and easier to hear.
As we age we tend to learn from all those times in life where we said : ”Something told me not to go, that could have been me.” Or perhaps we have said something such as “Something told me to wait so a waited, and thank goodness I did.”
Another example we could probably all relate to at a younger age: Have you ever taken a test and then changed your original answer? While reviewing the scored test, did you see that your original answer was correct? That was your natural gut instinct, and the majority of the time it is correct.
There are many situations where intuition has allowed us to question our surroundings. Intuition removes us from bad situations, and often opens the doors for many opportunities. Listening to it can save our lives, not listening can destroy them.
For Today: Go to a quiet place and relax. Reflect upon a current life situation that is troubling you and tune into your instincts. What was your initial reaction to the situation? Was there something in the beginning that warned you of this problem you now face? Did instincts guide you around parts of the situation then get ignored at other points?
Take today to be lost in your thoughts for a bit. It is a great day to tune in. © Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
ABC’s of Life Series – Day 4 Letter D : Dreaming Is A Must
Day 4, Letter D
Dreaming Is A Must
We all are born to dream. Sometimes we just have a hard time believing in our dreams enough to follow through. We get stuck in these ruts of being comfortable, and find ourselves afraid to take a risk. However, we need to take a risk; to achieve a gain.
This world has developed due to people’s dreams and their determination to make those dreams a reality. Because someone dared to dream, we now communicate in this world faster than ever before. We build luxurious homes, we dine at the finest restaurants, and we wear some of the most lavish clothing.
Because someone dared to dream we have cures for diseases. Infants can live prematurely for weeks ahead of schedule and still survive. We are living longer, and for the most part we are healthier too.
Thank goodness people in this world have dreams. I am grateful that no matter how many times people were told it could not be done, someone made it a point to do it anyway. They followed their heart, and they succeeded.
Dreams keep us alive and give us something to look forward to. Dreams advance the world and grant opportunities like never before. Dreams, are a key to happiness. Fulfilling them is when happiness has nearly been mastered.
“Not only must we take time to dream, but we must make the time for our dreams to come true.”
What is your dream? Are you ready to make it happen? It can be done ….
Day 5 Letter E: Exercise Your Freedom Of Speech
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
ABC’s of Life Series — Day 2 Letter B : Be Careful Who You Trust
ABC’s of Life Series
Day 2, Letter B
Be Careful Who You Trust
When we read be careful who you trust in the ABC’s of Life poem it applies to relationships and life in general. It is the mechanic, the salesman, the doctor, the lawyer, the friends, the family, and whatever else you want to insert into that blank. It also includes trusting ourselves.
We are all guilty of thinking we believe or feel a certain way about something. Until of course we get to be tested and placed into the actual situation. We assume that because we have never believed in it or that we were taught not to do it; that we never will. This is where we mislead ourselves. It is an example of where we have trusted ourselves too much.
We put our trust in the hands of others until given reason not to. We trust ourselves to navigate our lives until we hit the rocks. We go through lesson after lesson to discover the same results; God is the only one we can trust.
There are a lot of people who do not believe in Him, and that is their choice. It saddens me to think that cultures and religions have caused the thought of us all having a “maker” to be repulsive for some. Unfortunately, that is just how it is.
I can say for certain that no matter how dark the days, how heavy the load, or how long the travels; He was right beside me. I don’t read my bible every day. I do not attend church regularly. However, I still believe. I still talk to Him, and He still hears me. Believe it or not, He answers my prayers too! It may not always be in the ways one would expect, but they will always get answered. We just have to put our trust in Him.
He hears me when I’m smoking a cigarette and He would hear me if I drank a beer. He accepts me, and I trust Him. Perhaps we should all trust Him a little more?
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
Shared Parenting With A Controlling Parent
The following question has been asked by a reader:
What is shared parenting like when one parent is already controlling?
What most people do not realize; is that when they go to leave a controlling person the control does not stop there. Especially in regards to a divorce with minor children. Often the children are used as pawns. They are bribed, manipulated, and in some cases completely brainwashed.
In today’s court systems; shared parenting seems to be the most common agreement reached in regards to custody. In some cases, it should be named shared chaos. I don’t find these agreements to be appropriate in cases where there have been control issues. It is only setting up the stage for a show that the children will never forget. “If the two parents couldn’t agree and cooperate married, odds are they never will. There will always be hiccups.”
The controlling person may not show up when they say to pick up or return the children. He/She may not return their child’s calls. And often times, he/she uses mind games with the children to get his/her digs in on you. It is a sick game that they play, and often feels to those being controlled as though they are imprisoned. They got away from the environment, and away from the person. Yet still today, that person manages to control them with the children they share.
Examples of control issues post decree:
You have planned a day with the children. The other parent is fully aware. He/she decides you can’t have the kids that day at the last-minute. Now he/she is in control again.
He/she knows that you have a busy day. It is his/her day with the children. Suddenly you get a call from your child/children asking if you can keep them on the other parents parenting time. Of course, you say yes. But then find yourself wondering how you will ever get everything done now, who will babysit, etc. The controlling person has just caused you to get worked up, and he/she wins!
He/She tells the children things such as : “NO, you can’t go see your mom/dad it is MY week!” Or better yet,” NO, you can’t call your mom/dad!” I have read in countless books that this is the absolute worst thing for any parent to do. Interfering with their relationship with the other parent will cause deep seeded issues. They need to figure out who is who, themselves. Nine times out of ten the child as an adult will resent the parent that interfered.
When a person has issues with control and their partner walks away; they begin to lose control themselves. The children this now divorced couple share are the controlling person’s only way left to control their former partner. Whether it be mind games with the kids or you; the control does not typically stop just by filing for a divorce and divorcing.
In time the intensity of the control may cease but time is the key factor. It is usually when the children are grown and have finally find their voice to speak up for themselves. This typically does not bring favorable results for the parent with control issues. SO meanwhile, just bite your tongue whenever necessary and bide your time.
Until a controlling person discovers who they are and solve the issues that turned them into a controlling person in the first place; things will be as they have always been. Stressful and overbearing.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
The Empoweror 