guiding

ABC’s of Life Series — Day 9 Letter I : Instincts Are There To Guide Us

ABC’s of Life

Day 9   Letter I

Our Instincts Are There To Guide Us

Instincts are the bodies’ natural way of helping us avoid harmful situations. These harmful situations could be anything that hurt or destroy our mind, body, or spirit.

Our instincts or intuition can be used to help us lead more fulfilling lives, and help keep us aware of what is going on around us. Instincts are the bodies natural compass to navigate through life and keep ourselves protected.

Some people refer to instincts as that little voice inside of them. Other people may refer to it as “getting vibes”. Some people may call it God’s voice, and some just simply call it listening to their gut.

Whatever one decides to call it, intuition is something that we are all capable of tapping into. It is something we can likely recall from a young age, and a gift that we are all born with.

I believe that our instincts become stronger the more in tune we become with ourselves. I have also noticed that once we decide to live a calm life in pursuit of happiness; intuition appears to become stronger. It  becomes louder, and easier to hear.

As we age we tend to learn from all those times in life where we said : ”Something told me not to go, that could have been me.” Or perhaps we have said something such as “Something told me to wait so a waited, and thank goodness I did.”

Another example we could probably all relate to at a younger age: Have you ever taken a test and then changed your original answer? While reviewing the scored test, did you see that your original answer was correct? That was your natural gut instinct, and the majority of the time it is correct.

There are many situations where intuition has allowed us to question our surroundings. Intuition removes us from bad situations, and often opens the doors for many opportunities. Listening to it can save our lives, not listening can destroy them.

For Today: Go to a quiet place and relax. Reflect upon a current life situation that is troubling you and tune into your instincts. What was your initial reaction to the situation? Was there something in the beginning that warned you of this problem you now face? Did instincts guide you around parts of the situation then get ignored at other points?

Take today to be lost in your thoughts for a bit. It is a great day to tune in.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 © Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.  

Are You Leaving a Legacy, Or a Liability?

As parents we all want what is best for our children. However, what some parents fail to realize in terms of co-dependent children is that they are no longer leaving a legacy, but yet, a liability.

By leaving a legacy one must raise self-sufficient children. They should be children capable of making their own wise and practical decisions upon adulthood. They should be children who feel compelled to do more with their life than the previous generation. And most importantly, they should be emotionally healthy children who feel they can be who they are, not who we imagined or wanted them to be.

Examples:

Just because we have run the family business, doesn’t mean we should expect our children to take over someday. They will likely have plans of their own.

Just because we played a particular sport and excelled, doesn’t mean we should force our children to play it if they have no interest.

Just because they dream the impossible, doesn’t mean we should squash their dreams.

Our job is to encourage their successes, and help guide them when they encounter failure. It is to teach them how to handle their own relationships vs., being a dictator for their relationships. Our job is tough, but to raise healthy children with the ability to maintain healthy adult relationships, we must push them to do well. We must teach them to put forth effort. We must help them learn to look at the big picture.

Signs of leaving a liability:

The adult child comes to you for every one of life’s hurdles.

The adult child now expects the parent to take care of financial responsibilities.

The adult child now expects parents to bail them out.

The adult child now has no insight.

The adult child now has dependency issues aside from their relationship with their parents. Most likely chemical dependencies.

The adult child is now angry.

The adult child, will then likely leave another liability for their children. And the trend continues. However, there are ways to avoid leaving a liability. And there are proven ways to leave a legacy. Proven ways to leave a legacy are as follows:

Encourage and comfort your children.

Listen to their feelings and respect that they have their own minds, and opinions.

Do not try to control who they are, better yet guide them to where they should be.

Allow them to suffer consequences of their actions. They need tough love. They have their own friends to be best friends with.

And most importantly, practice what you preach. Be a good role model.

I once heard a saying from a parent that said : Well I guess if I was your best friend, and you loved me all the time; then I wouldn’t be a very good parent. And I agree with that statement. There will be times our children do not agree with our decisions in parenting. There will be times they do not understand our reasoning and we find ourselves saying what we once heard: Someday you will understand….when you have kids of your own.

These days I see more parents trying to be best buddies with their kids. They are there to rescue them from situations the kids/adult children put themselves into. Rather than showing tough love so lessons can be learned, they throw them preserver after preserver.

Tough love is absolutely the hardest step for people to take in any forms of relationships. But without it, we leave a liability. We should be leaving a legacy instead. We should be allowing our children to live their own life, and a life that they are proud of. An honest life, and a life with an abundance of good people with direction.

Are you leaving a legacy or a liability? Are you teaching bad habits? Or are you setting a good example instead? The quote that children learn what they live, has much insight. What are your children learning from you?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.