way

The Best Way To Confront Another Person

There are three T’s to having a good approach when communicating with others. It is important that we remain focused on the following these three T’s; in order to achieve good results when we have a conflict that needs addressed with another individual in our life.

Two People – Approach the person when they are alone and you are alone.  There is no need for either side to feel attacked. When more people are involved the conversation loses focus and nothing really gets resolved. If it is our issue that we have with another individual we must fight our battle alone. Pow wows, are unnecessary.

Tone – If you feel heated do not approach the other person face to face. Your facial expressions, tones, and mannerisms could be seen as negative and one may feel attacked. The fight or flight process begins to occur and the other person may become confused and unfocused.

Sometimes a phone call or email will achieve better results. When responding to an issue by writing out our thoughts, the brain takes more time to process the information which in turn allows us to think before we speak.

Time & Place – There is a time and a place to approach someone when addressing an issue you have with them. Social gatherings and functions are not an ideal place. Trying to resolve it inside the workplace may not always be the best place either.

If you know you will be bumping into the person, try to resolve the issue beforehand.  This helps both people avoid public conflicts that end up affecting others who were present. It also aids in avoiding embarrassment in cases where we may approach someone without having had all of the facts first.

By following the above three T’s to a proper approach when confronting another person, we are bound to communicate both properly and wisely. Life is too short to stew over issues for days without resolving. 

We will all have issues and problems, it’s all about how we handle them.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited

Leaving An Abusive Relationship: Where To Go

There are many resources available to both men and women who are trying to leave an abusive partner or relationship. Many are unaware of these resources. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Life is too short to live in negativity. There is a way to free yourself.

Every state in the United states has abuse shelters in counties throughout the state. If you are in fear of your life and hiding from an abuser there are even underground shelters. These are shelters that aren’t talked about openly. But by choosing an underground shelter your safety is pretty much guaranteed. Nobody will find you at an underground shelter.

Some shelters look like homes, and are disguised by their appearance alone. These are safe havens for victims of abuse, and these shelters will help you get on your feet. Many people hear the word shelter and they picture multiple bunks or cots as we have seen in the movies and on television. This is hardly the case. These shelters are often nice places. Although some may be lacking in amenities, not all of them do.

Each shelter has different rules, and accommodations. Do some homework to find out which shelter will meet your families needs the best. Most have a community living area and each person has their own private room and bathroom. In most shelters these rooms are locked and only the one rooming in there has a key. A shelter that offers privacy such as this, is ideal.

Once you are in the shelter your basic needs are met. The staff will provide you with numerous resources such as child care, employment, food, toiletries, etc. They will also provide you with clothing, vouchers for things in the community such as Y.M.C.A, movies, etc. These resources vary from shelter to shelter. The length of stay also varies from shelter to shelter, however I have seen many shelters that will allow the victim(s) to stay for up to 3 months.

Shelters will keep you and  your children safe, and are a definite way to stop/end abuse. They are secure, and will provide you will attorneys if necessary. Most of the workers are volunteers and understanding. They too were once a victim.

By retreating to a domestic violence shelter, you take the first step in reclaiming your life.

There is hope!  Life begins when the abuse ends.