Are You Having Trouble Understanding Someone?

Struggling to understand peopleWhen we watch the news or read the paper we may find ourselves asking: “What in the heck were they thinking?”  Or we read or hear countless stories of people inflicting pain upon themselves and others and wonder “Why on earth would they do that?”  And of course after even the slightest exposure to world news we hear or state: “What in the hell is wrong with people?!!!!”

We spend a lot of time worrying, wondering, questioning, and trying to understand people. We wonder how, why, and what pulled the trigger that took them to the dark side. Perhaps it is time to stop trying to understand everyone that we meet. Sometimes we are not suppose to figure them out. There are some things we are not suppose to understand.

Just because we encounter something does not mean that it is our battle to fight.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are Any Of These Four Things Stealing Your Time?

I have never met anyone in my life who gives preference to or who truly enjoys the company of a thief. They simply are not trustworthy. But here is the twist; thieves are not always people. Sometimes they are just “things” but these things are here to take something precious. They want our time.

These four “things”  I have listed below may attempt to steal our time but we can determine their success and failure rate in pulling off the heist.

In effort to make these four things stealing our time a little bit easier to remember long after you are done reading I have listed them so that they spell out the word PATH.

(Pretty simple, eh? I thought so too.)

image

  • Playing victim will never get us anywhere for the simple fact that we are only the victim of something the first time that it happens to us. After that we begin to shed our own blood with our own hands. Replaying it in our minds countless times is pointless. By holding on to the past and playing victim we begin to have our time stolen. It is best to let go of whatever it is if our time truly matters to us.
  • Addictions steal the addicts time and life. They will steal both the time and life of the people who love(d) the addict. And as we all know, addiction will also steal an innocent persons time and life.

Addiction can, will, and does strike any class of people in any society or culture across the globe. Addiction will never discriminate. It attacks fragile humans tirelessly like the revolting beast that it is. 

Addiction does not have to be drugs or alcohol which is what most of us picture when we hear the word. It could be anything. An addiction could be food, soda, cigarettes, gossiping, compulsive shopping, lying, sex, pornography or anything else one could fill the blank in with. (With shows like “My Strange Addiction” and some of the other programs on television these days, this area of addiction no longer has a border. Anything goes it seems.) 

  • Toxic people will not only steal our time but their negative energy falls upon us like an ominous cloud on a sunny day. That negative energy electrocutes us then spreads through our bodies and rolls out of our mouths. Our wonderful mood vanishes so swiftly and before we know it we are stewing over things that we have zero control over. Better yet, we begin stewing over things that we normally would not make note of at all. 

In order to protect our time and preserve our own life we have to maintain a sure and clear distance from people who are toxic. If there is no distance then they will continuously monopolize our time. (Please note that this does not mean we have to fully cut people off. In fact, we need their numbers in our phones so we know when not to answer.)

Toxic people will feast on us for as long as we grant them permission to. We just need to say “No thanks, not today!” when they bring it to us. About the same response one would have with a salesman stopping us in the kiosk area of a mall, or a telemarketer calling us on the phone. “Ohhhh, well I am not interested…. but thank you!” speaks volumes. And sometimes it will need said several times before you are heard.

The trick is to not feed into it. By not feeding into it, eventually they will get bored with us and find another victim. In fact they have to do that! For they are the energy vampires. (muahahahaha – insert evil vampire laugh here___)

  • Harbored Wrongs are absolutely one of the biggest time thieves. We have seen people in their 60’s to 80’s still holding on to things from decades ago. We’ve seen people hold on to things someone did twenty years ago in high school. We have seen people hold on to pains of their ancestors throughout history. The list is endless for this one. But the fact is, a harbored wrong does us no good. It allows bitterness to take root and our heart then becomes a hard blob of rubber cement. It serves us no purpose and there is absolutely no benefit in holding on to the negativity.

Harbored wrongs are often the root of addiction. They are the root to becoming a toxic person. And it is almost impossible to harbor a wrong and not be found at some point or another playing victim.

These four things mentioned were stealing valuable time from millions of people as I typed this. These four things (alone or combined) are stealing from others as you read this. And they will still be stealing from people next week at this time or even next year.

Are any of these things stealing from you?

Time is too precious! Life is too precious! And we only get one shot at both!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Butterflies and Goodbyes

image

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

27 Fun Things Seen At Schools In The 1980s

As a tribute to the upcoming school year I thought that we should take a trip down memory lane. As a result, I have rounded up several fun items which would remind any child of the 1980’s of the things that they would see at school. If you were a cool 80’s kid then you will probably remember seeing these things at school too.

boys bike

The cool kids got to ride to school in style. Most of us had to walk. At least in my small town that’s how it was.

eastlands

Whether you walked or rode to school these Eastland shoes would line the hallways every day.

reebok

Or there were these popular colored Reebok high-tops!

vintage nintendo backback mario 1980s

Many young boys would tote a Mario bag in route to school to hang on their hook in the classroom.

vintage smurf backback 1980s school

This Smurf messenger bag is one of my personal favorites from the early 1980’s!

1980s charm necklace

These necklaces filled with charms were quite a hit! You could hear kids jingling through the halls as they walked and they were quite popular for trading. 

chinese jumprope

When it came to recess…. if kids weren’t  found playing football, dodge-ball, red-rover, or kickball they would be seen playing Chinese jump rope. And of course there was still an option for break dancing or double-dutch. 

sammy sosa card

The cool boys would have baseball or football cards to trade with one another while the girls were busy trading their charms for their necklaces.

1980s snap bracelets

These snap bracelets were a hit alright. You could legally hit your classmates with them. The trick was to see who got the biggest welt.

glitter bracelets

These water filled glitter bracelets were also pretty popular. Although it was short-lived. I remember them being recalled because some kid thought it would be great to drink the contents. Soon after they were discontinued and jelly bracelets began rising back up the charts in sales.

coca cola shirt

It seemed as though everyone had a shirt from coke. On second thought, Hard Rock Cafe attire was pretty popular too.

jelly purse 1980s

Young ladies would carry these handbags in the early to mid 1980’s. We called them jelly purses, but there was nothing jelly about them. They were however a must have accessory and one of my absolute favorites.

push pencils

color pens

Hello….. Cool pens and pencils! It was a tragedy if you lost one of the little lead pieces. And the pens usually broke from multiple attempts to make all of the colors write at once. 

??????????????????????????????????????

No matter how cool your pencils were, for tests and such everyone sharpened with this style of sharpener. They were commonly hanging near the blackboards.
school box 1980s

To hold those pens and pencils was this widely seen pencil box. The second most popular boxes used for pencils and such were empty cigar boxes! They were sturdy and they lasted the whole school year! 

crayola crayons 1980s

The rich kids got to get the boxes of crayons with the built-in sharpeners on the side. The rest of us carried these. We were basically were given a consolation prize… the plastic container. But since they were not rose art we were still in the cool club.

1980s vintage trapper keeper

Long gone are the days of these awesome Trapper Keepers! Some schools would sell them in the front office. They also sold tablets of paper and pencils you could buy from a machine. Printed pencils became quite popular.

1980s calculator

Most students had one of these around. I am not certain why because we weren’t allowed to use them. We actually had to know how to do things. On paper.

typewriter

This was our computer!

projector

Before VHS players became affordable this is how we watched movies.

desk

The desks were great for storage! They made it difficult to cheat off of a classmate on tests. It was also tricky to sneak in them because they had worn hinges that needed oiled. So if you were not supposed to be in your desk, you had better keep it shut.

scented markers

These scented markers were loved by many! But there is some bad news about them. They were often used to catch a little buzz when sniffing the scents for too long.

These markers in the picture and the rubber cement we used in class were America’s true gateway drugs. It began in elementary school in the 1980’s and has been a highly guarded secret.

lunch boxes

After the rubber cement and marker buzzes wore off children would assemble themselves for lunch. Those kids who packed a lunch often came to school with these awesome lunch boxes!

lunch tray

Even the kids who packed their lunch would choose to buy the school food on pizza day. It was a day many looked forward to on the school lunch calendar. 

paddle

Back in those days, if you misbehaved in any way or disrespected your peers, elders, etc. then your name went on the wall of shame. The principal was called, the paddle was presented, and your hands went on the wall. Needless to say, it didn’t happen often.

vintage chalk holder

After being paddled or disciplined one could expect to be writing their apologies on the chalkboard repeatedly for the entire class to read. They would be writing at recess, or perhaps after school. (And they were not allowed to use this chalk holder!)

I could continue this list for quite some time. Aside from the last two items, the rest remind me of fun times at school in the 1980’s. The only fun part about the last two I mentioned, was if you were watching it happen to someone other than yourself.

What fun things do you remember about going to school in the 1980’s?

Who Is Your God Given Mirror?

I wrote a poem years ago in regards to people and mirrors. The flow of it was there and it just slipped from my brain to my finger tips in seconds. The words have never left me since the day it was written. It is a simple reminder to myself and others struggling to understand people in general.

mirror

God Given Mirror

I asked God for a mirror,

and He decided to give me you.

He said If I don’t like what I see,

then perhaps I have done it too.

He told me to cast no judgement,

on others when they are weak.

And that if I had nothing nice to say,

there shall be no need to speak.

He told me that you were my mirror,

what I dislike in you needs changed within me.

Because we are all one another’s mirrors

and our own worst enemy.

There is a lot of truth to what is said in this poem for the simple fact that “what we do not like in others is usually something that we do not like about ourselves”.

It may seem hard to believe it at first, but not if you really think in depth about it.

When we do not like someone…. it is because they either do something we use to do ourselves and we have attached negative feelings towards that action, or they do something we have suppressed and kept ourselves from doing.

 © Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Makes You Beautiful?

imageAs my girls began puberty in our fast paced (predominately vain) and materialistic society, the words pretty and beautiful became more and more common in their vocabulary.

At one point my youngest daughter pointed out all of the people who were pretty every time we watched something or went somewhere. (OOO she’s pretty. She’s pretty. Mom, do you think she is pretty? Now she is just beautiful! Seriously, I thought the phase would never end. lol)

Most of their thoughts on beauty stemmed from what they would see on television or in books and magazines. It is what they (and their friends) saw when looking at their favorite celebrities. 

One Saturday morning the girls were talking about celebrities whom they thought were beautiful. Shortly after joining in on the conversation I decided to have a talk with my friend google. I began asking the girls which famous people they thought were the prettiest and proceeded to ask my friend google what those people looked with no make-up. (This was all in effort to teach these ladies about beauty and confidence. Next appeared thousands of images. And a bit of laughing.)

The girls were astonished.  image

(It was the day they realized that celebrities are human. That they put their pants on like the rest of us do. And that even they get pimples! )

Once they saw the first picture we spent well over the next hour or two of our morning calling out names and pulling up images. They could not believe how normal these people looked without their make-up. Images without all of the lights of Hollywood. (And of course without a lot of Photoshop.)

They looked like people you would see on the street. Our neighbors. Or like people at the park or the county fair. They were simply normal every day looking people.

The only celebrity we couldn’t find without make-up amidst our search was none other than Dolly Parton. Now we all know if a photographer gets a photo of that then it will be worth a bundle. I exhausted myself searching. And if anyone knows of one please send it to me. It’s merely principle at this point.

I have always defined beauty as something that comes from within. What we see on the outside fades in time. And anyone with a great deal of money can maintain their exterior shell to appear pretty or beautiful.

Now granted, one can gain plenty of confidence with surgeries, top hair designers, the best of clothes, a good photographer and of course a little Photoshop. But that kind of confidence is temporary. You may feel better in that moment but you won’t necessarily feel better in the end. Beauty comes from within.

imageThe most beautiful people in the world to me …..are those who have confidence. Those people whose moods are not altered or disturbed by what others think of them. They are happy. They carry their head held high and walk with a little pride in their step. There is an aura around them that attracts people to them. 

Beautiful is being proud of who you are and being comfortable in your own skin. 

Beautiful is keeping your held held high. A smile on your face. And joy in your heart. 

Beautiful is so many things to so many different people. Regardless, it is who you are and how you carry yourself that makes you beautiful. Beauty has nothing to do with what you look like on the outside.

Be confident. Be beautiful. And be you.

Beauty….. it truly is just another word for confidence.

Respect

respectThere will always be those people in the world that no matter what we do or how hard we try, we will never have their respect. And that is okay. It is out of our control. We can not force someone to respect us.

Instead, we should only worry about what we can control and that is whether or not we allow others to disrespect us. (We are in charge here! We decide our worth. Hooray!)

No matter who you are, you do not deserve to be disrespected. Period. It does not matter who it is. We never have to agree with someone to be respectful and show compassion. And if we aren’t getting those…… it is up to us to change that. Only we can.

We set the bar for what we are worth. If we aren’t getting the respect and love we deserve then perhaps it is time to change our price-tag. There is no need to mark ourselves down to a close out price. We are worth more than that.

Humility And Wisdom The Best Of Friends

image

I wrote a piece a few years ago in regards to humility and wisdom going hand in hand. And boy do they ever if you think about it. I mean, they are in deed the best of friends. You can’t have a little bit or a lot of one….without having the other show up. They are just inseparable. (And the two of them together can cause quite a fuss!)

In life we will have experiences that humiliate us. Friends may humiliate us. Co-workers may humiliate us. Family may humiliate us. All in all…. people will humiliate us. ( And if they don’t we may just find some time to humiliate ourselves.😂)

We must remember however that it is only humiliation when there is truth to it. Otherwise it is just a rumor folks. And nobody gives a crap about rumors. Rumors are laughed at, blown off, and just flat out ignored. (By intelligent people they are anyway.)

When truth humiliates us we are given wisdom. After that it is up to us  what we do with it. We can take that wisdom in and use it to benefit us and the situation, or we can reject it all together. 

When we reject the wisdom we choose to continue on the same path and stay in the same place of ignorance. It is simply a preference to keep making the same mistakes.

What we should really do, is use the wisdom to change the situation. That in turn breaks the cycle, and that is the only way to truly move forward.

Do You Use People Like I Do?

using people

I have been thinking a lot about people using people. Whether it be to get ahead, gain information, or reap some sort of benefit it happens all of the time.

There is only one acceptable time to use someone and that is when we use them for inspiration. We should use people daily for this, and we should use people from all walks of life.

Every day I find inspiration through sharing stories with or by interacting with people. Sometimes it is something funny the kids do. It could be the cashier at a grocery store. It could be something pleasant or thought provoking and it could also be by something completely irritating. Regardless, I find it.

So, there you have it, I can now admit that I use people all the time. I never know who it will be or what word will pull the trigger, but when I see it or I hear it I tuck it away for later use. And when I get hungry, I chew on it and then I spit it out. 

Do you use people the way I do?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.