ABCs of Life; Day 1, Letter A – Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It has been requested by a reader that I expand on my ABC’s of life poem. They felt a need to read more on each topic and I felt the idea was borderline genius. For the next several days (26 to be exact) I will begin to develop each line into thoughts for each day. Hopefully by the time we get to Z, we will all have more insight on life.

Day 1 Letter A

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Both words and actions have two faces. Whether they are in a positive or negative fashion, our words and actions will leave a mark somewhere.  They will have an impact and bring about change. They will build and they will destroy.   

I put the phrase “actions speak louder than words in the poem ABC’s of Life and thought particularly of my ex-husband at the time that I wrote this line.  It is a series of words I have heard him say countless times over the years and something that I didn’t fully comprehend; until I was in my thirties. But now I can admit it, he was right. Actions speak louder than words.

I believe we put so much stock into words because religions teach us all that we are judgmental when we base our opinions on one’s actions. Society has taught us to deceive ourselves, and let people use their words to manipulate us.

If we paid more attention to the actions of others and less attention to words they speak; we wouldn’t find ourselves in some of the most hurtful situations. Instead we would be further along. We would not only feel stronger and wiser but we would probably find ourselves much happier too.

I have carried what was once an annoying statement in an argument with my ex husband with me. Upon reflection I can see where a bit of his philosophies rubbed off on me. Particularly this one, because in my mid thirties I do not need words of affirmation so much. When I hear things, they go in one ear and out another. It is more about what I see that speaks to me. Words are just words.

As I went from a girl to a woman I adapted to the philosophy that actions speak louder than words. Instead of needing lip service from others, these days I am more about: Don’t tell me that you love me, show me. Don’t tell me you will be there, just be there. Don’t tell me that I can trust you, instead display that you are worthy of my trust.  Don’t tell me you are there if I want to talk, call me for once. Don’t tell me to come over and see you, you can come see me too.

It is amazing how much more clearly you can see with this motto. It eliminates a lot of garbage. People weed themselves out because its obvious who cares and who doesn’t. There is nothing left to question.

 “While some words are merely whispers, people’s actions will always manage to shout out the truth.”

For today: Observe the actions of others and compare it to their words. If one’s actions do not coincide with their words, take a deeper look. Sometimes the answers to life’s problems will appear by just sitting back and watching, quietly. Make mental notes as needed and then begin applying the necessary changes.

Day 2 – Letter B

Be Careful Who You Trust 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Celebrate Today

Life is short and changes momentarily. We never know when anyone’s journey will end.

As a result, we  must leave no words unspoken, or take a single breath or person for granted.

For today:

Take today to show those you love how much they mean to you. Celebrate their life.

Tomorrow is never promised, and this day is simply a gift.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Death Of A Loved One: The Stages Of Grief, And How To Celebrate Their Life

Death is inevitable. It is something we must all face through the lives of others, and eventually we face it ourselves when our number has been called.  Some are lucky to escape death a few times, before being taken to their final resting place. Some are taken very young, and some even volunteer to jump in the grave. No matter how they have passed, it is hard to accept.

The initial phases of the grieving process in death are shock & denial. We can’t believe it has just happened. We had just talked to them and they were fine. We had plans to do something with them, they just can’t be gone forever. Without warning, NO! This can not be happening. Not now! They had so much left to live, they were so young. They deserved more than this. This phase can last for an extended amount of time. In fact, there is no time period for any of the phases.

Once the shock and denial have faded, we may begin to bargain with God. We start making deals with Him. Sometimes we even become angry with him, which begins phase three of the grieving process. Anger. We become angry that it happened, and angry at ourselves. We begin to think that there is something we could have done. This is when the “should of, could of, would of” factor comes into play. We begin to have regrets about things in the relationship, and shortly after we begin phase IV.

Phase four of the grieving process is depression. We can’t imagine life without them. We needed them. They were suppose to be here. We find it hard to get out of bed at times, holidays are not the same, and we withdraw ourselves from life in generally. We lose interest in things we once loved, and struggle to take life one day at a time. We may starve ourselves, or eat until we are sick. With depression, we may even consider taking our own life. Depression, is frightening. And often times, needs medical attention.

When acceptance comes into play we have been through all of the stages of the grieving process. Acceptance is phase five. This is when we usually begin to celebrate their life. Wether it is holding a memorial tournament in their honor, purchasing that memorable plaque to place in the town square, or fighting for things that person that affected your life believed in. By looking for the good that they brought to your life, taking the lessons they taught you and applying them you are proving their purpose for your life. By spreading their beliefs, their stories, and your memories of them for generations to come; you are celebrating their life.

Death is a painful process. These phases can occur, and you may find yourself going back into a phase you previously completed. There really are no rules to grieving. But there is a rule when it comes to losing a loved one. Celebrate their life. Do something in honor of them. Carry on, smile, and know that you have one beautiful guardian angel watching over you now.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Where There Is Faith

There is a song when I was a child that my friend’s father use to sing in church. I couldn’t remember the entire song, or who even sang it, but I awoke singing the chorus this morning. I then took it upon myself to look it up on YouTube, and once the song began to play I could recall every word in the song and it gave me chills.

Where there is faith

There is a voice calling keep walking

You’re not alone in this world

Where there is faith

There is a peace like a child sleeping

A wonderful powerful place

Where there is faith

When we have faith we can move mountains. When we have faith we do not feel alone. When we have faith good things  happen. When we have faith, our sorrows are more bearable. When we have faith, we know there will be a tomorrow. When we have faith, life is beautiful. So no matter what you’re battling, keep the faith. It is our faith, that keeps us alive. It consoles us. It heals us. And it delivers us.

Listen to the song, and concentrate on the words. Let your worries and stresses go to the wayside, and replace them with faith. We are never alone. A little bit of faith can go a long way!