We are fools for love or thinking we have found it only to find out in time…..
“That was not it!”
But one thing is for certain….
we either always love them or we never truly did.
It has been requested by a reader that I expand on my ABC’s of life poem. They felt a need to read more on each topic and I felt the idea was borderline genius. For the next several days (26 to be exact) I will begin to develop each line into thoughts for each day. Hopefully by the time we get to Z, we will all have more insight on life.
Day 1 Letter A
Both words and actions have two faces. Whether they are in a positive or negative fashion, our words and actions will leave a mark somewhere. They will have an impact and bring about change. They will build and they will destroy.
I put the phrase “actions speak louder than words” in the poem ABC’s of Life and thought particularly of my ex-husband at the time that I wrote this line. It is a series of words I have heard him say countless times over the years and something that I didn’t fully comprehend; until I was in my thirties. But now I can admit it, he was right. Actions speak louder than words.
I believe we put so much stock into words because religions teach us all that we are judgmental when we base our opinions on one’s actions. Society has taught us to deceive ourselves, and let people use their words to manipulate us.
If we paid more attention to the actions of others and less attention to words they speak; we wouldn’t find ourselves in some of the most hurtful situations. Instead we would be further along. We would not only feel stronger and wiser but we would probably find ourselves much happier too.
I have carried what was once an annoying statement in an argument with my ex husband with me. Upon reflection I can see where a bit of his philosophies rubbed off on me. Particularly this one, because in my mid thirties I do not need words of affirmation so much. When I hear things, they go in one ear and out another. It is more about what I see that speaks to me. Words are just words.
As I went from a girl to a woman I adapted to the philosophy that actions speak louder than words. Instead of needing lip service from others, these days I am more about: Don’t tell me that you love me, show me. Don’t tell me you will be there, just be there. Don’t tell me that I can trust you, instead display that you are worthy of my trust. Don’t tell me you are there if I want to talk, call me for once. Don’t tell me to come over and see you, you can come see me too.
It is amazing how much more clearly you can see with this motto. It eliminates a lot of garbage. People weed themselves out because its obvious who cares and who doesn’t. There is nothing left to question.
“While some words are merely whispers, people’s actions will always manage to shout out the truth.”
For today: Observe the actions of others and compare it to their words. If one’s actions do not coincide with their words, take a deeper look. Sometimes the answers to life’s problems will appear by just sitting back and watching, quietly. Make mental notes as needed and then begin applying the necessary changes.
Be Careful Who You Trust
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
There is nothing closer to the truth, than these words. When we have truly loved someone, that love never goes away. Although we may ignore that love, suppress it, or fight to avoid it; it is there. We may deny it, we may extinguish it, but eventually our true feelings surface. When we find ourselves, we find love.
Love has many levels in relationships. Despite the level change, it still exists. It may be stronger or weaker than it once was, but it is there if it was ever truly there to begin with. Often when passion has left a relationship, we think that love followed it out the door. We feel less connected to someone, so we feel out love is gone. Sometimes “we run into the arms of curiosity to find out what was there all along” as India Arie sings in her powerful song, Wings Of Forgiveness.
No matter what we do to avoid loving someone: if it was ever truly love it will always be there. And that, should give us all hope. So many search for answers when it comes to love, loss, relationships, marriage, divorce, affairs, who do you love, etc. In fact, heartache drives the most traffic to this website, among many others. It is heartbreaking having learned my lessons the hard way, to watch others as they receive the same lesson. I want to help them, and tell them “NO, don’t do it! It’s right beside you! That love you are searching for has been there the whole time!” But, as humans the more people warn us not to do something the more we want to check it out. We want to see for ourselves what all of the fuss is about. And more often than not, we let denial keep us from experiencing the true beauty of love. We let doubt keep us from experiencing unconditional love. We let low self-esteem allow us to run to someone else and doubt what we had. When we are broken people, love is complicated.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.