The Birth And Death Of Friendship

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I once read somewhere years ago that friendships are born in those moments that we look at someone else wholeheartedly and say “Ohhhh, you do that too!?” It is in those moments of clarity such as uttering that statement  that will mark the beginning of wonderful memories

Through the years I have found that it really is about how much we can relate to others that not only determines the amount of friends we have, but the depths of those friendships as well. 

As we grow and change we will grow together as friends, or grow apart. And if our circle has never changed or has not changed for quite some time, then we may want to question some things. Because if it our circle does not grow or change, then we probably aren’t either. 

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© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Those Who Mind

sThis is by far one of my favorite Dr. Seuss quotes. Those who matter, do not mind. And those who mind, do not matter.

At some point in life we begin to measure success by a persons material gain. But once life comes full circle, we realize that those who truly matter to us… well, they don’t exactly care about those sorts of things.

For those who matter:

They do not care where you live, what you drive, what you wear, or how you style your hair. They do not care who you talk to, hang out with, or where you work. They do not mind if you are too busy to call, text, or visit. They like and love you for you, and to them none of those other things matter. 

For those who mind:

To those in your life who mind all of these things mentioned above, try not to let it matter to you. Because in time those people who judge you by where you are on life’s path, well, they just won’t matter. Let them continue their own separate journey in hopes that maybe someday, they too will realize what truly matters in life.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Comfort In Uncomfortable

Exif_JPEG_PICTUREAs nice as being comfortable may be, it is never good to get too comfortable. Being too comfortable in most situations often leads to problems, and it is notorious for catching us off guard over time.

Instead of being comfortable, we should find comfort in being uncomfortable. By being uncomfortable we gain more insight. It gives us a different perspective on how to tackle problems. It keeps us in tune with ourselves. 

Today’s task: Find comfort in uncomfortable situations.

What is that uncomfortable situation trying to teach you?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Who Are you?

“We can’t allow someone to change who we are just because they dislike who they are.”

 Who are you? Who am I? Who are we?

We are that person we see when we are all alone. You know, when there’s nobody looking. That person that we see just before we drift off to sleep each night. We are also  that same person we see when we look in the mirror every morning.

If we don’t like what we see, then that’s what needs changed. We can not change because someone said so. We must do it because we have searched our souls and know that we need to do so.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

ABCs of Life; Day 1, Letter A – Actions Speak Louder Than Words

It has been requested by a reader that I expand on my ABC’s of life poem. They felt a need to read more on each topic and I felt the idea was borderline genius. For the next several days (26 to be exact) I will begin to develop each line into thoughts for each day. Hopefully by the time we get to Z, we will all have more insight on life.

Day 1 Letter A

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Both words and actions have two faces. Whether they are in a positive or negative fashion, our words and actions will leave a mark somewhere.  They will have an impact and bring about change. They will build and they will destroy.   

I put the phrase “actions speak louder than words in the poem ABC’s of Life and thought particularly of my ex-husband at the time that I wrote this line.  It is a series of words I have heard him say countless times over the years and something that I didn’t fully comprehend; until I was in my thirties. But now I can admit it, he was right. Actions speak louder than words.

I believe we put so much stock into words because religions teach us all that we are judgmental when we base our opinions on one’s actions. Society has taught us to deceive ourselves, and let people use their words to manipulate us.

If we paid more attention to the actions of others and less attention to words they speak; we wouldn’t find ourselves in some of the most hurtful situations. Instead we would be further along. We would not only feel stronger and wiser but we would probably find ourselves much happier too.

I have carried what was once an annoying statement in an argument with my ex husband with me. Upon reflection I can see where a bit of his philosophies rubbed off on me. Particularly this one, because in my mid thirties I do not need words of affirmation so much. When I hear things, they go in one ear and out another. It is more about what I see that speaks to me. Words are just words.

As I went from a girl to a woman I adapted to the philosophy that actions speak louder than words. Instead of needing lip service from others, these days I am more about: Don’t tell me that you love me, show me. Don’t tell me you will be there, just be there. Don’t tell me that I can trust you, instead display that you are worthy of my trust.  Don’t tell me you are there if I want to talk, call me for once. Don’t tell me to come over and see you, you can come see me too.

It is amazing how much more clearly you can see with this motto. It eliminates a lot of garbage. People weed themselves out because its obvious who cares and who doesn’t. There is nothing left to question.

 “While some words are merely whispers, people’s actions will always manage to shout out the truth.”

For today: Observe the actions of others and compare it to their words. If one’s actions do not coincide with their words, take a deeper look. Sometimes the answers to life’s problems will appear by just sitting back and watching, quietly. Make mental notes as needed and then begin applying the necessary changes.

Day 2 – Letter B

Be Careful Who You Trust 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Day 3: Removing The Anchor

When restoring happiness and peace it is important to untie those anchors that keep us in treacherous waters.  After all, how can we get to a new destination if this anchor keeps holding in the same location? If we remain anchored we take the risk of being shipwrecked with one storm, or even one wave.

By removing the anchor and entering the captain’s seat we take control. We can then head into the open waters and travel around future storms  vs. sitting through every storm anchored and praying for survival. By steering ourselves, we are then given the option to plow through the waves and storms with determination. It also allows us to  keep a better eye on the forecast.

Our survival rate will increase significantly by simply taking control of the boat.

For day 3:

It is time to untie the rope, leave the anchor behind and set sail.

Once you start steering, you find that you are closer to Paradise Island than you had originally thought. However,  in order to get there we must first let go.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

New Season = New Lessons

I hear the birds singing, and love the way the sun kisses my face as I carry out the trash. Oh how I love the start of a new season. And how grateful I am that spring has arrived! As I walked back in from taking out the trash I thought “Uh Oh, new season = new lessons!” “I wonder what lessons are awaiting me this new season…”

This past season, I learned many things. I met new people, reunited with old friends, and built on existing relationships. I distanced myself from some relationships, and even discarded a few. All of which became a requirement for me to grow more, and find the right path.

I learned to never second guess my intuition, and to never doubt God’s plan. I learned the power of patience, and perseverance. I got to see firsthand the power of prayer and it’s ability to move mountains. That part was beautiful!

The biggest lesson I learned this past season was that “behind every failure is an opportunity for success.” I realized that our plan isn’t always His plan. That it is okay to fall, just get back up and keep pedaling! In order to prevent future falls/accidents, do not look back. Peddle like crazy and look straight ahead. Focus on the goal. (We peddled away for a reason, there is no sense in looking back at something we don’t and won’t miss.)

Now I question although I should not, “What will this new season bring?”

I want this to be my season to plant seeds in hopes for a bountiful harvest in the fall. It is the beginning of a beautiful journey. And a happy ending to a story that was once so sad to me. I predict this to be the season of joy! I feel very good about things, and incredibly optimistic! As my feet hit the floor each morning I feel good! I feel like my life has a purpose. I feel secure with who I am, I feel happy.

Whatever lessons lie ahead in this next season, I have faith I will learn and grow from them. I no longer fear change, I welcome it. With every new season, I embrace this journey even more. I didn’t know when or how I would get here, but faith has brought me here. Faith will either keep me here, or take me to an even higher place. None the less, it is time. And I am ready!

Thank you Lord, for such a beautiful life!