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From Both Sides Of The Fence: Cheater vs. Victim

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When cheating occurs both sides endure pain. Both sides feel theirs is greater. But whose is really? Can pain really be measured?

From my experience, the cheaters feel their pain is the same as their partners. They feel pain, loss, heartache, and failure. They feel dark, lost, alone, weak, and broken. They can’t believe they hurt someone who loved them.

More often than not a cheater doesn’t realize the depth of a partners love, until they see the pain their partner experiences when the cheating is revealed. In most cases, cheaters did not set into a relationship to cheat. At some point, needs were not being met. This does not justify cheating. Cheating is however a symptom of an already broken relationship. Things were broken long before an affair began.

Cheaters often wish the victim would quit talking about it or bringing it up. At times, cheaters are walking on eggshells with even the thought that their partner may be revisiting such bad memories. At other times the cheaters may appear nonchalant saying phrases like; “Get over it, Cant we move on already, Can we make up, etc.” Or perhaps the cheater plays that they are the victim.

Typically after finding out one has cheated, the story goes a little bit or a lot like this:

Cheater – I love you, I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Victim – Hind sight is 20/20. Thanks for showing me your version of love, jerk/b***h!

Cheater – I did it because ____, I did it because you didn’t ______, I did it because I was drunk/lonely.

Victim- There is NO excuse! Tell me the real reason please! Why wasn’t I worth the truth?

Cheater- How long will it take to get your forgiveness?

Victim – Can you be any more shallow? Can you exercise some patience here and help me clean up this mess you made before you ask such a ridiculous question. There is no time limit. I have no idea. I am still trying to figure out if I can even stand to be near you!

Cheater – Why are you always so negative now? Man you are in a bad mood!

Victim – Well, you should have thought of my mood when you did what you did. For wanting something positive you sure infected this relationship with your negativity. You did this! Not me!

Cheater – How do we move forward?

Victim – Move forward? I am still trying to figure out how I will survive today!

Cheater – This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted you. I didn’t want to hurt you!

Victim- Again, hindsight is 20/20. If you wanted me you should have been faithful. If you didn’t want to hurt me you would have been honest. You would have had some class, and character.

Cheater – He/She/They didn’t mean anything to me.

Victim – Wow, really? Sure means something to me now that I finally found out!

Cheater – How can I make things better?

Victim- I don’t know. But I do know your words mean nothing. You are a liar. Actions speak WAY louder! And your actions just spoke loud enough to last me a lifetime.

Cheater – Can you forgive me? What do you want?

Victim- I don’t know what I want! I don’t know anything anymore. Everything I thought I knew, I didn’t. I have been played the fool. This is SO embarrassing. Was any of this even real?

Cheater- Do you still love me?

Victim – Either doesn’t answer at all, or says I don’t know.

While the cheaters often carry guilt and pain, in my opinion it does not even compare tothe_past_love the pain that the betrayed partner carries. But I guess it truly would depend on the situation. Again, pain is hard to measure. (Everyone’s tolerance is so different.)

Once betrayed by a partner and the intimacy you once knew has been shared with someone else the entire relationship appears to have been a hoax. Nothing seems real. The betrayed feel violated emotionally, mentally, and sexually. You just feel dirty.

What doesn’t change is the amount of pain it inflicts on the faithful partner, the one who had hope and the one who believed. The one who never questioned anything. 

Yeah, that one will forever be changed. 

For more info on signs of a cheater click here

How To Market And Sell Your Item Online

So many businesses leave money on the table every single month by not taking advantage of the internet. Often customers visit a boring website, with very little information on the product they want to purchase. The number one rule to selling a product, is becoming the product. You must know everything about it. With the internet, there is an art to marketing your item.

The customer can not smell, or touch the product. Therefor it is crucial that you provide them with a very informative description. Take clothing as an example. With clothing the customer should feel as though they are already wearing that sweater before they even order it. By doing this, they will likely revisit and make a purchase if for some reason they couldn’t buy it on the initial visit. They need to be able to visualize wearing it, and by providing a nice description of the item they will do exactly that. Offer free exchanges and a return policy. It is important not to charge customers a penalty for these returns. They are buying from a desk, and taking a risk. Many are already leary, so it is important to make it a good experience for them.

It is also important to tell them why they need the item you are selling. Where can it be used and how? How big is this item? Exact measurements are best. What will owning this item do for them? Will it improve their life in any way? Will it simplify things? Are their multiple ways to use this item? People really need visuals, and pictures do not always work. Unless of course, you provide several pictures of the item. Items with more pictures vs. one stock photo, will always sell better.

Again, in any sales job it is about believing in what you sell. I once sold an empty box on ebay for $250.00 in a mystery auction. Granted, I put things in the box before I shipped it, but the customer had no idea what was actually in the box. However, people kept bidding. Why? Because the way I described the box, and possible things I would be placing in it. It got them excited, and they wanted it.

So get them excited, and pump them up. Provide quality service once they have purchased and you will likely gain repeat business, as well as word of mouth advertisement. Good Luck!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

How To Make Money From Home & Still Be A Good Mom

Have you been wondering how you can make money from home? Do you fantasize about working in your pajamas at times, or being your own boss? Are you craving a flexible schedule so you can enjoy time with your family on a regular basis? If you answered yes, you have clicked on the right page! I have spent the last several years generating income from home. The trick is, to pull it from various resources. By doing that, there will be a constant flow.

1. EBAY– I built an eBay business. I averaged about 1000+ a week in profit, and spent about 20 hours a week working. The income potential is endless, if you know what you are doing. My kids were with me all the time, it was a perfect job for me. “How To Be A Powerseller In 90 Days” by Angela Bininger will be available in e-book within the next few weeks. It contains every secret, and is well worth reading if you want to maximize your income.

2. LIA Sophia– An old friend of mine quit her corporate job for this exciting career. In her third year she is making 6 digit figures! This company is ranked in the top three for jewelry in the United States, and sits next to Tiffany’s with ratings. With this job, you can design your own schedule, and have a lot of fun while working. You can read her story by following this link http://www.liasophia.com/sherri

3. Freelance Writing– There are too many websites out there and not enough people to take care of them. When searching for places to write for,  type write for us in the search box. Craigslist is another great place to check for writing gigs. Do beware though, some craigslist advertisements are only persons making money with affiliate marketing.

4. Cake Decorator- I took my cake decorating courses through a local craft store. Most offer the Wilton cake decorating classes, and they are fun! They do not take long to complete, and upon completion you can even become an instructor. It is a fun way to make money, with a flexible schedule. With this business, mastering the wedding cake is what’s key. They can be pretty pricey, so if you want to make the most money for your time wedding cakes would be a good area to specialize in.

5. Child Care- Every county has a D.J.F.S. (Department Of Job And Family Services). You can become licensed through them to accept title xx childcare. This is childcare that the state helps provide for single parents, or lower-income households. It is a great program and you can easily make 3800 a month providing care. You must have a home inspection, become CPR certified, among a few other things. However, it is far worth checking into if you have a desire and room to care for children.

6. Call Center- There are several offices and companies that hire people to run a call center from their home. It could be something such as placing customer orders to taking messages for patients when a doctor’s office is closed. The requirements are typically a desktop computer, headset, and a land-line telephone. These jobs are pretty easy to find, and also include positions as virtual assistants with some companies.

These are just a few of the many ways to work from home, and still enjoy your children. All of which, have huge potential!