© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Day 5 Letter E
So many are afraid to find their voice and use it. It is unfortunate that they remain comfortable living their lives controlled by others emotions and actions.
Many people have a hard time standing up for themselves. Some will just go with the punches, and lolly-gag through life. Others will repeat things they are told instead of telling what they feel. They will hide behind a mask, and remain mute. They will remain afraid to stand up for themselves.
Whether speaking on behalf of something that we feel is right or wrong; we should all exercise our right to speak. It is our God-given right and it is our freedom.
Considering that freedom is never free, the best way we could say thank those that have laid down their lives so we can have freedom; would be to use our freedom of speech.
It’s time we take a stand. It starts with one voice and then soon after; many more will rally behind that voice.
“We must find our voice so we can teach others to find theirs.“
For today: Speak up. Let them know what is on your mind. Only you can speak for you. If you don’t speak, then you will be the only one to blame. By letting them know, that weight will be lifted and you will begin to experience emotional freedom.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
I have studied controlling behavior for quite some time. I find the psychological patterns that accompany it quite intriguing. After observing and analyzing a case these last few days, I figured out what it is controlling people really want in a partner/relationship.
What a controlling person really wants is someone weak. They attract nothing but weak people in almost every aspect of their life. They prefer someone who is more of a follower. Someone they feel that they can help in some way. They want someone to stroke their ego, someone to cater to them. They want a puppet on a string.
In the beginning of the relationship they will appear to be a giver. But once they are settled they take, and take, and take. And then once in a while, they give. To their partner anyway. To the world in most cases, they come off as laid back, easy going, driven, and focused. However behind close doors, they are verbally abusive and at times physically abusive.
What the victim doesn’t see often times is that they are in fact a victim. Their weak mindedness, fragility, low self-esteem, and brokenness will allow their mind and heart to believe this person is their rescuer. “They will take care of me!” “It’s the fairy tale!” And it will be fabulous in the eyes of the victim while the victim remains in that state of weakness.
Controlling people thrive in co-dependent relationships. As do the weak minded initially.
I have come to a conclusion as to why the relationship that would be labeled as controlling, often ends. It isn’t only because of control. It is because the victim, gains strength over time. The victim begins to find their voice. Once this happens, the victim walks away. The relationship is finished. The controller then attracts another weak person, and the trend continues. It is when the weak become strong, that it ends. If a controlling person had their way, they would never end a bad relationship. If they ended it they may have to face themselves.
If you are in a controlling relationship, find your voice and use it. Stop the abuse, before it stops you!
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Have you been wondering how you can make money from home? Do you fantasize about working in your pajamas at times, or being your own boss? Are you craving a flexible schedule so you can enjoy time with your family on a regular basis? If you answered yes, you have clicked on the right page! I have spent the last several years generating income from home. The trick is, to pull it from various resources. By doing that, there will be a constant flow.
2. LIA Sophia– An old friend of mine quit her corporate job for this exciting career. In her third year she is making 6 digit figures! This company is ranked in the top three for jewelry in the United States, and sits next to Tiffany’s with ratings. With this job, you can design your own schedule, and have a lot of fun while working. You can read her story by following this link http://www.liasophia.com/sherri
3. Freelance Writing– There are too many websites out there and not enough people to take care of them. When searching for places to write for, type write for us in the search box. Craigslist is another great place to check for writing gigs. Do beware though, some craigslist advertisements are only persons making money with affiliate marketing.
4. Cake Decorator- I took my cake decorating courses through a local craft store. Most offer the Wilton cake decorating classes, and they are fun! They do not take long to complete, and upon completion you can even become an instructor. It is a fun way to make money, with a flexible schedule. With this business, mastering the wedding cake is what’s key. They can be pretty pricey, so if you want to make the most money for your time wedding cakes would be a good area to specialize in.
5. Child Care- Every county has a D.J.F.S. (Department Of Job And Family Services). You can become licensed through them to accept title xx childcare. This is childcare that the state helps provide for single parents, or lower-income households. It is a great program and you can easily make 3800 a month providing care. You must have a home inspection, become CPR certified, among a few other things. However, it is far worth checking into if you have a desire and room to care for children.
6. Call Center- There are several offices and companies that hire people to run a call center from their home. It could be something such as placing customer orders to taking messages for patients when a doctor’s office is closed. The requirements are typically a desktop computer, headset, and a land-line telephone. These jobs are pretty easy to find, and also include positions as virtual assistants with some companies.
These are just a few of the many ways to work from home, and still enjoy your children. All of which, have huge potential!
Although I am not a certified professional in this area, my life experience takes me beyond what any fresh graduate in psychology would know. For I have 7 sisters, and 3 children of my own. I can say for certain that a parents relationship with each and every child is different, and unique.
I have spent years observing the parent child relationships and the differences of perspectives on parents by children who were all reaised within the same household. It is amazing to see how much perception varies from child to child. Although children have the same parent providing the same things in the exact same environments, the children still have different memories and perceptions of that parent.
While one may remember a parent to be hardworking, one may remember laziness. One child may remember a happy parent, while one remembers them disgruntled. One may remember a parent to be a liar, and another child within that same home and upbringing may remember that parent to be a liar. It varies from family to family, but nonetheless we all remember things differently.
Each child will carry their own issues to adulthood if they are not tended to in the earlier years. It is important that we as parents are aware of how to not only create a healthy relationship with our children; but keep it healthy for years to come. There are steps we can take early on to promote a lifetime of happiness with our children, even as they mature and become adults themselves.
Steps To Maintaining That Healthy Relationship:
In any relationship communication is important. It is crucial that our children always remain comfortable telling us anything. With that being said, it is imperative that we do not cast judgment on what they say, and that we truly listen. They are their own person. They are not who we want them to be. They are who they were created to be. Often times children quit speaking if a parent exhibits controlling behavior. If they can’t tell us the little things, they will never tell us the big things. So stay calm, and just listen. They will always come back if you do.
It is important not to show favoritism, and treat all children fairly. If you are attending events that are important to one child you should be attending events important to the other children as well. By not having equality it is causing the children feeling that are feeling more left out to have less faith in themselves. Therefor lowering their self-esteem, which can have a huge impact on their teenage and adult years.
It is important to show support in anything they do. Even if you think it is the craziest thing you have ever heard of. By being negative about their choices, you are pushing them away from you. Get down on their level, and try to see things as they see it. If they have an interest in something, help them peruse it. If they need someone to extinguish their flame, there are plenty of people in the world to do that. If they are on fire with enthusiasm, burn with them. Being enthusiastic and having drive, is a good thing!
There is nothing better for a child or even adult child to see, than a parent apologize when they are wrong. We are not perfect, and we will make mistakes. It is important that we do not sweep things under the rug, and pretend as though we know nothing about what happened. It is OK to apologize to your children if you need to. They understand just as everyone understands, that we are doing the best we can. It’s not like a “How To” guide comes out with the child or even in the afterbirth.
Keep Your Word
Do not make promises you can’t keep. Instead teach them that your word is who you are.
This is a hard thing for any parent, but often necessary. To prevent a co-dependent relationship it must be enforced. Make them work for what they want, and do not bail them out of every situation. By doing this, you are enabling them to repeat the behavior. They will repeat the same mistakes until they learn, and bailing them out only teaches them one thing: not to count on themselves.
We may have a plan for our children and the direction they go in life, but God likely has one that is completely different. Pray for your children to make wise choices, and to become good people. Pray for them to yield to His plan for their life.
There aren’t exactly any true tests in parenting until the child reaches the age of18. To know how well you have done is only answered when the child does one of two things; sinks or swims. It is vital for their health and the health of our relationship with them that we prepare them in all areas of life to promote healthy adult relationships in their life. It all begins with communication. However it can also end from the lack of such.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Love is the willing sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return. With that being said, how many of us truly love? We say things like “Well I did this for them, they can at least ____.” We keep score in our head of who has done what in the relationship such as who visits who, who calls who, etc. We don’t always admit that we do this, but we do.
So, I guess the question here is “Who Do You Love?” How many people have you loved to this degree? When is the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return? Have you done a favor for someone you love, and when the time came for you to have a favor done for you nobody came through? Were you irritated? Did you expect them to do for you what you once did for them?
If everyone memorized and lived by this definition, we would all be a lot easier to love. Love isn’t easy, but certainly was never intended to be a battlefield. It was intended to be the “willing and sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return.” Yes, that is love. True love.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.