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The Truth About Confronting Liars

We have all faced them and at one point been one. But how do we know if we are dealing with a liar the next time around? Perhaps the next one is a little bit more skilled than the last. This next one may just be on the border, of being a perfect liar.

Body Language is everything and there is an art to learning how to read the person. If you find them in simple lies that you know for certain are lies, ask questions and watch how they react. Then ask normal questions to get a feel for how they react. This technique coupled with natural instincts, will get the answers your heart needs every time.

Things to watch for in their body language:

Pay particular attention to the jaw line. Watch for twitching or erratic movement. It is usually closer to the ear.

Next watch the legs and hands.  Are their legs moving back and forth or are their knuckles being cracked? Being fidgety is a huge warning sign.

Are they carressing their  frontal lobe and/or the bridge of their nose?

What is their tone? How does this compare to normal conversation?

Paying attention to the way they react when you present them with information you know, will give you most of the answers you need. In time, you will appear to be borderline psychic. All you have to do is know who you are dealing with.

Reversals are common when dealing with liars. This is when they either change subjects entirely, or they find something to blame you for.  

You may be talking about something they actually did, and they will jump to something they think you might do to them. This is because of the guilt on their conscience that they do this. They hate being caught.

Walking Away is common with liars. They can’t face the truth. They have to take that time of panic, to gather up their story.

“What do you know?”, is a question commonly asked by liars. Or they will say “tell me what you think you know”. In their minds, they need facts first. It gives them time to scheme up their newest version of the story. And by telling them what you know and how you know, you aid them at fooling you more the next time. They are sneaky.

The easiest way to see how genuine they are when they “come clean” according to them, is to bring the subject up multiple times in various settings and comfort zones. When this is done, the stories will have holes which in turn leads you to more answers.

After having loved a liar in any kind of a relationship, you will find that you are a much better listener. You may also find that you take better notes and pay close attention to details.

Denial is the reason people lie. They feel that by denying who they have been or are, they can get closer to what they really want. The unfortunate part is that they can not see denying takes them further away from their destination. What that fail to realize is that: “It is impossible to fix something that we can’t admit is broken. So as long as the issues are denied, things will remain broken.”

A person who is dealing with a liar may find themselves praying, a lot. I highly recommend the prayer. God gets angry when people wrong us. And he will reveal the answers we need if we ask.

The question is, how bad do you want to know? Is it really worth it? The best thing to do would be to pick up the pieces, and move on. God will restore double what is lost.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Don’t Nurture What Needs Neutered

Don’t nurture what needs neutered in life. Cut it off, be released, and let it go. The time has come to move on.

Instead of getting mad about what is lost,what you have left behind , or what you have put away; get excited about whats about to come. God’s word says: “I will restore to you double.” Believe Him. And get excited! Because good is on its way!

 Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee.  Zechariah 9:12

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Straight A’s of Communication When Wanting To Resolve Issues or Conflicts

We all have things that annoy or bother us when it comes to others’ actions. It is vital that when these situations occur; we communicate those feelings with the appropriate person.

There is a way to communicate, and have straight A’s in the process. The conversations will be fail proof if the following steps are considered before tackling an issue or problem with another individual. It is truly all about our approach, our attitude(s), and our actions.

Approach is the first step to communication. If you approach with a bad attitude one will feel attacked, and things will quickly escalate. On the other hand if your approach is calm, sincere, and lacks sarcasm; it will be accepted by the opposite party will likely not become offended. We must all follow the three T’s to a proper approach when we are communicating a problem we have with someone else.

Attitude is everything in life; especially when communicating feelings or resolving issues one may have with other people.  A bad attitude can be contagious; but the good attitude is more appealing, attractive, and will provide better results.

Maintaining a positive demeanor while approaching and talking to an individual will promote conversation opposed to yelling and bickering. A person’s attitude when approaching another individual with heated topics; will determine the outcome. A bad attitude, will catch some of the most positive and care-free spirits off guard.

Actions speak louder than words. Our gestures or what we do can speak volumes in showing the other person how we truly feel. We may claim we were talking nice, but how heated we become is revealed by our actions. If either person is shaking their head, defensive, or involving others: it would be best to stop communicating until things calm down.

As with all problems in life, until we get to the root of an issue it will never get resolved. If we find ourselves in conflict with others and then over time speaking again without ever fully discussing what caused or allowed the previous separation; we will end up in the same place again and again. Until we fix the roots and they are thriving, the flowers will never blossom.

 © Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.  

ABC’s of Life Series — Day 8 Letter H : Help Others See The Light

ABC’s of Life

Day 8 Letter H


Help Others See The Light

Now that we have tackled the concept of allowing others grace to grow; we naturally begin to help others see the light. Because we have given them grace they will seek us out time and time again in times of trouble. They will return because we offer acceptance.  

When others feel our acceptance of them despite where they are in their life journey; they will then begin to see and feel our love. When they feel our love, they will begin to see the light. Once they see the light, the chains that bind them are finally broken.

There are multiple ways that we can help others see light in particular situations. It could be by handing them a tract or brochure, referring them to someone else that can relate better, suggesting a particular song or movie, or by simply being a light ourselves: through conversation or by setting an example with our own lives.

 

 

To some people we are merely a match flame.

To some a candle or lantern.

To others we may be the sun.

 

We all shed light.

In some way.

And light affects everyone.

 

 Day 9  Letter I

 

Instincts Are There To Guide Us

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited

ABC’s of Life Series — Day 6 Letter F : Fight For What You Believe Is Right

 ABC’s of Life

Day 6 , Letter F

 

Fight for What You Believe Is Right

 We have all encountered situations in life where we were forced to take a stand. There may have been repercussions for us speaking up, and there may have been rewards.

 In the long run, there is always a reward when we fight for what we believe is right. It is called personal fulfillment.

 When situations light fire in us and brew anger, passion begins to stir. By continuing to fight for our desires, wishes, dreams, and anything we believe is right; we continue to build more passion.

We are better off to speak up and take a stand, even if it means doing it alone. Just as the saying goes: We have to stand for something, or we will fall for anything.

Whether it be fighting for a relationship to work, career advancement, or something you feel is your moral obligation; fight for it. Keep fighting and keep believing.

When you feel inclined to give up, fight harder. Chances are if you decide to quit, everything you had been fighting for was only an arms reach away. 

For Today: Take a stand and fight for what you believe it. It doesn’t matter what others think. It is better to fight and stand alone, than to not take a stand at all.

 

Day 7 Letter G

Give Others Grace To Grow

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

ABC’s of Life Series – Day 4 Letter D : Dreaming Is A Must

ABC’s of Life Series

Day 4, Letter D

 

Dreaming Is A Must

We all are born to dream. Sometimes we just have a hard time believing  in our dreams enough to follow through. We get stuck in these ruts of being comfortable, and find ourselves afraid to take a risk. However, we need to take a risk; to achieve a gain.

This world has developed due to people’s dreams and their determination to make those dreams a reality. Because someone dared to dream, we now communicate in this world faster than ever before. We build luxurious homes, we dine at the finest restaurants, and we wear some of the most lavish clothing.

Because someone dared to dream we have cures for diseases. Infants can live prematurely for weeks ahead of schedule and still survive. We are living longer, and for the most part we are healthier too.

Thank goodness people in this world have dreams. I am grateful that no matter how many times people were told it could not be done, someone made it a point to do it anyway. They followed their heart, and they succeeded.

Dreams keep us alive and give us something to look forward to. Dreams advance the world and grant opportunities like never before. Dreams, are a key to happiness. Fulfilling them is when happiness has nearly been mastered.

“Not only must we take time to dream, but we must make the time for our dreams to come true.”                    

What is your dream? Are you ready to make it happen? It can be done ….

 

 

Day 5 Letter E: Exercise Your Freedom Of Speech 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

ABC’s of Life Series — Day 3 Letter C ; Cherish Every Breath You Take

ABC’s of Life Series

From A – Z

Day 3, Letter C

 

Cherish Every Breath You Take

“Life can end or be forever changed in a millisecond. It is important that we live it to the fullest and not take it for granted. We must find our purpose, and fulfill it.”

I learned at an early age the stages of grief by the loss of loved ones. By the age of 20, I had been to more funerals than years I had been alive. The trend continued well into my thirties. From friends, to co-workers, family members, and classmates it didn’t take long to realize; the shortness of life. One minute we are here, and the next we are gone forever.

 

Signs that a person is cherishing every breath:

– They treat others as though it was the last time they will see them, every time that they see them.

– When they are in the wrong, they apologize.

– They find themselves thankful for all things, both good and bad.

– They dream big and follow through.

– They live the best life they know how to live.

– They begin to build new bridges once they cross them instead of burning bridges that they may need to cross again someday.

– They focus on the big picture, and try hard not to get caught up in the minuet details.

– They make sure they have left no stones unturned.

– They accept the past and build towards the future.

– They live as best they can to have no regrets.

– When they are present, people notice.

– They give life all they have.

What matters the most in the end is that our spirits are free enough from any baggage, to enter into the after-life. Otherwise, we are just another episode of ghost hunters. Who wants to be another lost and broken spirit wandering the earth after death; due to unresolved business? Surely, not me.

As for me personally, I want to make peace with people while I am here and live the best possible life that I can. It is the only way to rest in peace, when our time here has expired.

Day 4 Letter D – Dreaming Is A Must

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Being Married To An Alcoholic Can Mean Divorcing Yourself

Being married to an alcoholic is challenging. As if marriage isn’t tough enough, we find ourselves facing an illness that can be life threatening.

As spouses we want to believe that there is hope, and that the behavior is something we can correct. We believe the if we do certain things, say certain things, avoid situations, and act a certain way it will change the alcoholics mindset. We think that if we avoid alcohol itself that it will help. After all, if we drink they will want to drink. So we avoid it all together. We try everything to prevent drinking episodes and fight like hell to understand the disease, its causes, and its effects.

(One of the biggest mistakes we make; is thinking we can control the fate of the disease.)

It is hard to maintain an upbeat spirit and our identity when dealing with an alcoholic on a daily basis. Often times we lose sight of ourselves and eventually, as we find ourselves again we find the courage to walk away.

The hardest part of dealing with a spouse who suffers from alcoholism is accepting the reality that we can’t change them. It does not matter what we do, they are who they are. They will lie to us, and they will deceive. Trust will be hard to restore.

The battle of dealing with an alcoholic you love can be just as bad as having the disease itself.

Some alcoholics hide it well. They come off as hardworking, well liked, and social. Others can come across as laid back and quiet. These are usually the ones who can’t maintain their alcohol and become violent. It can be quite dangerous. They can’t hear our crying and pleading for them to get help, instead they dive deeper into the drinking and begin to resent the one suggesting they seek help. They are in their own world, and only those who accommodate their disease are welcomed.

Alcoholics are on a road to self-destruction. Until they reach a dead-end they will not realize that they need help. They will continue to surround themselves with people who make them feel justified in their behavior. Someone who says “Oh you had a bad day? Want to have a drink?” will soon be their best friend. They feel this person understands. What this person has done is opened another door and allowed the alcoholic to do even more damage. They have just become the rescuer.

Alcoholism is a painful disease to watch. We never know what will come next. A new injury, more vomit, a new place he/she passed out, another fight, a D.U.I., a social mishap, or a new hole in a wall or door.

When living with an alcoholic you are truly the only one who knows the extent of the disease and can often vouch for the fact that you never know what their mood will be. Sometimes even the slightest things can set them off. It is Jeckel and Hyde. They are critical of others because they feel bad about themselves. They are out of control. They have lost sight of who they are. As a result they can become controlling, and abusive.

When we love an alcoholic it can be debilitating. They can not see the pain they cause. Sometimes we just have to let go because it becomes too depressing to watch and live with. At that point all we can do is pray for the best results.

Until people want to change, there will be no change. And if their disease is causing you to lose who you are and what you believe in, it is time to let go. It is not worth losing you too!

For more information about contributing to your loved ones disease  click here.

How To Market And Sell Your Item Online

So many businesses leave money on the table every single month by not taking advantage of the internet. Often customers visit a boring website, with very little information on the product they want to purchase. The number one rule to selling a product, is becoming the product. You must know everything about it. With the internet, there is an art to marketing your item.

The customer can not smell, or touch the product. Therefor it is crucial that you provide them with a very informative description. Take clothing as an example. With clothing the customer should feel as though they are already wearing that sweater before they even order it. By doing this, they will likely revisit and make a purchase if for some reason they couldn’t buy it on the initial visit. They need to be able to visualize wearing it, and by providing a nice description of the item they will do exactly that. Offer free exchanges and a return policy. It is important not to charge customers a penalty for these returns. They are buying from a desk, and taking a risk. Many are already leary, so it is important to make it a good experience for them.

It is also important to tell them why they need the item you are selling. Where can it be used and how? How big is this item? Exact measurements are best. What will owning this item do for them? Will it improve their life in any way? Will it simplify things? Are their multiple ways to use this item? People really need visuals, and pictures do not always work. Unless of course, you provide several pictures of the item. Items with more pictures vs. one stock photo, will always sell better.

Again, in any sales job it is about believing in what you sell. I once sold an empty box on ebay for $250.00 in a mystery auction. Granted, I put things in the box before I shipped it, but the customer had no idea what was actually in the box. However, people kept bidding. Why? Because the way I described the box, and possible things I would be placing in it. It got them excited, and they wanted it.

So get them excited, and pump them up. Provide quality service once they have purchased and you will likely gain repeat business, as well as word of mouth advertisement. Good Luck!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Who Do You Love?

Love is the willing sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return. With that being said, how many of us truly love? We say things like “Well I did this for them, they can at least ____.” We keep score in our head of who has done what in the relationship such as who visits who, who calls who, etc. We don’t always admit that we do this, but we do.

So, I guess the question here is “Who Do You Love?” How many people have you loved to this degree? When is the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return? Have you done a favor for someone you love, and when the time came for you to have a favor done for you nobody came through? Were you irritated? Did you expect them to do for you what you once did for them?

If everyone memorized and lived by this definition, we would all be a lot easier to love. Love isn’t easy, but certainly was never intended to be a battlefield. It was intended to be the “willing and sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return.” Yes, that is love. True love.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.