“If we don’t claim our past it will claim our future. It is not possible to know where we are going, if we can’t admit the places we have been.”
I have seen countless situations where people deny their past. They deny what they have done, or what has been done to them. They deny their experiences. Their fear of admitting mistakes or failures enables them to continue in their negative cycle. Simply put, it cripples them and they can not grow as a person. Instead they keep making the same mistakes, again and again.
By denying our past experiences we set ourselves up to fail. If we can’t admit where we have been or screwed up in life, how could we even begin to correct it? By hiding it or denying the experiences we are merely doing a patch job. As we know, patches only hold so long.
By laying it all out there and owning every experience: nobody has anything over us. We can walk in peace, with no secrets. We live in light instead of darkness.
There is nobody worth keeping secrets. We are worth more than that. By owning our past and our experiences we begin to walk in truth. We can then break the negative cycles and patterns; and begin to experience peace and happiness.
We have to own our experiences, and learn from them. It is the only way to level up in the game of life. If we can’t admit them, how can we ever truly recognize what needs changed?
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
We are all human and we all make mistakes. In some cases it hinders relationships and apologies are necessary. But how do we know if someone is truly sorry for their actions?
Admittance – Without admitting what we have done wrong we remain in a state of denial. While in denial, it is impossible to break the cycle. If your partner has admitted their wrong doings, you are heading in the right direction.
Apologetic – Anyone can apologize and say what people want to hear. When wondering how sorry a person is, ask yourself how sincere the apology was. Or was there even an apology? No apology is denial of the behavior and a guarantee that those emotions that prompted you to read this, will resurface again until the cycle is broken.
Actions – After admitting a wrongdoing and apologizing it is important to put words into action. At this stage the apologetic person should be taking large strides to correct his/her issues. This should be something seen regularly vs. something seen for the few days following a disagreement. Although we may slip up when making changes and revert to old behaviors from time to time, when someone is truly sorry you will see more days of effort than you will days of the old behavior.
Change – When a person is truly apologetic, change is noticeable. There are no gray areas. This person has not only admitted it and apologized, but he/she is actively trying to help himself/herself. Whether it be by reading materials pertaining to the issues, or receiving counseling for his/her problems the changes should be noticeable.
Accept – Someone that is truly sorry can take the heat, and will acknowledge what they have done along with accepting the repercussions. They will suggest ways to mend fences, and admit that they guided the relationship to this position. They will accept any emotions they have caused those they have hurt as though they were their own. They will be understanding, compassionate, and patient.
“Until people decide with the right intentions to change for themselves,
….. change is impossible.”