know

Mom, How Do You Know If You Are In Love?

love-sick1

My daughter asked the age old question….

“Hey mom, how do you know if you are in love?”

My answer was quite simple. At least it was to me. And although it took me many years of my life to figure it out for myself, I felt like I could give her a legitimate answer.

But first, I had to start with what my definition of love is.

Love Is:

When you give of yourself and think nothing of it. You want nothing but to see the other person happy and for them to benefit. It is sacrificial, and you expect nothing in return.

Sometimes love can mean being with the person forever and getting married, and sometimes you love them enough to say goodbye. But when it is true love, you can feel it. You just click.

You respect each other and get along, and you don’t try and change the other person. You work together. It is a partnership with two people who are the best of friends.

You laugh regularly. You cheer one another on. And you feel like there is nothing that life can throw at you, that the two of you can not handle together. 

Now, being in love… that can be tricky!

But as for me…..

How do I know that I am in love?

For starters, I still count the hours until he gets home from work and we get our family time, and time as a couple. I still get butterflies when he touches my hand. And no matter how bad of a day I have had, one hug makes it all go away.

I look forward to every conversation we have, from religion to politics and everything in between. I love getting to know him more every day. I love the simple ways he shows me on a daily basis that he loves me.

I am simple. So is he. And together, it is just something magical.

And when you are in love…. it is magical. Nothing anyone says will make you feel any different. And every day, you love them more than the day before.

how love test

The Depths of Love

We are fools for love or thinking we have found it only to find out in time…..

“That was not it!”

But one thing is for certain….

we either always love them or we never truly did.

Are They Truly Sorry?

We are all human and we all make mistakes. In some cases it hinders relationships and apologies are necessary. But how do we know if someone is truly sorry for their actions?

Admittance – Without admitting what we have done wrong we remain in a state of denial. While in denial, it is impossible to break the cycle. If your partner has admitted their wrong doings, you are heading in the right direction.

Apologetic – Anyone can apologize and say what people want to hear. When wondering how sorry a person is, ask yourself how sincere the apology was. Or was there even an apology? No apology is denial of the behavior and a guarantee that those emotions that prompted you to read this, will resurface again until the cycle is broken.

Actions – After admitting a wrongdoing and apologizing it is important to put words into action. At this stage the apologetic person should be taking large strides to correct his/her issues. This should be something seen regularly vs. something seen for the few days following a disagreement. Although we may slip up when making changes and revert to old behaviors from time to time, when someone is truly sorry you will see more days of effort than you will days of the old behavior.

Change – When a person is truly apologetic, change is noticeable. There are no gray areas. This person has not only admitted it and apologized, but he/she is actively trying to help himself/herself. Whether it be by reading materials pertaining to the issues, or receiving counseling for his/her problems the changes should be noticeable.

Accept – Someone that is truly sorry can take the heat, and will acknowledge what they have done along with accepting the repercussions. They will suggest ways to mend fences, and admit that they guided the relationship to this position. They will accept any emotions they have caused those they have hurt as though they were their own. They will be understanding, compassionate, and patient.

“Until people decide with the right intentions to change for themselves,

….. change is impossible.”

When We Don’t Know

© February 2010 Angela Bininger

W h e n      w  e     d o nt
know       which     road
to     travel,    He  gives
u s      a      sign.    When
w e    dont   know   how
to  get down  the   road
He    leads     t h e   way.
When   we   encounter  bumps   in    the  road,  He gets  us
over     them.   When  we    dont    know  how   far   we  can
make   it,   He   proves   to   us   we  can.    When   we  didnt
think   we  would   survive   the   trip,   He   shows  us   how
strong  we are.  When  we   dont  know all  of  the  answers
He     reveals    them.     When     we    feel     we     have   just
l  o s  t         i  t          a l l
H  e       g  i  v  e s      u s
S   o  m  e   t   h    i   n  g
T  h a t       i s     m u c h
b      e     t      t      e     r  .
W  h e n     we      d o n t
le a r n      our      lesson
th e      f i r s t       t i m e,
He      m a k e s      s u r e
that   we  r e p e a t    i t.
W h e n       w e      d o n t
listen    t o    H i m,    He
lo v e s     u s       anway!
When      we      are       on
the   cusp    of    fulfilling
our    dreams,   He    had
it   planned    all    along.
When   we   don’t    know
how,  why,  when,  or   if
…….……………..…………..
He does  & always will!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.