Mom, How Do You Know If You Are In Love?

love-sick1

My daughter asked the age old question….

“Hey mom, how do you know if you are in love?”

My answer was quite simple. At least it was to me. And although it took me many years of my life to figure it out for myself, I felt like I could give her a legitimate answer.

But first, I had to start with what my definition of love is.

Love Is:

When you give of yourself and think nothing of it. You want nothing but to see the other person happy and for them to benefit. It is sacrificial, and you expect nothing in return.

Sometimes love can mean being with the person forever and getting married, and sometimes you love them enough to say goodbye. But when it is true love, you can feel it. You just click.

You respect each other and get along, and you don’t try and change the other person. You work together. It is a partnership with two people who are the best of friends.

You laugh regularly. You cheer one another on. And you feel like there is nothing that life can throw at you, that the two of you can not handle together. 

Now, being in love… that can be tricky!

But as for me…..

How do I know that I am in love?

For starters, I still count the hours until he gets home from work and we get our family time, and time as a couple. I still get butterflies when he touches my hand. And no matter how bad of a day I have had, one hug makes it all go away.

I look forward to every conversation we have, from religion to politics and everything in between. I love getting to know him more every day. I love the simple ways he shows me on a daily basis that he loves me.

I am simple. So is he. And together, it is just something magical.

And when you are in love…. it is magical. Nothing anyone says will make you feel any different. And every day, you love them more than the day before.

how love test

The Depths of Love

We are fools for love or thinking we have found it only to find out in time…..

“That was not it!”

But one thing is for certain….

we either always love them or we never truly did.

Are They Truly Sorry?

We are all human and we all make mistakes. In some cases it hinders relationships and apologies are necessary. But how do we know if someone is truly sorry for their actions?

Admittance – Without admitting what we have done wrong we remain in a state of denial. While in denial, it is impossible to break the cycle. If your partner has admitted their wrong doings, you are heading in the right direction.

Apologetic – Anyone can apologize and say what people want to hear. When wondering how sorry a person is, ask yourself how sincere the apology was. Or was there even an apology? No apology is denial of the behavior and a guarantee that those emotions that prompted you to read this, will resurface again until the cycle is broken.

Actions – After admitting a wrongdoing and apologizing it is important to put words into action. At this stage the apologetic person should be taking large strides to correct his/her issues. This should be something seen regularly vs. something seen for the few days following a disagreement. Although we may slip up when making changes and revert to old behaviors from time to time, when someone is truly sorry you will see more days of effort than you will days of the old behavior.

Change – When a person is truly apologetic, change is noticeable. There are no gray areas. This person has not only admitted it and apologized, but he/she is actively trying to help himself/herself. Whether it be by reading materials pertaining to the issues, or receiving counseling for his/her problems the changes should be noticeable.

Accept – Someone that is truly sorry can take the heat, and will acknowledge what they have done along with accepting the repercussions. They will suggest ways to mend fences, and admit that they guided the relationship to this position. They will accept any emotions they have caused those they have hurt as though they were their own. They will be understanding, compassionate, and patient.

“Until people decide with the right intentions to change for themselves,

….. change is impossible.”

Some Love

Some love comes for a season,

Some love lasts forever.

Some love is forfeited,

Some love is mistaken all together.

Some love brings inspiration,

Some love brings shame.

Some love is never-ending,

No love is the same.


© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

We Have Always Loved Them, Or We Never Did

“You never stop loving someone.

Either you always will or you never truly did.”

© Kait Staples 2010

There is nothing closer to the truth, than these words. When we have truly loved someone, that love never goes away. Although we may ignore that love, suppress it, or fight to avoid it; it is there. We may deny it, we may extinguish it, but eventually our true feelings surface. When we find ourselves, we find love.

Love has many levels in relationships. Despite the level change, it still exists. It may be stronger or weaker than it once was, but it is there if it was ever truly there to begin with. Often when passion has left a relationship, we think that love followed it out the door. We feel less connected to someone, so we feel out love is gone. Sometimes “we run into the arms of curiosity to find out what was there all along” as India Arie sings in her powerful song, Wings Of Forgiveness.

No matter what we do to avoid loving someone: if it was ever truly love it will always be there. And that, should give us all hope. So many search for answers when it comes to love, loss, relationships, marriage, divorce, affairs, who do you love, etc. In fact, heartache drives the most traffic to this website, among many others. It is heartbreaking having learned my lessons the hard way, to watch others as they receive the same lesson. I want to help them, and tell them “NO, don’t do it! It’s right beside you! That love you are searching for has been there the whole time!” But, as humans the more people warn us not to do something the more we want to check it out. We want to see for ourselves what all of the fuss is about. And more often than not, we let denial keep us from experiencing the true beauty of love. We let doubt keep us from experiencing unconditional love. We let low self-esteem allow us to run to someone else and doubt what we had. When we are broken people, love is complicated.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Who Do You Love?

Love is the willing sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return. With that being said, how many of us truly love? We say things like “Well I did this for them, they can at least ____.” We keep score in our head of who has done what in the relationship such as who visits who, who calls who, etc. We don’t always admit that we do this, but we do.

So, I guess the question here is “Who Do You Love?” How many people have you loved to this degree? When is the last time you loved someone and expected nothing in return? Have you done a favor for someone you love, and when the time came for you to have a favor done for you nobody came through? Were you irritated? Did you expect them to do for you what you once did for them?

If everyone memorized and lived by this definition, we would all be a lot easier to love. Love isn’t easy, but certainly was never intended to be a battlefield. It was intended to be the “willing and sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of others, without the thought of return.” Yes, that is love. True love.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

That’s Life!

Understanding is half the battle

No matter who or where

Patience seems to run out

When tolerance is scarce

Loving can be easy to hate

Hate at times will be fun

Trust seldom seen

Lust, well that’s in everyone.


© 2007 Angela  Bininger

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.