lie

Recovering From Lies In relationships

When we are in a relationship that has experienced betrayal; recovering from that betrayal can be quite a challenge. The severity of the betrayal will play a huge part in the recovery process. Is this person sorry? How do we know if a person is truly sorry? Most importantly, will they do it again?

There are ways to recover if the person who has deceived you is ready. The unfortunate part is that the recovery is some-what dependent on the other person’s ability to face themselves and be honest. They must want a change for a change to even be an option. They must lay all of the truth on the table.

Although recovery for the liar begins by their purging of information, they have to tell everything as though they have entered a confession booth. If you feel like there is more to the story you are probably right. So make sure you follow the proper steps when confronting a liar. 

(Click here for more about confronting liars)

If they don’t want to stop their behavior we are simply beating a dead horse and it is no longer worth our time trying. The best way we can recover is to let go of the person. It would be too difficult to maintain respect for ourselves if we surround ourselves with people who do not respect us.

If the truth is not fully revealed; there will always be problems. And at that point we must walk away. It is the only way to make a full recovery and let the past be the past. It is also the only way to keep something from replaying in your head constantly. 

For signs that your partner is dishonest or hiding something click here.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Be Careful Who You Choose

We must be careful who we choose  as friends,  partners, companions or spouses.   

If they lie to others in front of you, they will lie to you too.

If they talk about others in front of you, they will talk about you too.

If they steal in front of you, they will steal from you too.

If they disrespect others in front of you, they will disrespect you too.

If they hide who they are from others, they will hide from you too.

If they cheat on someone to be with you, they will cheat on you too.

If they blame others for their problems, someday they will blame you.

Watch their actions and hear their words. Then decide what kind of company you would like to keep. What we watch them do to others, is often what they will someday do to us. How they speak of others is how they do or will eventually speak of us. It has proven to be true in many situations.  

If they aren’t treating others the way you would want to be treated, it may be a flag. Perhaps they are putting up a front for you? It may be time to question a few things.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Lying Before God Under Oath

Why would one swear before God to be honest yet still lie, when God always knows the truth? 

I am finding that these are the people in society who have deep seeded psychological issues. For them there is very little hope. The only thing that truth seekers can do, is be thankful that they do not partake in the liars evil ways.

People take the stand in a courtroom raising their hand to our maker that they will profess the truth, and then they lie. It  happens every day in this world, but why would one choose to lie before God and man? Especially when truth always comes out in the wash!

Perhaps it is strictly because they have no conscience that they lie? Maybe they enjoy playing victim because they are filled with shame. Or perhaps it helps their tormented mind to think they are fooling everyone. As we all know, all they are really doing is exposing that they are indeed the fool.


Facing a liar in the courtroom:

The  liars who trip themselves up during their testimony are somewhat humorous. When they realize they are caught they get a look of panic, start to twitch, and suddenly begin turning red and mumbling. Sometimes they are unknowing of how to answer a question, so they look at their lawyer with that look of a deer in headlights. They too, know they are caught.

When faced with a liar in the courtroom, stay calm and remember that God is on the strongest of battalions. Those who swear to Him publicly under oath and commit perjury, will see many dark days ahead. God will have vengeance on them.

Instead of getting flustered by the lies  just smile knowing that you will be okay. And for them… God will have His way. Leave it in His hands. The more you wish well for them, the stronger His vengeance will be. 


A special note for those who choose to lie in a court room :

Every word spoken in the court room during a trial is being recorded for later reading. Everything said can then be compared and contrasted, then ultimately the truth will be seen. With evidence presented or even not presented mixed with some common sense and reading skills;  liars in the courtroom are easily spotted.

Play your case however you wish, but in the end the truth is what wins. 




The Benefits Of Honesty

Lying can make people victorious initially, but it is only temporary. By being honest in all areas you will gain respect from others in the long run; which is far more admirable. It takes much strength to be honest in all situations. And  those lacking honesty; simply lack character, insight, and direction. Fear dictates their lives.

As we know the truth will be seen eventually, and those that once screamed victory from the revelation of lies; will realize they were defeated all along. They defeated themselves the moment they delivered those lies and deception. They defeated themselves by remaining in denial. And they will continue to defeat themselves until there is a realization that life is far too short, to live a lie.

When looking at the big picture one can clearly see that lying brings about failure, while remaining honest promotes success. I have seen it time and time again. My best advice to anyone that reads this; is advice that was once passed to me. “Just be honest. It may bite you at first, but eventually, others will see that what you are/were saying is real.” Once others begin to separate the truth from the lies, and the facts from the fiction;  you can experience true victory without having compromised who you are in the process.

“Stand for the truth at all times.

As liars begin to trip themselves up, you will still be standing.

It is much easier to stand; than continuing to fall.”

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Want To Know How To Raise An Honest Child?

100_8126Did you know that the biggest reason adults lie is because as a child they were unable to communicate with their parents or guardians? As children, these lying adults were unable to freely express who they were without fear of judgment or punishment.

Most adult liars were children raised to perform to a particular parents standards, and as a result they have had trouble coming in to who they are. They grew up in a home where free thinking was frowned upon. 

Growing up in such an environment, the child felt a need to lie to keep a parent happy. And because the child feared disappointment or disapproval from his/her parents,  the child then began a pattern of lying that would take years to correct, if ever.

To raise a truth-seeking honest child:

Be honest with your child, and yourself – Children learn what they live. If we expect them to be honest, we must be honest. If a child sees a parent lying that child will not only lose respect, but pick up on the habit. He/she will think “Hey, they got away with it and it made their life easier. It will work for me too!”

Respect who your child is – As parents we have ideas in our mind as to who our kids will be. Sometimes, we live vicariously through them. It is important that we respect who our children are. Perhaps they don’t want to be on the state championship bound football team. Or perhaps they have decided to pursue another form of religion. Whatever it may be; by not respecting their thoughts and feelings, it teaches them to hide it from you in fear of disapproval.

Respect the truth – It takes a lot of courage for children (in some instances) to tell the truth on certain topics. When they do tell the truth, instead of lashing out on them we should show respect for that truth. By lashing out, they learn to close up more and say less. 

Speak the truth – By speaking the truth ourselves and standing up for what we feel is right, our children will naturally begin to as well. If they watch us cower in the corner with every confrontation life brings, and if they watch us being used as doormats for other people then they lose respect. 

Live the  truth – We can tell our children what is right, but if we aren’t living a just life they will see through the charade. We must be honest in all areas of our life if we expect our children to be. 

Promote the truth – We have a rule in our home that the truth bears no punishment. It isn’t to say that there will be no consequences or repercussions, however they will not be punished for being honest. 

Encourage passion – Find something that your child is passionate about where he/she learns to use their voice. Whether it be speaking on animal rights, citizens rights, or student council encourage him/her to be passionate about what they think or feel. Our best leaders in this world were once taught to be passionate, and to find their voice. When they found that voice, they used it. And because of that, they changed the world.

Do Not React – When your child is sharing something about his or her peers do not allow them to see your reaction, shock, or anger as to what they are saying. Do not force them to stop talking to people who make bad decisions. Instead teach them how to make their own good decisions regardless of their company. Reacting will only shut them down and prevent you from knowing what is going on with their friends in the future.

The biggest thing that I have seen with children who lie regularly to their parents is that their parents are really overbearing. Especially those who only have one child and nothing to compare it to. They have a hard time accepting that their child is not them, and that they are their own person.

We can either adopt these items listed above or have a dishonest and unruly teenager when that time comes. And as for me and my house, we will continue to promote honesty and free thinking. So far, so good here!