The Birth And Death Of Friendship

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I once read somewhere years ago that friendships are born in those moments that we look at someone else wholeheartedly and say “Ohhhh, you do that too!?” It is in those moments of clarity such as uttering that statement  that will mark the beginning of wonderful memories

Through the years I have found that it really is about how much we can relate to others that not only determines the amount of friends we have, but the depths of those friendships as well. 

As we grow and change we will grow together as friends, or grow apart. And if our circle has never changed or has not changed for quite some time, then we may want to question some things. Because if it our circle does not grow or change, then we probably aren’t either. 

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© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Make Today Matter

walkEverything is temporary. Our homes, our cars, our health, our minds, our bodies, our children, our family, our friends, our pets, and all material items. Although some seasons last longer than others, what and who we have today can be gone in the blink of an eye. As we all know, life is short and nothing is promised to last forever.

Make today matter. Love yourself. Leave nothing unsaid. And let people know what they mean to you. Release the negativity and embrace the positives. Love your enemies. Be kind. Be polite. Be courageous. Be strong.You’ve got this.

They Come And They Go

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I recently read a quote that said “If a friendship lasts more than seven years it will last a lifetime.” I don’t buy it! 

Now granted, I have been blessed with many of good friends. Some friendships go back as far as 34 years. But even some of those “friendships” do not have much depth to them. If we knew each other at the core of our being, we may not really like each other.

I have found that friends come in cycles. Although we are blessed to have some we may consider our best friends, they are only our best friends so long as they can relate to us in some way. Whether is be that you are raising kids the same ages, both in marital trouble, both single, both party animals, both share the same hobbies, or even both on a spiritual journey together… they tend to come and go. So long as we are changing, our circle will continue to change as well.

The friends worth keeping are the ones who:

*Tell you the truth no matter how bad it hurts.

*They are not offended by your lack of time for them.

*They understand we are all unique with our own thoughts, feelings and ideas. They respect yours and you respect theirs.

*They listen as much as they speak.

*No matter how much time lapses, you are a phone call away from feeling like there was no time lost at all.

*They make you laugh when you would rather cry.

*They want to see you happy and successful.

*They are with you at your worst and at your best.

If you have one good friend, that you can trust and share life with….. count your blessings. And keep a hold of him or her. A good friend who is both honest and true, is hard to find.

Cut It Loose

I find that the older I become, the less tolerant I am of certain behaviors, as well as some breeds of people. It’s almost as though I have spent so much time in my life trying to figure out people and their logic, their morals, decisions etc., that I have more or less just thrown my hands in the air. Sometimes you just have to… cut it loose.

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If I feel like there is a lack of respect, empathy, compassion, trust, or understanding…. I cut it loose.

If I feel that one side does more taking than giving…. I cut it loose.

If we only see each other because I come to you…. I cut it loose.

If we only talk because I call or text, I stop calling and texting. Again…I cut it loose.

Keeping people around who drag you down just isn’t worth it. If they aren’t making you a better person, or if your life is not a little bit easier just knowing that they are there….

CUT THEM LOOSE!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Impossible and Possible

We can’t ever change who a person is. That has to come from within them. We can however change our circle of people, so that we have a better fit when it comes to the company we keep.

If personalities clash and you are finding yourself frustrated around a person more than you find yourself full of joy and happiness – it is an easy fix. Instead of trying to mold and change the individual, change where you are spending your time instead. After that, everything will start falling into place. 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Be Careful Who You Choose

We must be careful who we choose  as friends,  partners, companions or spouses.   

If they lie to others in front of you, they will lie to you too.

If they talk about others in front of you, they will talk about you too.

If they steal in front of you, they will steal from you too.

If they disrespect others in front of you, they will disrespect you too.

If they hide who they are from others, they will hide from you too.

If they cheat on someone to be with you, they will cheat on you too.

If they blame others for their problems, someday they will blame you.

Watch their actions and hear their words. Then decide what kind of company you would like to keep. What we watch them do to others, is often what they will someday do to us. How they speak of others is how they do or will eventually speak of us. It has proven to be true in many situations.  

If they aren’t treating others the way you would want to be treated, it may be a flag. Perhaps they are putting up a front for you? It may be time to question a few things.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Goodbye Says It All

No long explanation. No reconciliation. No lets talk it over, number you can call. Goodbye says it all! *Blackhawk*

The biggest mistake we make at times is saying goodbye, or so we think. We fool ourselves into believing that in the eyes of someone else, we are worth fighting for. That our relationship with them meant to them, what it did to us. The truth is, that is hardly the case in any relationship. Wether it be romantic or what one thinks is an innocent opposite sex relationship, one always seems to feel more than the other. One always seems to have higher expectations.

As we walk away threatening our goodbyes while hoping deep down that another person will change their ways or even put up a fight to keep us, we begin living in denial. We begin to loose ourselves. It is crucial to maintain your dignity, and keep walking. Despite the pain of goodbye, 99% of the time it is worth it. It will make for a much sweeter “hello” with someone who believes what we believe, and that we truly jive with.

As we kick ourselves during the mourning process of saying goodbye, we must not wallow in our own self pity. After all, we chose to walk away right? Perhaps when we walked away from someone who we think we still love, goodbye said it all to them. Are they suppose to spend their life consumed with thoughts of us? Or are they suppose to learn their lessons, heal, and move forward?

In the initial stages of break-ups , we truly believe we still love someone out of fear and fear alone. Once we move out of fear, we will then see that the break-up that occurred, occurred for a reason. It occurred to take us to a much brighter destination. It occurred so the we can be in complete control of our happiness.

Before saying goodbye, remember that to many people in this world, “Goodbye says it all.” Never say goodbye and expect someone to beg you to be in their life. It just doesn’t work that way. Pick up the pieces, and move on. Brighter days will come.