Joy

There is one thing a person must acquire in order to live a balanced and happy life. That one thing, is joy. 

Do you have joy in your life or is it the missing link?

It does not matter much where you live, where you work, what you drive, or where you dine. It does not matter who your friends are, or what their social status is. If joy is not present, misery often is instead.

True joy can be experienced in trailer parks and in mansions. It is found on beaches and in mountains. It is seen in extremely cold climates, and can still be found in the desert heat. Everyone experiences it differently, but it is up to us to find it for ourselves.

People find joy in many ways. But once they truly find it….. it stays.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Day 3: Removing The Anchor

When restoring happiness and peace it is important to untie those anchors that keep us in treacherous waters.  After all, how can we get to a new destination if this anchor keeps holding in the same location? If we remain anchored we take the risk of being shipwrecked with one storm, or even one wave.

By removing the anchor and entering the captain’s seat we take control. We can then head into the open waters and travel around future storms  vs. sitting through every storm anchored and praying for survival. By steering ourselves, we are then given the option to plow through the waves and storms with determination. It also allows us to  keep a better eye on the forecast.

Our survival rate will increase significantly by simply taking control of the boat.

For day 3:

It is time to untie the rope, leave the anchor behind and set sail.

Once you start steering, you find that you are closer to Paradise Island than you had originally thought. However,  in order to get there we must first let go.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Tides

We will make mistakes

we will fall on our face

But what really matters

is that we fall with grace

When tragedy dies

and lessons are learned

happiness is found

the tides have turned.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2015 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Only Way To Truly Be Happy

I noticed this year when preparing for my daughter’s birthday party that I was not stressed at all. Everything was done way ahead of time. It was perfect!

When I reflected over the last few years of throwing social gatherings as a single mom, I realized they were all enjoyable. Stress free. No bickering. Just enjoying the day, living in the moment, and embracing life.

When I was married, parties were quite different. I would be mad that I didn’t have anyone to help me set up, or that he forgot the ice cream at the store. I would be mad if the grill wasn’t fired on time, or if he wasn’t there to watch the kids opening presents. By counting on someone other than myself, I was only setting myself up for disappointment. Which then led to a series of other emotions.

We all wander around aimlessly in hopes to obtain that ultimate happiness. When in reality, happiness is quite simple. The trick is to never count on anyone! Although this may harsh, shallow, or cruel, it is the absolute truth. When we rely on others, we become disappointed. When we become disappointed next comes hurt, anger, frustration, among many other things.

When I began to compare this scenario to other times in life where disappointment has been a factor, along with anger, frustration etc., the answer was still the same. “Don’t count on anybody but yourself, and you will have nothing to complain about.”

It’s Okay To Question Things

From as far back as I can remember, I have questioned things. I have questioned people’s actions, their words, and their motives. I went around like a detective, searching for answers. And searching for truth. When I sought truth from those that feared it, I would be chastised and beaten down. They would accuse me of lying, because they feared the truth. As a result, I developed some rather thick skin. I realized that those whom fear truth, do not admire those that seek it. However, their fear has never or will never keep me from seeking the truth, or getting answers.

As I began my journey as a writer I didn’t think much about the way society belittle’s reporters and journalists. My goals were to publish some books, and hopefully work for a newspaper or publishing company someday. I knew it would take time to network, and get the name out. I was willing to be patient.

As I posted the article on my review of the electronic cigarette, I never imagined being put in a hot seat. If it weren’t for the tracker on my site I would wonder if anyone reads my work at all. When the “vapors” came to my site I followed the link to their site.  When I arrived they were criticizing my article, accusing me of lying. I was being criticized again in my life, for telling the truth. I then became a member of their website to inform them that I did indeed live the experience and that the article was true. They all came at me firing guns, not wanting people to know what happened to me. They called names, criticized, poked fun etc. One woman from my city claimed that because she didn’t see our local station air the story I saw, that it didn’t air. Another spoke that my article tells people to smoke regular cigarettes when the article clearly states trying alternative methods to quit.  Some of these people were completely ignorant. There were some however, that educated me on the F.D.A.’s attempt to ban the electronic cigarettes. But even then, I called the F.D.A. and I questioned things, again. And of course each side has their story and I’m left with my own personal experience, and their stories to sort it out. By the end of the day I realized these people attacking were manufacturer’s, supporters, and sales people of the electronic cigarettes. No wonder they were attacking.

As I tucked the children in last night excited that 10 t.v. contacted me in reference to my article and the fact that they were finally listening to the story, I had an epiphany. It was then that I  realized the reason I had to develop such thick skin at a young age. It was to prepare me for this. With this profession people attack you regularly. They either love you or they hate you. They will criticize and they will praise. You never know what is coming next.

As I sat there I realized that I finally had the answer to the hand God dealt me. I knew why He gave me a life where I consistently had to question things, people, and their motives. Those things I didn’t understand trotting through life, suddenly all the experiences good and bad were beginning to make perfect sense. There was no more asking God “WHY?” The puzzle has found its missing piece! I had an answer!

I have always been an investigator by nature. I have always been a passionate writer. Never in my life did I see myself having a burning passion to be a reporter. But I do! I love to talk, I love to tell things, I love to make people aware. It is my personality! And now, on the cusp of living a dream I find myself very grateful. Life experience speaks louder than degrees and classrooms. Life experience books sell more than someone with a bunch of letters behind their name. My life experiences and sharing them, has opened many doors. I am getting great feedback from people who owe me nothing. They are merely people passing by, and we know nothing about one another aside from names. They are people saying good job, and they are giving me even more inspiration and drive. They are other writers, editors, and site administrators. They work for publishing companies, news stations, and newspapers. They are not all just friends and family anymore. Not that I ever doubted what friends or family who support me in this say or said, it is just different hearing it knowing that the person saying it owes me nothing. It is an unbiased opinion.

People have no idea how much their words mean to me when I read them or hear them. I was just a single mom chasing a dream that is now becoming a reality. I didn’t know how I would get here, or when. But I knew I would. Once again, proving the power of positive thinking. I am glad I have always questioned things now. I’m glad for the situations in my life that were traumatic. I’m thankful for the good and bad, all of which is what gave me the drive to get to this new place. It’s okay to question things. And in everything give thanks. We never know what He is up to,  but He has a plan for us. And after 33 years, I finally found out part of His plan for my life. And with every word I write or speak, I give thanks.

Dream It –  Believe It –  Do It

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What Controlling People Really Want

I have studied controlling behavior for quite some time.  I find the psychological patterns that accompany it quite intriguing. After observing and analyzing a case these last few days,  I figured out what it is controlling people really want in a partner/relationship.

What a controlling person really wants is someone weak.  They attract nothing but weak people in almost every aspect of their life. They prefer someone who is more of a follower.  Someone they feel that they can help in some way. They want someone to stroke their ego, someone to cater to them. They want a puppet on a string.

In the beginning of the relationship they will appear to be a giver. But once they are settled they take, and take, and take. And then once in a while, they give. To their partner anyway. To the world in most cases, they come off as laid back, easy going, driven, and focused. However behind close doors, they are verbally abusive and at times physically abusive.

What the victim doesn’t see often times is that they are in fact a victim. Their weak mindedness, fragility, low self-esteem, and brokenness will allow their mind and heart to believe this person is their rescuer. “They will take care of me!” “It’s the fairy tale!” And it will be fabulous in the eyes of the victim while the victim remains in that state of weakness.

Controlling people thrive in co-dependent relationships. As do the weak minded initially.

I have come to a conclusion as to why the relationship that would be labeled as controlling, often ends. It isn’t only because of control. It is because the victim, gains strength over time. The victim begins to find their voice. Once this happens, the victim walks away. The relationship is finished. The controller then attracts another weak person, and the trend continues. It is when the weak become strong, that it ends. If a controlling person had their way, they would never end a bad relationship. If they ended it they may have to face themselves.

If you are in a controlling relationship, find your voice and use it. Stop the abuse, before it stops you!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.