For centuries it has been said that freedom is never free. The same applies in our personal lives when it comes to self-discovery and personal growth. To be free from what binds us we must be willing to make sacrifices. We must be willing to surrender ourselves and be willing to let go & walk away.
In doing this, we find our own personal freedom. Because we no longer feel held down or held back- we can soar to new heights, and truly begin to live.
Don’t nurture what needs neutered in life. Cut it off, be released, and let it go. The time has come to move on.
Instead of getting mad about what is lost,what you have left behind , or what you have put away; get excited about whats about to come. God’s word says: “I will restore to you double.” Believe Him. And get excited! Because good is on its way!
Turn you to the strong hold, ye prisoners of hope: even to day do I declare that I will render double unto thee. Zechariah 9:12
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.
When restoring happiness and peace it is important to untie those anchors that keep us in treacherous waters. After all, how can we get to a new destination if this anchor keeps holding in the same location? If we remain anchored we take the risk of being shipwrecked with one storm, or even one wave.
By removing the anchor and entering the captain’s seat we take control. We can then head into the open waters and travel around future storms vs. sitting through every storm anchored and praying for survival. By steering ourselves, we are then given the option to plow through the waves and storms with determination. It also allows us to keep a better eye on the forecast.
Our survival rate will increase significantly by simply taking control of the boat.
It is time to untie the rope, leave the anchor behind and set sail.
Once you start steering, you find that you are closer to Paradise Island than you had originally thought. However, in order to get there we must first let go.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Often people file for divorce or initiate a break-up thinking that they are done with the relationship. They think the issues will be gone and that they can begin their new journey. Although publicly filing for divorce is the first major step, the emotional divorce is much harder to deal with, and it takes time.
Studies indicate that it takes approximately 3-6 months for every year in a committed relationship to heal. Although there is no such timer for healing due to the fact that each person handles it differently, this time period proves to be true in the dissolution of almost every relationship I have witnessed.
How To File For An Emotional Divorce
1. Begin to live separate lives! This is crucial! You are two separate people, heading two separate directions. You are on a journey to find yourselves again, and you will hit many road blocks while still acting as though you are a married or committed couple. Give him/her space, and begin to live separate.
2. Do Not Answer To One Another! This one is probably one of the hardest to do. After being in a committed relationship we naturally answer to the “How, Why, Where, When” questions. We do it naturally, and it times we feel it is just showing respect. Reality is, it is keeping us attached.
3. Reinvent Yourself! Find something you have always caught yourself daydreaming about, and do it. Take that trip, join that society, fight for that cause, run that marathon, publish that book, or whatever the case may be. When we begin doing something that empowers us on a daily basis we begin to feel we live a life of purpose. Reinventing ourselves is our way of keeping our past from dictating who we are or become. This is your chance to shine!
4. Pray! This is by far the fastest road to recovery. Pray for guidance, wisdom, and discernment. Pray for a life of peace. Pray to know yourself, and pray for God to allow others to be receptive to your wants, needs, and desires. It may be instantly that He answers, and it may be months. But nonetheless, He will answer. Just be ready when He does!
5. Let Go! There is nothing worse than holding on to something that is dead. Once you let go completely you can begin to embrace the new journey, and move forward. You then begin to experience an inner peace like no other just by letting go. Fear keeps us holding on, fear misleads us, and fear blinds us. When we let go of fear, we can let go of almost anything.
6. Find A Positive Outlet! Wether it be crafts, arts, music, writing, playing sports, coaching a team etc., it is important to find a positive outlet. This emotional roller-coaster ride may not end for weeks, months, or even years. Find something or some way to release that anger, frustration, and sadness in a positive way. By projecting positive, more positive will come.
7. Believe! The sooner you believe you can do it alone, the sooner you will. The sooner you believe, the sooner you will succeed. After every loss, there is a gain. When God takes one away, He often sends something or someone even better to bless our socks off.
8. Don’t Rush It! There is no need to rush into the arms of someone else. If we did that we would end up right back where we are now, eventually. Take time to learn the lessons. Dig deep and do a self-check. Break-ups are never due to one person alone. Both parties bring issues to the relationship, and it is important to take responsibility for your part in that. By accepting responsibility for where you went wrong in the relationship, you begin to take preventative measures for all future relationships.
As I stated earlier in this article, the emotional divorce is far different from the typical divorce. It is an entirely different process. Couples divorce every day in this country through our court systems. However, more often than not they remain emotionally married for years to come. Take control of your life, and get out completely. Only then will you experience the true beauty in this world. Only then will the chains that bind you, be broken.
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
I hear the birds singing, and love the way the sun kisses my face as I carry out the trash. Oh how I love the start of a new season. And how grateful I am that spring has arrived! As I walked back in from taking out the trash I thought “Uh Oh, new season = new lessons!” “I wonder what lessons are awaiting me this new season…”
This past season, I learned many things. I met new people, reunited with old friends, and built on existing relationships. I distanced myself from some relationships, and even discarded a few. All of which became a requirement for me to grow more, and find the right path.
I learned to never second guess my intuition, and to never doubt God’s plan. I learned the power of patience, and perseverance. I got to see firsthand the power of prayer and it’s ability to move mountains. That part was beautiful!
The biggest lesson I learned this past season was that “behind every failure is an opportunity for success.” I realized that our plan isn’t always His plan. That it is okay to fall, just get back up and keep pedaling! In order to prevent future falls/accidents, do not look back. Peddle like crazy and look straight ahead. Focus on the goal. (We peddled away for a reason, there is no sense in looking back at something we don’t and won’t miss.)
Now I question although I should not, “What will this new season bring?”
I want this to be my season to plant seeds in hopes for a bountiful harvest in the fall. It is the beginning of a beautiful journey. And a happy ending to a story that was once so sad to me. I predict this to be the season of joy! I feel very good about things, and incredibly optimistic! As my feet hit the floor each morning I feel good! I feel like my life has a purpose. I feel secure with who I am, I feel happy.
Whatever lessons lie ahead in this next season, I have faith I will learn and grow from them. I no longer fear change, I welcome it. With every new season, I embrace this journey even more. I didn’t know when or how I would get here, but faith has brought me here. Faith will either keep me here, or take me to an even higher place. None the less, it is time. And I am ready!
Thank you Lord, for such a beautiful life!
Being married to an alcoholic is challenging. As if marriage isn’t tough enough, we find ourselves facing an illness that can be life threatening.
As spouses we want to believe that there is hope, and that the behavior is something we can correct. We believe the if we do certain things, say certain things, avoid situations, and act a certain way it will change the alcoholics mindset. We think that if we avoid alcohol itself that it will help. After all, if we drink they will want to drink. So we avoid it all together. We try everything to prevent drinking episodes and fight like hell to understand the disease, its causes, and its effects.
(One of the biggest mistakes we make; is thinking we can control the fate of the disease.)
It is hard to maintain an upbeat spirit and our identity when dealing with an alcoholic on a daily basis. Often times we lose sight of ourselves and eventually, as we find ourselves again we find the courage to walk away.
The hardest part of dealing with a spouse who suffers from alcoholism is accepting the reality that we can’t change them. It does not matter what we do, they are who they are. They will lie to us, and they will deceive. Trust will be hard to restore.
The battle of dealing with an alcoholic you love can be just as bad as having the disease itself.
Some alcoholics hide it well. They come off as hardworking, well liked, and social. Others can come across as laid back and quiet. These are usually the ones who can’t maintain their alcohol and become violent. It can be quite dangerous. They can’t hear our crying and pleading for them to get help, instead they dive deeper into the drinking and begin to resent the one suggesting they seek help. They are in their own world, and only those who accommodate their disease are welcomed.
Alcoholics are on a road to self-destruction. Until they reach a dead-end they will not realize that they need help. They will continue to surround themselves with people who make them feel justified in their behavior. Someone who says “Oh you had a bad day? Want to have a drink?” will soon be their best friend. They feel this person understands. What this person has done is opened another door and allowed the alcoholic to do even more damage. They have just become the rescuer.
Alcoholism is a painful disease to watch. We never know what will come next. A new injury, more vomit, a new place he/she passed out, another fight, a D.U.I., a social mishap, or a new hole in a wall or door.
When living with an alcoholic you are truly the only one who knows the extent of the disease and can often vouch for the fact that you never know what their mood will be. Sometimes even the slightest things can set them off. It is Jeckel and Hyde. They are critical of others because they feel bad about themselves. They are out of control. They have lost sight of who they are. As a result they can become controlling, and abusive.
When we love an alcoholic it can be debilitating. They can not see the pain they cause. Sometimes we just have to let go because it becomes too depressing to watch and live with. At that point all we can do is pray for the best results.
Until people want to change, there will be no change. And if their disease is causing you to lose who you are and what you believe in, it is time to let go. It is not worth losing you too!
For more information about contributing to your loved ones disease click here.
The Empoweror 