Author: Angela

Angelahttp://www.theempoweror.comA human who has been exposing covid vax injuries for the last two years. There are still many stories waiting to be told.
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Smile, it really does make people wonder!

A person entered my life over the last few years, an employer, that I developed a unique friendship with. Nobody could stand him, at work, or in town. He ran everyone away with his negativity, well, just about everyone. Some would still come in to get free beer, or food. And a select few of us, simply needed a job.

For me, I kinda felt bad for him. He was the first person in my life with an abundance of negative energy, that didn’t weigh me down. He would sit, and stew, and complain all day. To workers, to customers, about workers, about customers, etc. I would work 13 days straight at times, open to close shifts, and for some reason his consistent complaining didn’t bother me. He reduced every employee to tears with his rages, but somehow, never me. My goal everyday, was to make him smile or laugh.

I filled the room with smiles. I was so happy to be working, that I had a home for my kids, we were all healthy, that I broke free from some of the most controlling people Id met in my life, and that I had my independence. The list could go on for some time. I  felt on top of the world.

Often he would curse and say “Why are you always  so f***ing happy?” My answers would vary from time to time, but often I would say “Because I know it pisses you off” and he would smile, scratch his head, and walk away. When he came back around a few minutes later he would just look at me shaking his head, with a smirk on his face.

When we let go of criticism & overlook flaws in other people, we are then capable of connecting with feelings that border on bliss. When we realize that everyone has all the same tools, and that some aren’t just capable of using them all the same way, we are then able to see positive things in our own life.

When positive things are felt, seen, or heard we find ourselves smiling. And it can be contagious! Lets infect the world with our smiles, and while doing that, the disgruntled people will just have to continue wondering what we are up to. Maybe they will crave it eventually, and begin to smile too.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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How To Reconcile After Your Divorce

The level of damage caused by both parties must be taken into account when reconciliation is being considered. Each party has experienced pain, loss, and a multitude of other emotions. Some wounds can heal quickly. However, it will take much needed time regardless of the size of the injury.

Steps To Reconciliation:

1. Respect one another when it comes to personal space! You will both need time to heal, however, do not put too much distance. Distance when a relationship is already struggling can make the reconciliation process even more complicated.

2. Communicate about everything, and withhold nothing. If you truly want to make it work you must lay all of the cards on the table. Refraining from being honest will only do more damage.

3. Figure out what it was that attracted them to you in the first place, and zoom in on it!

4. Attend a marriage seminar or couples retreat. There are plenty across the country, and likely one in your area.

5. Assess exactly it went wrong as well as what changes either of you have made; in order to prevent another breakup.

6. If you were the one that treated your spouse poorly you should be eating, sleeping, and breathing the words I’m sorry. However, words aren’t everything. Your actions will speak much louder. Be genuine!

7.  Let them see you at your best. Don’t mope around allowing yourself to slip into depression. Reinvent yourself. Become interesting again. Make them wonder what they are missing.

8. If you have children, do not use them to bargain. Do not even let them know that reconciliation is something you are considering. They can see you interacting in a civil manner as adults, however, until reconciliation is guaranteed you must leave them out of it.

9. In every interaction you should be positive, and appear happy. You are on top of the world!

10. Send a random text when you are driving past that place that is special to the two of you.

11. Don’t be afraid to show that your vulnerable side. Tell him/her exactly how you feel. Doing this in doses seems to work best. Sometimes if you lay it on thick all the time, it will have the opposite affect and push them the other way. Tell them how you feel, then back off if they aren’t ready to hear your feelings. Be patient. You may have to do this for months or possibly years, reminding them occasionally that you are still there, and do indeed still love him/her. Sometimes one will remain in “victim” mode for a very long time. When they are in victim mode, they can’t grasp much of what you say. You are that nagging ex! So tread lightly during this step.

12. Fix yourself! When a marriage ends it is because 2 people are broken. Now is a good time for personal counseling if couples counseling is not an option. Dig deep, read a lot of self-help books, and learn everything you have forgotten or have never known about you.

13. Don’t lose hope! Couples reunite every day.  Although there is no secret formula, once hope is lost you can guarantee that reconciliation will never happen.

14. Re-establish your friendship with one another. Get back to the roots from which that mighty tree came from!

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Are they hopeless romantics, or just insecure?

I use to be a hopeless romantic. I wrote love letters, packed his lunch for work with little love notes inside, and I wrote poetry. Just for him. I’d buy him little gifts, plan trips for us together, and I hung by his every word. He was my heart’s desire.
I washed and folded his clothes, cooked for him, and I often greeted him with a hot plate of food after a long days work. When he came home the house would be immaculate, with candles burning, and me anxiously awaiting his arrival. I’d rub his hands that were overworked, I’d rub his back and shoulders, along with his feet. I did it all, for quite some time.
All of these things I have mentioned are characteristics of a “hopeless romantic”. Hopeless romantics are the “doers” in the relationship, for the most part. They are on a mission! They are fixated on love, and the joy it brings. When they feel they have found love, for them, it’s total bliss. Their mission in life, is to find their soul mate!
In hindsight, I can’t help but wonder if it was really because I was insecure that I did these things. Did I subconsciously become a hopeless romantic because I feared more loss in my life? After many defeats, I wanted a victory! I just wanted to be loved, I wanted to hear and see those things returned to me, by him.
As I continued with the behaviors that define a hopeless romantic, so began a path of self-destruction. By constantly fighting to be loved, I lost myself. And eventually, him too. In finding myself again, post divorce, I have now realized how very insecure I was all of those years.
Ironically  now that I am independent and secure with myself;those traits of a hopeless romantic that I once carried seem to be gone.  I still have a romantic side of course, but it is nothing like it once was. Hopeless romantics, I now avoid, when before that was all I wanted in a partner.
hope·less 1. Having no hope; despairing. See Synonyms at despondent. 2. Offering no hope; bleak. 3. Incurable. 4. Having no possibility of solution; impossible.
ro·man·tic
1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of romance. 2. Given to thoughts or feelings of romance. See Synonyms at sentimental. 3. Displaying, expressive of, or conducive to love: a romantic atmosphere. 4. Imaginative but impractical; visionary: romantic notions. 5. Not based on fact; imaginary or fictitious: His memoirs were criticized as a romantic view of the past. 6. often Romantic Of or characteristic of romanticism in the arts. Is this just a coincidence? Or is there some truth to this? Are they hopeless romantics, or just insecure? What do you think?
© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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3 Years & 4 Months …. To Raise A Man!

Due to the weather, no school, and cooped up children today things around the house got a little crazy. Perhaps, the mattress in the living room as a trampoline was not the best idea. There was bickering galore! After time outs, corners, and taking away privileges it was time that the kids and I had a little talk.

The “little” talk turned out to last about an hour and a half. It was a good bonding moment. It was a time to recognize wrong behaviors. It was a time to get down to what the real issues were, they were obviously beyond the sibling rivalry stuff. When we finished  our talk it was time for bed, and we went about our normal routine.

As I tucked them in and had them say their prayers, a sadness came over me. The sadness of how fast they are growing up, and the fact that I’m only in their life 50% of the time. (Obviously not by choice)

As I walked downstairs, I sat, and I thought “3 years and 4 months of  “my” parenting time left and my baby boy is a man. I sat and continued to think, then began to calculate all the hours in those three years he would be at school, playing sports, and hanging out with his friends. As I continued to think tears rolled down my cheeks.

I have 3 years, and 4 months to raise a man! My time with him (and my girls),  is limited. Our time together is sacred. I have very little time, to teach them many important things. I’ve always known this, I guess it was just the reality of it being year 3 already as a single mom, and doing the math on the little bit of time that’s left before my boy is a man.

I guess it’s why I don’t  get a babysitter so that I can be selfish, and do things I want to do. I can do those things when they are grown. Its why you won’t see me reading a book or just socializing when I’m at a skating rink with them, I’m skating. It’s why I don’t take people’s phone calls most of the time, I will get with you when the kids aren’t here. It’s why you don’t see me on the sidelines at their sporting events, you see me coaching. It’s why I help at the school when they need me, attend their field trips when possible, and have school lunch dates with them. The list goes on and on.

I’ve always been very devoted to them, and involved. I have always enjoyed them and felt this is what I was put on this earth to do. I love making their birthday cakes, sewing costumes, scrapbooking, and all the wonderful things that mothers get to do. I don’t look forward to their bedtime, I don’t shew them away. I love them, I respect them, and I enjoy them.

I’m grateful to have always had the awareness about how fast time goes. It’s something I have always been conscious of.  Tonight, was just different.

When you only see them half as much, they grow up twice as fast. And THAT  reality, hit me much harder tonight than ever before. As I retire from the keyboard, I pray:

Dear God,

Thank you for these amazing children,

and for blessing my life with them.

I cherish them, as you know.

Thank you for protecting them,

and keeping them healthy for as long as you have.

Thank you for their intelligence,

and kind hearts.

Thank you for allowing them to inspire me,

and for allowing them to teach me all I need to know about patience.

I pray now that you continue to encourage them,

comfort them,

and guide them.

I pray for a hedge of protection around them.

I pray that they yield to you,

and live their life according to your plan.

Please allow them to make good decisions

and I beg that you heal their broken hearts.

Thank you, for always coming through!

Amen!

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© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Design On A Dime, & Have Fun With The Children At The Same Time

Having trouble finding artwork that coördinates with your color scheme? Are the kids ready to do something different? Are the same old family activities becoming boring? Would they be interested in taking part in designing a space in the home? This is an extremely cheap  but fun way to decorate any space. A definite  penny-pinching family activity!

Find the colors you want for your space then give the children the paper, brushes,  and paint. Have them begin their masterpiece. Sit down with them and paint one yourself. It is a fun time to bond, learn more about one another, and you have something hanging on the wall at the end to remind you about that bonding moment.

This  will liven up any room, and add a ton of character. The kids will truly enjoy this activity, and will proudly display their framed work in any area of the home.

THIS IS AN EXCELLENT GIFT IDEA FOR MOM’S, DAD’S,  AND GRANDPARENTS!! THEY WILL CHERISH IT!

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Do Controlling People Have Smaller Minds?

I’m sure we can all think of someone (or perhaps many someone’s) who have issues over control.

It appears to me that controlling people are the more narrow minded of the human species. I sometimes wonder if there is some sort of damage to the frontal or parietal lobe of their brain. It certainly would be an interesting study!

When dealing with a controlling person, we are dealing with someone who is irrational in most areas of life. they appear to be one who is mentally challenged when it comes to being logical about life situations or events. (The lights just aren’t all working upstairs, ya know?)

At times it seems as though we are talking to a wall when speaking with a controlling person. It’s their way, or the highway. We have a voice that they can’t hear and our opinions mean nothing to them. (Heaven forbid we speak our minds or have our own thoughts, opinions, or ideas.) 

Controlling people get what they want and they do it at almost any cost. The sad part is, they usually don’t even realize they are doing it. 

I read a really good book a few years ago by Patricia Evans as I began my journey as a single mother. It described controlling people to a tee. It explained that they lack self-esteem, and direction in their life. It said that sometimes it is because they are controlled by someone, and the only way for them to feel like they have any control in their own life, is to control the life of someone else.Her theories made perfect sense to me.

Controlling people often have addictions and other chemical imbalances in addition to unresolved childhood issues. They create their own reality, therefor explaining the narrow mindedness. She warned in the book the challenges of breaking free from those that control you. When in terms of divorce, she explains, the last thing they will use to control you is your children in a court room, and I must agree with her. I have experienced it myself, and I have seen it in the life’s of others. Man can it get nasty!

Can you think of anyone that shows the following signs?

*Substance Abuse- There is a huge link between excessive consumption of alcohol and controlling people.

*Increased Sensitivity- No matter what you say, they feel you are insulting them. They feel you are attacking their character and they get mad very easily. In women, they typically cry easy. In some cases they think nobody likes them, everybody hates them, they are mad at me etc.

*Extreme Jealousy- Are they worried about past relationships, or who you talk to on the phone? Do they think you are spending too much time with others and not enough with them?

*Dominance Over Every Issue- Do they have the final say in everything? Or even most things? Do they dominate the conversations forcing their opinions on you? Are you in a dictatorship instead of the partnership that you wanted?

*Complete Control Over Emotions- Do you feel they control your moods? What about your emotions? Are you only allowed to express certain emotions or feelings in their presence without an argument?

*Belittling – Are they making fun of you? Calling you names? Telling you that you couldn’t make it without them or that you would never find anyone else? Calling you ugly, fat, too skinny, etc.?

*Forced Intimacy- Do they force you to have sex or even guilt trip you into it? (I refer to it as a sympathy sex.) Do they force you to take on certain roles when having sex? Do they only satisfy themselves?

*Blaming others or guilt trips -“its not my fault” “YOU did this” “If you would have just listened!”

Patricia Evans, author of Controlling People says “Once the person loses a connection with oneself that forms his or her reality, control is pursued in the exterior world.”

The first stepThe important thing to know is, well, you can’t change them. They are who they are. Either you suck it up, take the abuse and leave them in your life OR you stick up for yourself, decide enough is enough, and you walk away. Only you can decide.

Walking away is difficult, and the control doesn’t necessarily stop unless you learn techniques on how to do so. And even then it can be tricky. They will attempt to make your life hell. To them it is your punishment for making them feel even worse about themselves.

The best revenge you can get however, will be a life well lived.

Though you are a victim of someone’s hurtful behavior, you are responsible for your response. Protect yourself, there is life after this. But it’s up to you to take the first step.

Are you being or have you been controlled before? What can you do or have you done to break the cycle? What do controlling people really want?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Is Your Child Being Bullied? Build them up!

Statistics show that school bullying is far worse now than ever before. It can begin in elementary and last as long as the victim allows it. Currently it is present in my child’s elementary school, which to me seems extremely young. It is something that as a parent, you don’t expect to be teaching about, until it happens.

It is important that we as parents allow the child to fight the battle on their own. We are there to simply guide. We are there to teach them techniques in handling their relationship problems, not intervene and do all the work. Intervening will only make the child become more singled out, and of course picked on more. Now if things really begin to get out of line, we may need to step in. However, I feel it’s important that they learn to stand up for themselves.

Engage in a conversation with your child about self esteem. I explained to my son recently about a bully at his school: “It happens because he feels gross on the inside. He see’s you happy, doing good, and he is jealous. You have good friends, your teachers love you, you have a kind heart, you are smart, and you are handsome. Continue to pray for him, and continue to make wise choices for yourself. In 20 years that boy will likely be behind bars unless he finds Jesus and you will have finished college, be happily married, and living a beautiful life. So, don’t let people like that get you down.” He hugged me, thanked me, and began to discuss it some more with me. And I sat there thankful, that my children are comfortable telling me anything. I hope that never goes away!

I think it is important that we build our children up, they need to know they are important. Their opinions are important, they have a voice, they are people. I think it is crucial to teach them ways to deal with the issue, as well as just letting it go after a certain point. I would hate to see my child as a grown adult still stewing over what a school mate once said or did in their childhood. I want to raise children with confidence. I want them to use their voice, and when necessary, I will be there to back them up.

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What Is “Best Interest Of The Child”, & Why Don’t The Courts Care Post Divorce?


“Best Interest Of The Child/Children” is a common phrase thrown around in custody disputes and court proceedings. However, unfortunately once everything is settled, it turns out to be a phrase that seems unimportant to most. Once the microscope is gone and nobody is paying attention, people slip back into the person they truly are.

The upsetting part is that the children have suffered enough. If the court systems truly cared about the child’s best interest they would care at all times. If they had some sort of “automatic review” where they actually went back to see how things are truly working for everyone, people wouldn’t get away with the things they do post divorce.

Children are being manipulated, poisoned, and hurt. Pains that will be with them through adulthood and possibly in their own marriages someday. It is really sad! There is case after case where children are not in the place that is in their best interest, yet there is nothing to stop it from happening.

Because there is no review, one must file a contempt charge. Then another, and another, and another. If they comply it gets thrown out, if you file again and they don’t comply they are guilty. But what does this solve? It would start a bigger war to file papers, hire lawyers, and have everyone walking on pins and needles again than to have a court system set up to automatically review custody agreements/cases.

If our court system could develop something to monitor such agreements, it would be about the best interest of the child, ALL the time. Not just when it is convenient for certain parties.

We have reviews for our criminals, our welfare system, government insurance/medicaid, and all of the other programs. BUT, not in our future, not when it comes to these kids that have suffered enough. What is wrong with this picture?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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Free Disney Tickets! 100% LEGIT!


Here is a neat program that rewards you for providing a service in your community. Sign up to volunteer, and you get free admission to Disney!! No joke, no scams, 100% legit!

http://www.GiveADayGetADisneyDay.com

Follow the link above to register!

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10 Steps To Fighting Depression, The Natural Way

Depression can hit unexpectedly but there are ways to overcome it naturally. It is as simple as changing your patterns, routines and thought processes. Just as one would their clothes if they were dirty.

1.) Set reasonable goals. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet them in the amount of time you have allotted yourself. Just keep setting more. Remember, baby steps.

2.) Create a network of people around you that you can confide in, and trust. If you only have one person you can talk to, join a social networking site, or activities within your community.  Sometimes finding old friends from our past can aid us in finding ourselves again.

WARNING: Be extremely careful here if you are married. I would recommend same-sex friends during this phase of pulling yourself out. It is all too easy for an affair to happen, and when in this stage it is important that you stay away from situations where you might not use your best judgment.

3.) Go to the library! This helps a ton. Check out book after book, read story after story, and gain knowledge on the situation. The self-help section is amazing! And, well, knowledge is power.

4.) Eat healthy and get rest. This is important! The better you eat the better you will feel. And the better you feel, the better you will sleep.

5.) Write about your feelings! This is therapeutic and solidifies how you really feel. It holds you accountable. Although, any creative outlet…  is good to have. Primarily; expressive arts.

6.) Exercise! Even if it’s only a short walk to start, it is important. It will give you a sense of self-worth.

7.) Find positive people and surround yourself with them. If this is not an option just yet and you live in a negative environment, then surround yourself with positive information. Daily inspirational stories, motivational quotes, etc.

8.) Make some plans! Find something to look forward to! By doing those things you have always wanted to do, you will naturally pull yourself out of that rut.

9.) PRAY! You can do everything mentioned above, but this is the most important. It’s one I avoided for some time, but the only true answer.

10.) If these things do not work, seek professional help. They can, and will help.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2018. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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