The majority of people who suspect cheating probably should. Usually that is your instincts trying to tell you something.
Those who don’t suspect cheating in their relationship, should still have this knowledge. There are two reasons I suggest this. 1) It can happen to anyone, and 2) It’s not a bad thing to know what signs and symptoms to look for. Most people don’t know the signs of a cheater, until it is a little too late.
1.) Appearance – Has he/she taken more pride in personal appearance lately such as: new clothes, cologne/perfume, working out, new hairstyles etc.? If they are getting all done up just for a trip to the grocery store or other trips that are out of the ordinary, then something is probably fishy. Granted, some people do naturally take pride in their appearance. With cheaters it is more of a sudden change in their normal patterns of getting ready, what they wear, how they look etc.
2.) Nit-Picking – Is he/she picking a fight just to get away or using the notorious “Time to think” or “I have some work to do at the office” excuse? Cheaters do this every day. They will literally pick a fight just so they have a reason to get away from you and do what they do…cheat!
3.) More Frequent Trips – Is he/she leaving the house more frequently? Granted this is not always the case. Work affairs happen so often and their time is mostly accounted for.
4) Abandonment Technique – Is he/she leaving you with the children knowing you won’t drag them to check up on him/her? This is a common trick for married couples. Once the kids are in bed it makes it hard for the one left behind to check out anything questionable in their partners behavior.
5.) New Tunes – Is he/she listening to new music? Lyrics are crucial!!! Especially for ladies! We identify with songs as though they are the meaning of our own life and experiences. Now ladies, men are usually opposite on this one. They can truly listen to a song and think about absolutely nothing.
6.) Internet – Is he/she on the computer a lot? If they are spending more time talking to and interacting with people on the internet than they are with you then it would be a huge flag. Where we invest our time speaks volumes as to which relationships mean the most.
7.) Uninvited – Is he/she doing things/activities and you are not welcome or even invited to attend? Some will purposely schedule or portray to schedule activities you detest because they know you will not want to go. (Call their bluff the next time and watch their reaction.)
8.) Unhappy – Has he/she mentioned unhappiness in the relationship in the last 6-12 months? Typically mentioning being unhappy with the relationship happens just before an affair begins. In a sense it is a cry for help. Or a warning call per say.
9.) Contacts – Are there any unusual numbers or contacts in his/her cellular phone or on the bill? Many men will make up a guys name and many females will make up a ladies name so that it appears to just be a text from a friend. Another one in this category is the mentioning of hanging out with the friend you have never heard of.
10.) Secretive – Has he/she been more secretive or distant? If you are communicating less and he or she is keeping to themselves more then that may be a flag.
11.) Depression – Has he/she recently suffered from depression? Depression can do many things to the mind. A simple compliment could carry the depressed person far away, into a land of hope. And boom, affair.
12.) Loss – Has he/she recently lost a loved one? Losing a loved one causes us to reevaluate our lives. Some develop a need to live as though they were dying themselves after losing someone close to them.
13.) Changes In bedroom – Is there a sudden lack of interest or a sudden uncontrollable interest in sex? This too is an obvious sign. Affairs can play both sides however. But definitely question when new techniques or ideas appear.
So many affairs fly under the radar before being detected and these above mentioned things are very obvious signs. If you have answered yes to a few of these, you likely have some research to do about your partner.
If they are on the computer a lot you can install spyware if you just need proof. This can also be added to their cellular phone.
If you have kids and can’t get away when they take off you can always hire a P.I. relatively cheap. And sometimes you can trick them in to coming clean without providing hardly any information. 9 times out of 10 people discover that the instincts that led them to question it in the first place, were right all along.
Whatever you do, do not let them manipulate you into thinking you are crazy for suspecting something. Dig and dig until the truth is revealed if that is what you are searching for.
Always remember, what is done in the darkness will always be brought to light.