Relationships

Mom, How Do You Know If You Are In Love?

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My daughter asked the age old question….

“Hey mom, how do you know if you are in love?”

My answer was quite simple. At least it was to me. And although it took me many years of my life to figure it out for myself, I felt like I could give her a legitimate answer.

But first, I had to start with what my definition of love is.

Love Is:

When you give of yourself and think nothing of it. You want nothing but to see the other person happy and for them to benefit. It is sacrificial, and you expect nothing in return.

Sometimes love can mean being with the person forever and getting married, and sometimes you love them enough to say goodbye. But when it is true love, you can feel it. You just click.

You respect each other and get along, and you don’t try and change the other person. You work together. It is a partnership with two people who are the best of friends.

You laugh regularly. You cheer one another on. And you feel like there is nothing that life can throw at you, that the two of you can not handle together. 

Now, being in love… that can be tricky!

But as for me…..

How do I know that I am in love?

For starters, I still count the hours until he gets home from work and we get our family time, and time as a couple. I still get butterflies when he touches my hand. And no matter how bad of a day I have had, one hug makes it all go away.

I look forward to every conversation we have, from religion to politics and everything in between. I love getting to know him more every day. I love the simple ways he shows me on a daily basis that he loves me.

I am simple. So is he. And together, it is just something magical.

And when you are in love…. it is magical. Nothing anyone says will make you feel any different. And every day, you love them more than the day before.

how love test

They Come And They Go

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I recently read a quote that said “If a friendship lasts more than seven years it will last a lifetime.” I don’t buy it! 

Now granted, I have been blessed with many of good friends. Some friendships go back as far as 34 years. But even some of those “friendships” do not have much depth to them. If we knew each other at the core of our being, we may not really like each other.

I have found that friends come in cycles. Although we are blessed to have some we may consider our best friends, they are only our best friends so long as they can relate to us in some way. Whether is be that you are raising kids the same ages, both in marital trouble, both single, both party animals, both share the same hobbies, or even both on a spiritual journey together… they tend to come and go. So long as we are changing, our circle will continue to change as well.

The friends worth keeping are the ones who:

*Tell you the truth no matter how bad it hurts.

*They are not offended by your lack of time for them.

*They understand we are all unique with our own thoughts, feelings and ideas. They respect yours and you respect theirs.

*They listen as much as they speak.

*No matter how much time lapses, you are a phone call away from feeling like there was no time lost at all.

*They make you laugh when you would rather cry.

*They want to see you happy and successful.

*They are with you at your worst and at your best.

If you have one good friend, that you can trust and share life with….. count your blessings. And keep a hold of him or her. A good friend who is both honest and true, is hard to find.

Love At First Sight, Is It Real?

ImCo-DependentBWMany people ask the question “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

Had they asked me 20 years ago the answer would have been no. But if I was asked today, I would say absolutely without a doubt….YES, I do believe in love at first sight.

Why yes? One might ask.

I knew from the second I saw my guy. I was lovestruck. There was just something about him that was different than the rest. It is hard to explain, but I just knew. There was a connection before the exchange of words. I was mesmerized. And I was somewhat frozen.

What happened was….

I was just minding my own business singing a song and out from around the corner he came. He walked towards the stage and then stopped just a few feet away from where I was. And then we locked eyes as I continued to sing. When I was done singing, I knew I was ready to start loving. This one had me before we even said hello. And so the love story began.

It truly caught me off guard. It was just so unexpected. So random. And well… flat out magical. At the time I was in a very bitter, anti-relationship, man bashing place in life. And the morning after I had met him, I walked into work and said “I met my future husband last night” and they looked at me like I was insane. They thought I was joking at first. But no, I was so serious.

To this day he is my best friend, and I love him with all of my heart. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him. He is the peanut butter to my jelly, the peas to my carrots, the salt to my pepper, and so much more.

I still get butterflies when he touches my hand. I still count the hours until we get home to one another. And I feel so thankful and blessed for all the ways he has shown and continues to show his love for me. He is my rock.

Love is so many things, and I feel like we have them all. It is patient, kind, willing, sacrificial, giving, understanding, accepting, loyal, faithful, and it is forever. Once you finally find it that is.

Uneducated Enthusiasm

“Deception has many forms. Just because it appears to be right,  doesn’t mean that it is not wrong.“

We are all guilty at some point of becoming overly excited about something or someone when we have not obtained all of the facts. From jobs to relationships or anything new, we get excited.

When we encounter new people or situations in our life, it may appear to be total perfection. Perhaps it all seems to fit so well. It may seem to be exactly what we have waited for or what we need at the time.

When we get excited like that it is time to search for the facts, and just slow down the pace. If we do not, we are merely suffering from uneducated enthusiasm.

We can not rush into decisions because when we do, we are often headed for a disaster. It is far more important to make decisions slowly and with wisdom, than to do it in a rush and have the relationship or situation end in total disgust.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Depths of Love

We are fools for love or thinking we have found it only to find out in time…..

“That was not it!”

But one thing is for certain….

we either always love them or we never truly did.

Impossible and Possible

We can’t ever change who a person is. That has to come from within them. We can however change our circle of people, so that we have a better fit when it comes to the company we keep.

If personalities clash and you are finding yourself frustrated around a person more than you find yourself full of joy and happiness – it is an easy fix. Instead of trying to mold and change the individual, change where you are spending your time instead. After that, everything will start falling into place. 

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are You Waiting For Change?

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If we are waiting for someone to change in order for us to feel fulfilled and happy then we are wasting our valuable time and energy.

As we now change comes from within. And we can not change others. We can only change how we deal with them. And some are just best not to deal with at all. It keeps us healthier mentally and emotionally.

If someone else’s actions or lack there of are hurting you, then it is time to walk away. We have to protect ourselves. We are the only ones responsible for our own happiness so it is up to us to look out for what is in our best interests.

Bridges Crossed – Bridges Burned

Some bridges are there for the view and others are meant to be crossed. No bridges should ever be burned. Burning them prevents us from crossing them again someday, and we never know when that time will come.

Instead of burning them, build beside the old bridge and create a new way. The other bridge can be the blueprint for building the new bridge. Not to mention, by leaving the old bridge in place it is easier to see how far you have come.

Build them, instead of burning them. It not only looks better, but feels better too.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Why Can’t They Love You?

It will not matter how much we love, forgive,  or accept someone. If they are incapable of loving us the way we need to be loved, the relationship is doomed. 

For some love is a lifelong commitment. It is a sacred covenant where they place all of their trust. For others, love lasts until the next best thing comes along. They want the rush and thrills of love without doing any of the work. They need the quick fix.

Thoughts of goodbye may bring anxiety. There may even be moments of panic depending on how it ended. We can suppress the feelings or face them. By facing them we stand a better chance of succeeding the next time. 

When we have given all that we had and loved with all of our heart to have lost; odds are the next time will be the real deal. It very well may be a relationship where all things are reciprocated. In the meantime, keep the faith. Had we not experienced the loss we wouldn’t be ready for that one we are about to meet.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.