Love

Why Can’t They Love You?

It will not matter how much we love, forgive,  or accept someone. If they are incapable of loving us the way we need to be loved, the relationship is doomed. 

For some love is a lifelong commitment. It is a sacred covenant where they place all of their trust. For others, love lasts until the next best thing comes along. They want the rush and thrills of love without doing any of the work. They need the quick fix.

Thoughts of goodbye may bring anxiety. There may even be moments of panic depending on how it ended. We can suppress the feelings or face them. By facing them we stand a better chance of succeeding the next time. 

When we have given all that we had and loved with all of our heart to have lost; odds are the next time will be the real deal. It very well may be a relationship where all things are reciprocated. In the meantime, keep the faith. Had we not experienced the loss we wouldn’t be ready for that one we are about to meet.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Faith Adds Color To Darkness

The Devil In A Sunday Dress

“What appears to be, isn’t always what is meant to be.”

Have you ever had something happen in your life that appeared to be an answer to prayer? Did it seem as though it were laid directly in your lap and meant specifically for you? Did it turn out to be not as beautiful as it were when you first received it? Did that gift, end up being your worst nightmare?

There are many times in my life where I felt a prayer was being answered or I was being led in a particular way. As soon as I saw what it was I wanted, I reached out and grabbed it. I felt God had sent it, therefore it was meant to be!

In time I have learned that those moments in life where something appeared to be divine intervention, most often turned out to be the devils manipulation. Now I  refer to those moments or times periods as times where  “the devil is/was wearing  his Sunday dress”.  

When the devil wears his Sunday dress; that dress looks good, it is wrinkle free,  and it’s very  flowing. It hides the  flaws, it smells good, and it feels good on the skin. However, it does not mean that we will be getting exactly what we see. The way it looks while he is wearing it will not be the way it is once we slip into it, and try it on for ourselves.  

The devil slips on his Sunday dress when we are praying for answers in our life. Whether it be relationships, social issues, career choices, or parenting; he will likely appear in at least one or all of them.

It may be a job that answers our financial worries but it will also wash away all happiness in the end. Or maybe it is  a relationship that appeared flawless in the beginning and suddenly it becomes lopsided and washes away who we are. It could even be a lover who was only supposed to be a friend, or a friend who was meant to be a lover. Everyone could fill in the blanks here, as we all encounter times in life where something isn’t what it initially appeared to be.

We must learn to recognize Gods answers over the devils deceptions. The best way to do this, is to talk to Him regularly. If we pray for discernment and take steps only when confident, we will walk wisely. It is the best way to have peace with our decisions  and make ourselves available to receive the blessings He has waiting for us.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

“It may appear to be the exactly what we have asked for; but it doesn’t mean that we are where we are supposed to be,  or that what we see is what we are supposed to have at this particular moment. ”                        

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. 

Love Is Like A Tattoo

I designed this greeting card after having reflected upon my own life as well as the lives of others. Once true love is found; it will always exist.  It may change forms but it is still there somehow. While on some days the flame will be brighter than others; it will never go away.

We may cover it, and we may hide it but still we know it is there. And sometimes others can catch a glimpse of it without us even knowing that they noticed. Like a tattoo, love is hard to hide.

Just as ink covers the body we all long to be covered in love. And just as the ink creates a design that becomes a beautiful piece of art, love paints a picture for us all that we will always hold close to our heart.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.

Are You Leaving a Legacy, Or a Liability?

As parents we all want what is best for our children. However, what some parents fail to realize in terms of co-dependent children is that they are no longer leaving a legacy, but yet, a liability.

By leaving a legacy one must raise self-sufficient children. They should be children capable of making their own wise and practical decisions upon adulthood. They should be children who feel compelled to do more with their life than the previous generation. And most importantly, they should be emotionally healthy children who feel they can be who they are, not who we imagined or wanted them to be.

Examples:

Just because we have run the family business, doesn’t mean we should expect our children to take over someday. They will likely have plans of their own.

Just because we played a particular sport and excelled, doesn’t mean we should force our children to play it if they have no interest.

Just because they dream the impossible, doesn’t mean we should squash their dreams.

Our job is to encourage their successes, and help guide them when they encounter failure. It is to teach them how to handle their own relationships vs., being a dictator for their relationships. Our job is tough, but to raise healthy children with the ability to maintain healthy adult relationships, we must push them to do well. We must teach them to put forth effort. We must help them learn to look at the big picture.

Signs of leaving a liability:

The adult child comes to you for every one of life’s hurdles.

The adult child now expects the parent to take care of financial responsibilities.

The adult child now expects parents to bail them out.

The adult child now has no insight.

The adult child now has dependency issues aside from their relationship with their parents. Most likely chemical dependencies.

The adult child is now angry.

The adult child, will then likely leave another liability for their children. And the trend continues. However, there are ways to avoid leaving a liability. And there are proven ways to leave a legacy. Proven ways to leave a legacy are as follows:

Encourage and comfort your children.

Listen to their feelings and respect that they have their own minds, and opinions.

Do not try to control who they are, better yet guide them to where they should be.

Allow them to suffer consequences of their actions. They need tough love. They have their own friends to be best friends with.

And most importantly, practice what you preach. Be a good role model.

I once heard a saying from a parent that said : Well I guess if I was your best friend, and you loved me all the time; then I wouldn’t be a very good parent. And I agree with that statement. There will be times our children do not agree with our decisions in parenting. There will be times they do not understand our reasoning and we find ourselves saying what we once heard: Someday you will understand….when you have kids of your own.

These days I see more parents trying to be best buddies with their kids. They are there to rescue them from situations the kids/adult children put themselves into. Rather than showing tough love so lessons can be learned, they throw them preserver after preserver.

Tough love is absolutely the hardest step for people to take in any forms of relationships. But without it, we leave a liability. We should be leaving a legacy instead. We should be allowing our children to live their own life, and a life that they are proud of. An honest life, and a life with an abundance of good people with direction.

Are you leaving a legacy or a liability? Are you teaching bad habits? Or are you setting a good example instead? The quote that children learn what they live, has much insight. What are your children learning from you?

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerer, 2009-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerer with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Thoughts and Quote Of The Day

“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad.

Let God deal with the things they do. Hate in your heart will consume you too.”

– Will Smith


When people put you down – let it go. They do it because they feel bad about themselves.

When people lie to you and hide things – let it go. They do it because they have lost sight of who they are. They are best friends with fear and denial.

When people make false promises – let it go. They are too self absorbed to notice most of the time.

When people disrespect you – let it go. It is because they do not respect themselves.

When people discourage you – let it go. It’s because they lack that courage themselves.

When people hate you – let it go and  love them anyway. Hate and anger will destroy you. Love is much simpler.

When people can’t say thank you – let it go. There will come a day they wished they would have.

When you find yourself upset – let it go. It’s better to choose happiness.

When people refuse to pay time or attention to things that matter to you – let it go. God will send you people that will.

© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are They Truly Sorry?

We are all human and we all make mistakes. In some cases it hinders relationships and apologies are necessary. But how do we know if someone is truly sorry for their actions?

Admittance – Without admitting what we have done wrong we remain in a state of denial. While in denial, it is impossible to break the cycle. If your partner has admitted their wrong doings, you are heading in the right direction.

Apologetic – Anyone can apologize and say what people want to hear. When wondering how sorry a person is, ask yourself how sincere the apology was. Or was there even an apology? No apology is denial of the behavior and a guarantee that those emotions that prompted you to read this, will resurface again until the cycle is broken.

Actions – After admitting a wrongdoing and apologizing it is important to put words into action. At this stage the apologetic person should be taking large strides to correct his/her issues. This should be something seen regularly vs. something seen for the few days following a disagreement. Although we may slip up when making changes and revert to old behaviors from time to time, when someone is truly sorry you will see more days of effort than you will days of the old behavior.

Change – When a person is truly apologetic, change is noticeable. There are no gray areas. This person has not only admitted it and apologized, but he/she is actively trying to help himself/herself. Whether it be by reading materials pertaining to the issues, or receiving counseling for his/her problems the changes should be noticeable.

Accept – Someone that is truly sorry can take the heat, and will acknowledge what they have done along with accepting the repercussions. They will suggest ways to mend fences, and admit that they guided the relationship to this position. They will accept any emotions they have caused those they have hurt as though they were their own. They will be understanding, compassionate, and patient.

“Until people decide with the right intentions to change for themselves,

….. change is impossible.”

Titles Are Just Titles

As I read an email from a reader this morning wondering why I have been much slower to post these days, I thought I would share my most recent life lesson: Titles Are Just Titles. Not only will it explain the lesson, but it will also explain some of why I have been much slower to post items these days.

From the time I was a young girl, I wanted a title in terms of career. I knew when I grew up and had a career it would be something meaningful that I would be proud of. Upon entering my third year as a single mom I had yet to find that career with that nice title. Then alas, it came. I was hired as the “Operations Manager” and felt like my future was secure. It was such a strong title, and on salary.com it showed some nice numbers for a salary. I knew if I took the position I would be making a six digit salary within a year or two. So I took the position. It was definitely promising for a single mother of three, and the company seemed to have a lot of potential.

As I began to work for this company my creativity began to be used there instead of here, and I had less to offer when it came to writing. I was beat. I was spent. And I was also pre-occupied with other things. I would be in the midst of working with no way to jot ideas as they came, and at times it drove me crazy. I was conflicted and torn so I did what I always do, I prayed.

As I prayed things began to unravel. One thing at a time, one day at a time I was given cues. And to make a long story short, my boss turned out to be a complete shmuck that didn’t pay me for two months.  So rather than work for free, I quit. I gave up on the career with the strong title and I quit worrying about what other people think about where I am at in my journey of life now.  Since resigning as Operations Manager, I have since begun to walk my own path. I have begun treasure hunting at auctions for items to sell on eBay, and have had more time to write.

As a result, this past week I have nearly finished a book that should be complete within the next few days. Although I havent been actively posting, I have been actively writing and look forward to sharing this book with everyone. It is a compilation of life, love, and lessons. It is a simple table side poetry book but is designed much different from others out there. I’m excited to publish it, and look forward to feedback both good and bad.

Through all this I learned that titles are just titles. It is doing what we love and what makes us happy that matters most when lay our head down at night. And this, is what I love. Writing, sharing, giving, and helping. That is me. And I have way more to give, when I don’t worry about what other people think.

Some Love

Some love comes for a season,

Some love lasts forever.

Some love is forfeited,

Some love is mistaken all together.

Some love brings inspiration,

Some love brings shame.

Some love is never-ending,

No love is the same.


© Angela Bininger and The Empowerers, 2009-2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this websites author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Angela Bininger and The Empowerers with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.